A kid first
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I know and love a precious little boy. He loves cars and dogs. He likes giving hugs. He would rather run than walk. He cuddles with his parents and looks up to his older brothers.
Oh, yeah, and he has Down syndrome and a seizure disorder, and he's had more surgeries than years of life.
He isn't just a kid with Down syndrome. He's a kid who reminds me of Robbie in a lot of ways. And who also has some medical and intellectual baggage that's different from most kids.
I know lots of mommas who don't like sharing their kids' disabilities with people because then some people will never look at their kids the same way after that disclosure. They will always view the child through disability-tinted glasses.
That's why it's standard practice in special education to put the person first - "a kid who has Down syndrome" rather than "a Downs kid." The concept of person-first language is often considered to be about political correctness. And it is, a little.
But it's more about compassion. About not defining a kid by his disability. It's about caring about him as a child. It's about putting the kid first and the disability second in our thoughts, actions, and words.
The APA stylebook gets it right with their first statement under 3.15 Disabilities: "The overall principle for 'nonhandicapping' language is to maintain the integrity (worth) of all individuals as human beings."
God calls Gideon a warrior when he's cowering. God sees that his struggles don't define him and that there's more to him than his present condition.
God calls believers saints and makes us righteous, even though most days it would be more apt to label me "disobedient" or "sinful."
God still knit together my young friend in his mother's womb. God loves him. When Jesus invited the children to come to him, He didn't stipulate that only the kids with the correct number of chromosomes should come.
God is the one gives each of us worth.
I don't think that Jesus would flippantly label Thomas with the moniker he is often assigned, doubting Thomas. Did Thomas ask for evidence of Christ's bodily resurrection? Yes. Was it his finest moment? Maybe not. But he's known by many as the guy who doubted.
It think it's because we love categories:
The kid with Down syndrome.
The guy with cancer.
The young wife who is struggling with infertility.
The abused woman.
The homosexual.
The girl in time-out (who, by the way, is my daughter right now, but that's another story)
Labels aren't wrong. They aren't (always) untrue.
They are typically overly simplistic, though.
If it's useful to refer to someone by his/her label, go ahead. If a label isn't necessary, though, think before you speak.
Because my little friend is a sweet boy who you would love to know. When his momma looks at him, the first words that come to mind aren't "Down syndrome." If you stop at the definitions given by his disabilities, you might miss out on all the sweetness that his momma sees. You might miss out his "integrity (worth)...as a human being," a worth that was created by the same Creator who made the other kids you know and love.
Let him be a kid, first and foremost.
Oh, yeah, and he has Down syndrome and a seizure disorder, and he's had more surgeries than years of life.
He isn't just a kid with Down syndrome. He's a kid who reminds me of Robbie in a lot of ways. And who also has some medical and intellectual baggage that's different from most kids.
I know lots of mommas who don't like sharing their kids' disabilities with people because then some people will never look at their kids the same way after that disclosure. They will always view the child through disability-tinted glasses.
That's why it's standard practice in special education to put the person first - "a kid who has Down syndrome" rather than "a Downs kid." The concept of person-first language is often considered to be about political correctness. And it is, a little.
But it's more about compassion. About not defining a kid by his disability. It's about caring about him as a child. It's about putting the kid first and the disability second in our thoughts, actions, and words.
The APA stylebook gets it right with their first statement under 3.15 Disabilities: "The overall principle for 'nonhandicapping' language is to maintain the integrity (worth) of all individuals as human beings."
God calls Gideon a warrior when he's cowering. God sees that his struggles don't define him and that there's more to him than his present condition.
God calls believers saints and makes us righteous, even though most days it would be more apt to label me "disobedient" or "sinful."
God still knit together my young friend in his mother's womb. God loves him. When Jesus invited the children to come to him, He didn't stipulate that only the kids with the correct number of chromosomes should come.
God is the one gives each of us worth.
I don't think that Jesus would flippantly label Thomas with the moniker he is often assigned, doubting Thomas. Did Thomas ask for evidence of Christ's bodily resurrection? Yes. Was it his finest moment? Maybe not. But he's known by many as the guy who doubted.
It think it's because we love categories:
The kid with Down syndrome.
The guy with cancer.
The young wife who is struggling with infertility.
The abused woman.
The homosexual.
The girl in time-out (who, by the way, is my daughter right now, but that's another story)
Labels aren't wrong. They aren't (always) untrue.
They are typically overly simplistic, though.
