What's it all about?

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Special needs ministry isn't primarily about civil rights or political correctness or pity or awareness or education.

It's about Jesus.

For example, it's Autism Awareness Month. Given that the current estimate is that 1 in 110 children have an autism spectrum disorder (source: CDC, among others) - and about 1 in 70 boys - we all need to be aware of what autism is, what it means for families, and ways that we can minister to and with people with autism. There are fantastic posts on ministry- and disability-related sites about those things this month. And there are some coming here in the near future as well.

However, if every church leader learns about autism and if every person in the pew (or, at my current church, chairs) learns about autism, that wouldn't be sufficient. We can become like Bart Ehrman, religious studies professor who teaches New Testament at my alma mater, who knows lots of facts about the Bible and church history but rejects it all as false and identifies himself as an agnostic. 

Simply learning about disabilities and special needs isn't enough. Knowledge doesn't change us. Loving people, as Jesus did and does, changes us and others. 

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. {1 Corinthians 13:2, ESV}

If I can convince leaders in my church to remove every mountain that serves as a barrier to ministry to and with people with special needs, that won't be enough. Changes could be made out of duty or obligation or even just a desire to get me to stop bugging them.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. {John 13:34-35}

The new commandment Christ gives isn't "create programs." It isn't "remove barriers." It's not even "include one another."

Love one another.

And while effective special needs ministry does bring awareness and education, that's not the hallmark of what we do or the end goal. It's about the gospel. It's about love.

It's about Jesus.

Wordless Wednesday: teaching Anglos how to bust a pinata

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We have pinatas at our birthday parties in Dinglefest land. I lived on the Mexican border for the two years before Lee and I got married, and as such, it just wouldn't seem right to celebrate without busting one open.

Granted, you don't find pinatas like this where we live now!


Now that's what I call a pinata! Maybe I need to bring one back the next time we go down there...

Oops, I just remembered that this was supposed to be a wordless post. Just pictures, no words. Hmm.

I never did follow directions well. Did you ever have to take that trick test in school, the one with a gazillion items to answer, but the instructions tell you to read over the whole test before beginning? And if you get to the end, it says "write your name at the top and turn it in without answering the other questions." Yeah, I took the whole test. More than once.

(My best friend also tried to convinced me three times when we were kids that the word "gullible" wasn't in the dictionary, and each time I got the dictionary out to prove her wrong before I realized that the joke was on me. Yes, three times. Hmm, maybe I should have kept this post wordless to avoid admitting that.)

So, without further ado, the pictures of my Anglo kids and their friends destroying the dragon (which seemed to be a fitting choice for a princess & pirate birthday party!).







(And, in the background of this next one, I believe Dan is doing the traditional parenting test known as smell-if-a-change-is-needed.)







The dragon was not yet slain, but we all know that removing the wings is a good first step. Well done, HK!




I didn't get a picture of the bust moment, but here are a few post-pinata shots.



And I think we can all agree that a dragon's head on a pirate's hook is far less disturbing than last year's decapitated Dora.


on showing grace to others (and a confession of a time when I didn't)

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While I'm writing this post with a special needs ministry slant, it's a much broader issue of Christian community that isn't rooted in any one ministry area. It's about love and compassion and sincerity. It's about knowing who we are and whose we are and acting on that knowledge.

So what is it?

Showing grace to one another, including ourselves.

Here's an example from a special needs ministry conference I attended: In one session, a woman was sitting in front of me who seemed jovial enough as we started. Then, throughout the session, she made seemingly incessant comments to the presenter.

Now, please understand that my church in South Texas was of the old school, Southern Baptist variety in which a hearty "amen!" was not inappropriate to call out from time to time. (Granted, as a gal with backgrounds in Moravian, