the cake bandit

There was a piece of cake here.

It was only one piece, but still. Hmm...

I think I have a suspect.

He couldn't hide all the evidence.

And I think a better mother would have discouraged this kind of behavior.

This momma opted to document it instead.

Big sister expressed her disapproval of his eating habits (though she looks a bit culpable too).

He seems bothered by her reaction. (Or not.)

I'm beginning to think boys = trouble. I do love these two, though!

Thanks, buddy, but it's a little too late to clean it all up before Mommy notices.

"But what if we don't have anyone with special needs at our church?"

This is a good question. It's a logical one. It's one that often comes up when a church first begins discussing special needs ministry.

It's just not the right question.

Here are some better questions:

1) If you had no children's ministry - no nursery for babies, nothing taught in an age-appropriate way for preschoolers, and so on - do you think families with children would feel welcome in your church?

Another way of wording that: if you were starting a church but had no children in the first few families, would you include a children's ministry, or would you say, "No, we won't concern ourselves with that until kids show up. Then we'll play it by ear"  or something like that?

2) Do you have people with disabilities in your community?

I can already tell you that the answer to that is yes. According to the U.S. Census Bureau in 2008, 19% of Americans have a disability. This group - 54.4 million people - is about the same size as the combined populations of Florida and California.

If you want to know the exact percentages and breakdowns by disability area for public school students in your area, search for "child count" on your schools district's website or call the special education department and ask for that information. For funding purposes, every district is required to track and support the count of students with disabilities, and this information is part of public record. Those numbers won't include children who are in homeschools or private schools, nor does it include children too young or not yet diagnosed. It is a good place to start, though.

3) Do you want to share the Gospel with everyone in your community, or do you want to limit who has access to your body of believers?

Some churches communicate this to their members: "Please invite your friends to join us next week.* (*And by 'friends' we mean friends that would fit well and easily in our facilities and current programs. If you would like a complete list of who to invite and who to exclude, please see one of our ushers in the back after the service.)" 

Okay, maybe the last bit is a stretch. Nonetheless, I'm guessing that's not the message you want to send.

Throw out the initial question. Answer the other three instead.


(Come back tomorrow for some suggestions on where to begin!)

a kid first (and it's World Down Syndrome day)

{I was planning to post this here today anyway, but today is also World Down Syndrome Day, 3/21. The date was chosen because people with Down syndrome, or Trisomy 21, have 3 copies - the two typical ones plus an extra - of chromosome 21. And, as one more educational note, the preferred spelling - at least in the USA - is Down syndrome, not Down's syndrome.}

I know and love a precious little boy. He loves cars and dogs. He likes giving hugs. He would rather run than walk. He cuddles with his parents and looks up to his older brothers.

Oh, yeah, and he has Down syndrome and a seizure disorder, and he's had more surgeries than years of life.

He isn't just a kid with Down syndrome. He's a kid who reminds me of my son Robbie in a lot of ways. And who also has some medical and intellectual baggage that's different from most kids.

I know lots of mommas who don't like sharing their kids' disabilities with people because then some people will never look at their kids the same way after that disclosure. They will always view the child through disability-tinted glasses.

That's why it's standard practice in special education to put the person first - "a kid who has Down syndrome" rather than "a Downs kid." The concept of person-first language is often considered to be about political correctness. And it is, a little.

But it's more about compassion. About not defining a kid by his disability. It's about caring about him as a child. It's about putting the kid first and the disability second in our thoughts, actions, and words.

The APA stylebook gets it right with their first statement under 3.15 Disabilities: "The overall principle for 'nonhandicapping' language is to maintain the integrity (worth) of all individuals as human beings."

God calls Gideon a warrior when he's cowering. God sees that his struggles don't define him and that there's more to him than his present condition.

God calls believers saints and makes us righteous, even though most days it would be more apt to label me "disobedient" or "sinful."

God still knit together my young friend in his mother's womb. God loves him. When Jesus invited the children to come to him, He didn't stipulate that only the kids with the correct number of chromosomes should come.

God is the one gives each of us worth. 

I don't think that Jesus would flippantly label Thomas with the moniker he is often assigned, doubting Thomas. Did Thomas ask for evidence of Christ's bodily resurrection? Yes. Was it his finest moment? Maybe not. But he's known by many as the guy who doubted.

It think it's because we love categories:
The kid with Down syndrome.
The guy with cancer.
The young wife who is struggling with infertility.
The abused woman.
The homosexual.
The girl in time-out (who, by the way, is my daughter right now, but that's another story).

Labels aren't wrong. They aren't (always) untrue.

They are typically overly simplistic, though.

If it's useful to refer to someone by his/her label, go ahead. If a label isn't necessary, though, think before you speak. Please.

