That's what I want

It’s inevitable as I do medical searches in online journals (yikes! Graduating in December means I’ll be cut off from my ECU library privileges, which means it will become much harder to search journals for full articles) that I stumble across an article title like this one: “When and how to evaluate mildly elevated liver enzymes in apparently healthy patients.”

I might skim the article, but I don’t usually spend much time with these. It’s those pesky last words, “healthy patients,” that tell me it's not for me.

I’m not sure when exactly it happened in the past three years, but somewhere along the way I stopped being one of those.

It used to make me sad. I had to grieve the loss of that healthy girl.

And, if you don’t know me well or if you’re new to this blog, let me explain a bit: I don’t always feel sick. And hopefully I will reach a point at which my rheumatoid arthritis is in remission and my other health issues are managed well. Then I should feel pretty normal. I long for that day. Even then, though, I’ll still be a chick with two chronic health conditions. Two diseases that won’t go away before God performs a miracle, a miracle that I know will happen. I just don’t know that it will happen on this side of heaven, and I’m trusting God to make that miracle happen with His perfect timing. I do know one thing, though:
if it will bring Him more glory in my life and in the lives of others not to bring the miracle before heaven, that’s what I want.

Let me say that again in a different way: If I am healed before heaven and that act of healing glorifies God, I’m all for it. However, if God’s glory is magnified more through my chronic conditions, then that’s what I want, warts RA and Hashimoto's and MRSA and all. I can do without the label of "healthy girl" because I'm glad to trade it for "Christ's ambassador" and "daughter of the Most High."

I don’t know which would glorify Him more: a total healing or continued trials. I don’t have to ponder that, though, because it’s up to Him. And I trust that His plan is perfect in whatever He chooses.

Healthy girl? I liked to think of myself that way, even if that’s more of a memory now.

Christ’s ambassador? I’m humbled to take that role, and I’m asking God to use me, chronic illness and all, to reflect His glory.

Lord, please keep me from getting so wrapped up in myself and my fleeting trials that I fail to point to you. May I never communicate the good or bad of my health as a me-focused story. Instead let me share the story of Christ.

For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:14-21

And, on the topic of my health, here’s an update: liver is still not doing so hot. We’ve dropped one drug and will do bloodwork again on September 7. Please pray that my interactions with office, lab, and nursing staff that day point to Christ and that the labs will show that my liver is on the rebound.

Love,
The okay-with-not-being-the-healthy-girl girl

Good times with the clown sprinkler

When I was little, my grandmother had this clown sprinkler thing that I loved. I'm hoping I'll be able to find some pictures of those good times, because now I have pictures of my sweet ones playing with it. New good times!

If you're not familiar with this type of sprinkler, here's how it works: (1) Position hat on clown's head. (2) Turn on water. (3) Stream shoots from the top of the clown's head, lifting the hat into the air. (4) The water diverts out the top of the hat, spraying it all around (and making a difficult task out of taking pictures without soaking the camera!).

Lee had never seen one before, so he was impressed by it...especially because I had done a terrible job of describing it, which meant that he had no idea what to expect when he set it up.

And the kids sure enjoyed it too, don't you think? Although they did discover that the hat falls off when the water flow is interrupted for more than a quick moment, which is why the hat is by their feet in the picture above.

When they realized what they had done to the hat, they were quite proud of themselves.

Next time we go to Nana's house, I will bring a change of clothes for me too. It took a while for them to get the hang of putting the hat back on. Which meant that Mommy had to run into the spray zone and fix it. Again. And again. And again.

I didn't mind, though. How cute are they?

Can he catch the water?

Yep.

However, he wasn't expecting the spray in his face when he caught it. Poor guy!

Well, poor guy for a bit, Until he learned to deflect it out toward everyone else!

Mwahahaha says Little Man as he soaks everyone near him.

The life of the pool party

Well, I'm not sure that little man was the life of the pool party (a birthday celebration for his sister's best friend), but he sure was the persevering one. He continued to play for at least 30 minutes after everyone else had cleared out!

Look, his head sprays water!

Okay, not really.

A ball (one of his favorite things) + water (another favorite) = good times.

Though said ball is an easy target for something to put in his mouth. We're not past that stage yet. :)

And, Little Man, can you tell us what you think about the spraying water?

Yippee!

A great response to kids' nightmares

We haven't had a lot of nightmares lately (praise God!), but we went through a two month period last December and January that involved one or two terrible night terrors every night. None of us slept much, and that is part of the reason that the kids are no longer sharing a room. I think our sweet girl has grown out of night terrors (please, God, let that be true!), but nightmares do happen from time to time. Her imagination is vivid during the daytime, so it's only logical that she would have a vivid subconscious nightlife too!

I read this yesterday here at girltalk, and I am thankful for the wisdom of the Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters - in this case, Janelle is the one imparting that wisdom - once again.

Dr. Russell Moore—himself a father of small children—recently offered this insightful answer [for nightmares]:

“The kids know—they instinctively know—that they're living in a universe in which something's gone awry. It's not our job—as parents, or as Sunday school teachers—to disengage that. It's our job to come in and to provide an answer to that. Yeah, you're living in an enchanted world. Yeah, you're living in a haunted world. You're living in a world haunted by demonic powers. That's exactly right—what you deeply fear is indeed the case... Your worrying about the monster under the bed isn't unreasonable; there's a monster under the fabric of the cosmos. Instead, we give them a story that provides the only comfort that really is lasting comfort; it's a comfort that the enemies have been defeated."

I am going to add a few words to my middle of the night hugs and kisses routine. Yes, Caly-girl, we live in a scary world, but we don’t need to be afraid. The monster has been crushed. And the One who crushed him, He’s right here in this room.

Happy birthday, Lee!

Dear Lee/Daddy,

We love you! We are incredibly thankful for all you do for us as husband and daddy and leader of our household. We read this passage this morning and thought of you:

 ¹ Blessed is the man
       who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
       or stand in the way of sinners
       or sit in the seat of mockers.
 ² But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
       and on his law he meditates day and night.
 ³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
       which yields its fruit in season
       and whose leaf does not wither.
       Whatever he does prospers.

Psalm 1:1-3

We look forward to celebrating with you tonight with tickling, wrestling, and singing. Oh, yeah, and cake.

Love,
Mommy, Sweet Girl, and Little Man