"But what if I don't know where to start?"

I had a great conversation with a pastor in Kentucky earlier this week. They have one family with special needs in their congregation, they don't think special needs ministry exists at any other local churches, and they feel like God is leading them to do something more than they already are doing.

And after they got to that point, they felt stuck. They know that it would be worthwhile to do something; they just don't know where to start.

This isn't a perfect list (and please chime in with a comment if you would add, reword, or delete anything here!), but here are my recommended step for starting a special needs ministry. They are mostly catered to children's ministry - not because you shouldn't aim for special needs ministry to other age groups but because most churches with special needs ministry started with kids first.

1. PRAY!!! This should be a part of every step, but it's also a vital first step. You don't want to be the guiding force in this; that's God's job, and He's better at it than you'll ever be!
2. Define what your primary goal(s) is for ministry to/with people without disabilities. If, for example, your goal in children's ministry is to make Christ known so that the next generation treasures Christ, then that would be your same goal for special needs children's ministry. The goal doesn't change, even if the way you get there might.
3. Find allies within your church and beyond (potential volunteers, parents, community organizations and non-profits, other churches already doing special needs ministry). Keep your main goal(s) in mind, though, because you might not want to partner with secular groups for certain activities and you might want to exercise caution while working with churches that don't share the same goals or theological perspective with your church. Among these allies, find someone who can spearhead your special needs ministry (and, of course, that person might be you!).
4. Aim to meet the needs that are already present in your church before you make plans to reach out to community. (Don't let this be a stopping point, though! I'm just suggesting that you don't neglect the needs already in your body of believers as you're considering outreach beyond the walls of your church.)
5. Let parents train you - they are, after all, usually the ones who know their child and his/her special needs better than anyone else! If they agree to it, observe the child in his/her school setting, which will allow you to get a good idea of what the child's needs are and what strategies are already working in an educational setting. (And, if you can't observe the child at school, ask the parents about the school setting and goals.) 
6. In most cases, start with inclusion. This means including the child with special needs in a typical Sunday school class, ideally with kids who are the same age. If necessary, pair that child with a volunteer who works with him/her one-on-one to support that inclusion.
7. Find ways to demonstrate the value of people with disabilities to the rest of your congregation. For example, at our last leadership team meeting for youth ministry, our pastor invited a student with special needs to lead our opening prayer time. This student is non-verbal, so Pastor Steve introduced him, explained that the student would be leading us in a time of silent prayer, and told the student to squeeze him on the shoulder when he was done praying so that Steve could end with "amen." Pastor Steve could have just prayed and then told the leaders that we value people with disabilities in our ministry, but that wouldn't have been as convincing.
8. Communicate with the community that your church is one that welcomes people with special needs. This could be scary, because you are opening your doors wide open. However, if you are a welcoming church that is committed to special needs ministry, then why wouldn't you want your community to know that?

What do you think? What else would you add to the list (or what questions do you still have)?


Tomorrow I'll be posting about the qualities you want to have in a person leading special needs ministry {it's now posted and can be found by clicking the linked text!}. Two hints: (1) it doesn't have to be a staff member (I'm not!) and (2) while  background in special education is helpful, it isn't necessary.

the cake bandit

There was a piece of cake here.

It was only one piece, but still. Hmm...

I think I have a suspect.

He couldn't hide all the evidence.

And I think a better mother would have discouraged this kind of behavior.

This momma opted to document it instead.

Big sister expressed her disapproval of his eating habits (though she looks a bit culpable too).

He seems bothered by her reaction. (Or not.)

I'm beginning to think boys = trouble. I do love these two, though!

Thanks, buddy, but it's a little too late to clean it all up before Mommy notices.

"But what if we don't have anyone with special needs at our church?"

This is a good question. It's a logical one. It's one that often comes up when a church first begins discussing special needs ministry.

It's just not the right question.

Here are some better questions:

1) If you had no children's ministry - no nursery for babies, nothing taught in an age-appropriate way for preschoolers, and so on - do you think families with children would feel welcome in your church?

Another way of wording that: if you were starting a church but had no children in the first few families, would you include a children's ministry, or would you say, "No, we won't concern ourselves with that until kids show up. Then we'll play it by ear"  or something like that?

2) Do you have people with disabilities in your community?

I can already tell you that the answer to that is yes. According to the U.S. Census Bureau in 2008, 19% of Americans have a disability. This group - 54.4 million people - is about the same size as the combined populations of Florida and California.