If it's useful to refer to someone by his/her label, go ahead. If a label isn't necessary, though, think before you speak.
Because my little friend is a sweet boy who you would love to know. When his momma looks at him, the first words that come to mind aren't "Down syndrome." If you stop at the definitions given by his disabilities, you might miss out on all the sweetness that his momma sees. You might miss out his "integrity (worth)...as a human being," a worth that was created by the same Creator who made the other kids you know and love.
Let him be a kid, first and foremost.
Embracing the hard things
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I love a good book. This should be obvious by now if you've read more than one or two posts.
I also love a good challenge. This book, while written for teens, provided that for me as well. The authors of Do Hard Things, twin brothers Alex & Brett Harris (little brothers of Joshua Harris), challenge teens who are “conditioned to believe what is false, to stop when things feel hard, and to miss out on God’s incredible purpose for [the] teen years.” Um, couldn't we change "teen years" to "life" and have it apply to all of us?
That sums up my thoughts about their book. When I first read it, it was a little too close for comfort. I read it expecting to glean good stuff for my work in student ministry, intending for it to provide direction for them. Instead, God used it to challenge my own embrace of mediocrity in certain aspects of my life.
The brothers are now 22, but they weren't when this was initially published. This is a book by teens for teens. It's a book I wish I had been able to read when I was a teen. It's a book I wish I had been available to give to my students. It's a book I will pull out for Jocelyn and Robbie to read when they're teens or preteens.
And it's a book that I will pull out, again and again, to remind myself that God isn't all for the easy way. He isn't about the complacent comfort that I can settle into, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally. He doesn't set a bar of low expectations for us, nor should we do so for ourselves. (I also, by the way, find this kind of encouragement at their blog.)
Life isn't about taking the easy road, nor is it about seeking out difficulty for the sake of difficulty. It is, though, about embracing the difficulties that we encounter along the way, not fleeing from them or from Christ in the midst of them. In the book, Alex and Brett write,
We don't do hard thing for the sake of doing hard things. We do them because we treasure a God who cared enough to do the hardest thing, to become a man and live with us and die in our place and rise from the dead. And Christ did those hard things for us, demonstrating for us that being comfortable - here on earth, at least - isn't the aim of a life following hard after Him.
Which hard thing is God calling you to do today?
(And have any of you read Start Here: Doing Hard Things Right Where You Are, their follow-up book? If so, what did you think?)
Yep, this is one of those disclaimer doomaflotchies: While I didn't receive this book for free and while I read it before I began writing book reviews, I am posting this as part of WaterBrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books program.
I also love a good challenge. This book, while written for teens, provided that for me as well. The authors of Do Hard Things, twin brothers Alex & Brett Harris (little brothers of Joshua Harris), challenge teens who are “conditioned to believe what is false, to stop when things feel hard, and to miss out on God’s incredible purpose for [the] teen years.” Um, couldn't we change "teen years" to "life" and have it apply to all of us?
That sums up my thoughts about their book. When I first read it, it was a little too close for comfort. I read it expecting to glean good stuff for my work in student ministry, intending for it to provide direction for them. Instead, God used it to challenge my own embrace of mediocrity in certain aspects of my life.
The brothers are now 22, but they weren't when this was initially published. This is a book by teens for teens. It's a book I wish I had been able to read when I was a teen. It's a book I wish I had been available to give to my students. It's a book I will pull out for Jocelyn and Robbie to read when they're teens or preteens.
And it's a book that I will pull out, again and again, to remind myself that God isn't all for the easy way. He isn't about the complacent comfort that I can settle into, sometimes intentionally, sometimes accidentally. He doesn't set a bar of low expectations for us, nor should we do so for ourselves. (I also, by the way, find this kind of encouragement at their blog.)
Life isn't about taking the easy road, nor is it about seeking out difficulty for the sake of difficulty. It is, though, about embracing the difficulties that we encounter along the way, not fleeing from them or from Christ in the midst of them. In the book, Alex and Brett write,
Smith Wigglesworth didn't learn to read until he was an adult, and he was unable to speak publicly for most of his life due to a terrible stammer. Against all odds he overcame this impediment and turned out to be one of England's greatest evangelist during his later years, leading thousands to Christ.
We could look at this story and say, "What a shame. If only speaking had come easily and early to him, think of how much more fruitful he could have been." But Wigglesworth recognized that the difficulties he overcame were vital to the effectiveness of his ministry. He liked to say, "Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great test. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials."