Because my little friend is a sweet boy who you would love to know. When his momma looks at him, the first words that come to mind aren't "Down syndrome." If you stop at the definitions given by his disabilities, you might miss out on all the sweetness that his momma sees. You might miss out his "integrity (worth)...as a human being," a worth that was created by the same Creator who made the other kids you know and love.

Let him be a kid, first and foremost.

the biblical basis for special needs ministry

(I have a new post that I'm really proud of at The Works of God Displayed. Below is a teaser; check out the full post here.)

Earlier today I posted this on Twitter at @specialneedsmin: New post coming today on verses that lay out why a church that loves Christ must also be one that loves people w/ special needs.

I struggled a bit with the word must there. Should it be should as in "a church that loves Christ should also be one that loves people w/ special needs," instead? Is must too strong or legalistic to use here?

No.

Here's why... (read the rest here!)

The biblical basis for special needs ministry

Earlier today I posted this on Twitter at @specialneedsmin: New post coming today on verses that lay out why a church that loves Christ must also be one that loves people w/ special needs.

I struggled a bit with the word must there. Should it be should as in "a church that loves Christ should also be one that loves people w/ special needs," instead? Is must too strong or legalistic to use here?

No.

Here's why:

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." (John 14:15)

"You shall therefore love the LORD your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always." (Deuteronomy 11:1)

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. (1 John 5:3)

And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments (1 John, first half of verse 6)

It doesn't say, "If you love me, you should keep my commandments." If we do what God has commanded for us, that demonstrates our love for Him. If we don't, that also demonstrates our (lack of) love for Him. So if a church loves Christ, that church will be one that is faithful to His commandments. Thus my word choice "why a church that loves Christ must also be one that loves people w/ special needs." Any church should do that. A church that loves Christ must, out of their love for Him.

And what does the Word command us?

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:16-18, emphasis mine)

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:12-14, emphasis mine)

And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'...Then he will answer them, saying, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' (Matthew 25:40,45)

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, "You sit here in a good place," while you say to the poor man, "You stand over there," or, "Sit down at my feet," have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. (James 2:1-10, emphasis mine)

And what did Christ model for us?

This is important not only because we do aim to be like Christ, but also because the verb "will keep" in the first verse I quoted, John 14:15, is τηρέω - transliterated to English as tēreō - in Greek, a word which is also used elsewhere in Scripture to mean "watch." What better way to literally "watch" what God commands for us than to watch how Christ lived?

He didn't ignore those with disabilities nor did he treat them as less than others (a good point, lest we interpret "the least of these" to mean "less than me," which it doesn't). His miracles involved those with physical disabilities more than any other group of people. Those miracles included those with blindness (Mark 8:22-26; Mark 10:46-52; Matthew 20:29-34; Luke 18:35-43; Matthew 9:27-31; John 9:1-12), those with leprosy (Matthew 8:1-4; Mark 1:40-45; Luke 5:12-16; Luke 17:11-19), those with paralysis (Matthew 9:1-8; Mark 2:1-12; Luke 5:17-26; John 5:1-18), and those with other chronic health/physical special needs, from dropsy to deafness (Mark 5:21-43; Matthew 9:18-26; Luke 8:40-56; Luke 13:10-17; Luke 14:1-6; Mark 3:1-6; Luke 6:6-11; Matthew 12:9-13; Mark 7:31-37; Matthew 14:34-36; Mark 6:53-56; Matthew 9:35-36).

To look at one specific example:

A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” (Mark 2:1-5)

Here we see not only the model of Christ's response but also a model worth emulating in the friends who didn't allow the challenges of their friend's disability prevent him from accessing Christ. Jesus noticed that, as recorded in the first part of verse 5, "When Jesus saw their faith..." My prayer is that we, as the church, will exhibit that same faith in our deeds.

And what is the potential of ministry to and with special needs?

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:1-3, emphasis mine)

He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments
(Psalm 78:5-7, emphasis mine)

Including those with disabilities and other special needs in the church is one way to display the works of God. If we seek for all believers in this generation and generations to come to know the works of God, then we want to put those works on display in every way possible in the church.

There are other good reasons to include people with special needs in the ministry of our churches, and I will be posting about those as well. Because this blog is still new, though, I want for the biblical foundation to be clear before anything else.

And that biblical foundation highlights why it's important to celebrate and love God's creation in every person.


(A couple related notes:

• If you're part of a church in which you don't have any people with disabilities, I have a post coming up about what this means for you. 
• And if you're reading my posts and thinking "I agree with you, but I just don't know how to do it," then please know that posts are coming for you too! I'll also link to great how-to pieces on other sites when they post them.

Thanks for your patience!)