If you want to know the exact percentages and breakdowns by disability area for public school students in your area, search for "child count" on your schools district's website or call the special education department and ask for that information. For funding purposes, every district is required to track and support the count of students with disabilities, and this information is part of public record. Those numbers won't include children who are in homeschools or private schools, nor does it include children too young or not yet diagnosed. It is a good place to start, though.

3) Do you want to share the Gospel with everyone in your community, or do you want to limit who has access to your body of believers?

Some churches communicate this to their members: "Please invite your friends to join us next week.* (*And by 'friends' we mean friends that would fit well and easily in our facilities and current programs. If you would like a complete list of who to invite and who to exclude, please see one of our ushers in the back after the service.)" 

Okay, maybe the last bit is a stretch. Nonetheless, I'm guessing that's not the message you want to send.

Throw out the initial question. Answer the other three instead.


(Come back tomorrow for some suggestions on where to begin!)

a kid first (and it's World Down Syndrome day)

{I was planning to post this here today anyway, but today is also World Down Syndrome Day, 3/21. The date was chosen because people with Down syndrome, or Trisomy 21, have 3 copies - the two typical ones plus an extra - of chromosome 21. And, as one more educational note, the preferred spelling - at least in the USA - is Down syndrome, not Down's syndrome.}

I know and love a precious little boy. He loves cars and dogs. He likes giving hugs. He would rather run than walk. He cuddles with his parents and looks up to his older brothers.

Oh, yeah, and he has Down syndrome and a seizure disorder, and he's had more surgeries than years of life.

He isn't just a kid with Down syndrome. He's a kid who reminds me of my son Robbie in a lot of ways. And who also has some medical and intellectual baggage that's different from most kids.

I know lots of mommas who don't like sharing their kids' disabilities with people because then some people will never look at their kids the same way after that disclosure. They will always view the child through disability-tinted glasses.

That's why it's standard practice in special education to put the person first - "a kid who has Down syndrome" rather than "a Downs kid." The concept of person-first language is often considered to be about political correctness. And it is, a little.

But it's more about compassion. About not defining a kid by his disability. It's about caring about him as a child. It's about putting the kid first and the disability second in our thoughts, actions, and words.

The APA stylebook gets it right with their first statement under 3.15 Disabilities: "The overall principle for 'nonhandicapping' language is to maintain the integrity (worth) of all individuals as human beings."

God calls Gideon a warrior when he's cowering. God sees that his struggles don't define him and that there's more to him than his present condition.

God calls believers saints and makes us righteous, even though most days it would be more apt to label me "disobedient" or "sinful."

God still knit together my young friend in his mother's womb. God loves him. When Jesus invited the children to come to him, He didn't stipulate that only the kids with the correct number of chromosomes should come.

God is the one gives each of us worth. 

I don't think that Jesus would flippantly label Thomas with the moniker he is often assigned, doubting Thomas. Did Thomas ask for evidence of Christ's bodily resurrection? Yes. Was it his finest moment? Maybe not. But he's known by many as the guy who doubted.

It think it's because we love categories:
The kid with Down syndrome.
The guy with cancer.
The young wife who is struggling with infertility.
The abused woman.
The homosexual.
The girl in time-out (who, by the way, is my daughter right now, but that's another story).

Labels aren't wrong. They aren't (always) untrue.

They are typically overly simplistic, though.

If it's useful to refer to someone by his/her label, go ahead. If a label isn't necessary, though, think before you speak. Please.

Because my little friend is a sweet boy who you would love to know. When his momma looks at him, the first words that come to mind aren't "Down syndrome." If you stop at the definitions given by his disabilities, you might miss out on all the sweetness that his momma sees. You might miss out his "integrity (worth)...as a human being," a worth that was created by the same Creator who made the other kids you know and love.

Let him be a kid, first and foremost.

the biblical basis for special needs ministry

(I have a new post that I'm really proud of at The Works of God Displayed. Below is a teaser; check out the full post here.)

Earlier today I posted this on Twitter at @specialneedsmin: New post coming today on verses that lay out why a church that loves Christ must also be one that loves people w/ special needs.

I struggled a bit with the word must there. Should it be should as in "a church that loves Christ should also be one that loves people w/ special needs," instead? Is must too strong or legalistic to use here?

No.

Here's why... (read the rest here!)