We don't do hard thing for the sake of doing hard things. We do them because we treasure a God who cared enough to do the hardest thing, to become a man and live with us and die in our place and rise from the dead. And Christ did those hard things for us, demonstrating for us that being comfortable - here on earth, at least - isn't the aim of a life following hard after Him.
Which hard thing is God calling you to do today?
(And have any of you read Start Here: Doing Hard Things Right Where You Are, their follow-up book? If so, what did you think?)
Yep, this is one of those disclaimer doomaflotchies: While I didn't receive this book for free and while I read it before I began writing book reviews, I am posting this as part of WaterBrook Multnomah's Blogging for Books program.
inspirations for our home
/
Every so often I'm going to post house ideas that I love here for two reasons:
And you can click on the pictures to find their original source if I don't mention it. (Mostly. Well, at least in future posts. Today I'm posting courtesy of pain relievers, which make me too loopy for thesis work but just loopy enough for blogging. Or maybe not. If this isn't a lucid enough post, feel free to leave a comment telling me that I should hold off on the blog while relieving pain as well. That won't hurt my feelings. 'Cause nothing hurts right now, thanks to the pain relievers.)
(Oh, and quickexplanation about the pain pills lest you worry that I'm an addict health update: pneumonia getting better but still on antibiotics and an inhaler; left foot which was broken is now healed and fearful of pieces of furniture falling on it again; right foot not broken just badly bruised and fearful of cans jumping out of the pantry to attack again; and two MRSA skin infections improving, although one needed a bit of scapel-loving for an I&D procedure a couple days ago, thus the pain pillage. Yes, I know you're jealous of my health. You don't need to say it out loud.)
Moving on...
First, I'm beginning to look at ideas for living room furniture. The beastly sectional that I bought with my first post-college roommate Niki is too big for the space, not really my preferred style, and no longer providing much cushioning in the cushion area. We've been living with the space issue, and I never totally loved the style (though we did love the price at Willie's Warehouse. yes, that is really the name of the place. It's a classy joint with no AC in South Texas. Their commercials consist of Willie hiding in random places, like inside refrigerators or front-load washers, while other people walk around asking where Willie is. Then he hops out, and everyone laughs. Yep, classy. I once bought a fridge, electric range, washer, and dryer all for $1200, and they lasted well. I miss Willie's.)
Niki is, by the way, listed as my spouse on one of my credit reports because she and I, as new teachers with our first paychecks not yet in sight and a house with no seating, financed the couch jointly. I've tried to correct it. I haven't been successful yet.
Okay, back to seating. I want a smaller and more neutral couch, because I want to be able to switch up accessories.
I'm not opposed to the sectional look, as long as it's miniature, like this one from World Market:
And with that one, I have the option of throwing caution to the wind and going with a color I love in our home. (Neutral? What? I never said that. Hmm, or maybe I did. But did I mean it?)
We saw a swatch of this in the store a week or two ago, and it's much less pumpkin than it looks above. more of a true spice mix - what it might look like if you dumped a little of each of the contents of your spice drawer onto a tray and then added more paprika and nutmeg.
On the other side of the room, where we have boring (and free, so boring is okay) wooden chairs. I want to replace them with one or two of these. (The pictures are the same chair, the first from World Market's website and the second that I took quickly in the store. As you can see in my not-so-great picture, it's more eggplant than purple and smaller than it looks online.)
I am glad I found the chairs, because I was thinking about getting something like this, from Crate and Barrel (I think), in its place (yes, I do like plum, along with terracotta/pumpkin oranges and mossy greens; that's basically our color palette downstairs). However, the chaise is more than double the cost of two of the chairs above.
I'm not sure we can rock the spice colored couch with the eggplant tufted-back chairs in the same room, especially given that the room has green walls. But it would combine all my favorites. I'm going to have to make a design board to consider the possibilities.
Two other quick ideas:
I like this idea of painting frames the same color as the wall and arranging them in a group, though this color isn't my thang. I might do that downstairs. (Thanks for the idea, Censational Girl!)
Also, I've been thinking about taking the carpet off our stairs (because there is no chore I detest as much as vacuuming them) and doing something like this, though with less white. (And, yep, this is Centsational Girl again.)
I just re-read all the work she did, though, and I'm reconsidering, especially because I can't quite figure out what the transitions at the bottom and top of the stairs, both carpeted areas, would look like with wooden stairs. Maybe I'll leave the carpet but revamp the wall and banister as a good first (or possibly only) step, like she did a year before.
And, finally, thanks to Justin Taylor about a month ago, I'm wanting this. It matches nothing that we own, and it wouldn't fit anywhere, but how cool is it?
My next home inspiration post will be my ideas for curtains and coordinating pillow covers. I've found some options at the store, some fabric online, and some other random ideas. I think that might be one of my first post-MAEd projects.
You know, after I finish my other half-finished projects.
And get healthy. (Which I'm hoping will happen. Someday. This side of heaven, hopefully.)
So what's inspiring you right now?
- I like to share what I love.
- I like to have a record of those things.
And you can click on the pictures to find their original source if I don't mention it. (Mostly. Well, at least in future posts. Today I'm posting courtesy of pain relievers, which make me too loopy for thesis work but just loopy enough for blogging. Or maybe not. If this isn't a lucid enough post, feel free to leave a comment telling me that I should hold off on the blog while relieving pain as well. That won't hurt my feelings. 'Cause nothing hurts right now, thanks to the pain relievers.)
(Oh, and quick
Moving on...
First, I'm beginning to look at ideas for living room furniture. The beastly sectional that I bought with my first post-college roommate Niki is too big for the space, not really my preferred style, and no longer providing much cushioning in the cushion area. We've been living with the space issue, and I never totally loved the style (though we did love the price at Willie's Warehouse. yes, that is really the name of the place. It's a classy joint with no AC in South Texas. Their commercials consist of Willie hiding in random places, like inside refrigerators or front-load washers, while other people walk around asking where Willie is. Then he hops out, and everyone laughs. Yep, classy. I once bought a fridge, electric range, washer, and dryer all for $1200, and they lasted well. I miss Willie's.)
Niki is, by the way, listed as my spouse on one of my credit reports because she and I, as new teachers with our first paychecks not yet in sight and a house with no seating, financed the couch jointly. I've tried to correct it. I haven't been successful yet.
Okay, back to seating. I want a smaller and more neutral couch, because I want to be able to switch up accessories.
I'm not opposed to the sectional look, as long as it's miniature, like this one from World Market:
And with that one, I have the option of throwing caution to the wind and going with a color I love in our home. (Neutral? What? I never said that. Hmm, or maybe I did. But did I mean it?)
We saw a swatch of this in the store a week or two ago, and it's much less pumpkin than it looks above. more of a true spice mix - what it might look like if you dumped a little of each of the contents of your spice drawer onto a tray and then added more paprika and nutmeg.
On the other side of the room, where we have boring (and free, so boring is okay) wooden chairs. I want to replace them with one or two of these. (The pictures are the same chair, the first from World Market's website and the second that I took quickly in the store. As you can see in my not-so-great picture, it's more eggplant than purple and smaller than it looks online.)
I am glad I found the chairs, because I was thinking about getting something like this, from Crate and Barrel (I think), in its place (yes, I do like plum, along with terracotta/pumpkin oranges and mossy greens; that's basically our color palette downstairs). However, the chaise is more than double the cost of two of the chairs above.
I'm not sure we can rock the spice colored couch with the eggplant tufted-back chairs in the same room, especially given that the room has green walls. But it would combine all my favorites. I'm going to have to make a design board to consider the possibilities.
Two other quick ideas:
I like this idea of painting frames the same color as the wall and arranging them in a group, though this color isn't my thang. I might do that downstairs. (Thanks for the idea, Censational Girl!)
Also, I've been thinking about taking the carpet off our stairs (because there is no chore I detest as much as vacuuming them) and doing something like this, though with less white. (And, yep, this is Centsational Girl again.)
I just re-read all the work she did, though, and I'm reconsidering, especially because I can't quite figure out what the transitions at the bottom and top of the stairs, both carpeted areas, would look like with wooden stairs. Maybe I'll leave the carpet but revamp the wall and banister as a good first (or possibly only) step, like she did a year before.
And, finally, thanks to Justin Taylor about a month ago, I'm wanting this. It matches nothing that we own, and it wouldn't fit anywhere, but how cool is it?
My next home inspiration post will be my ideas for curtains and coordinating pillow covers. I've found some options at the store, some fabric online, and some other random ideas. I think that might be one of my first post-MAEd projects.
You know, after I finish my other half-finished projects.
And get healthy. (Which I'm hoping will happen. Someday. This side of heaven, hopefully.)
So what's inspiring you right now?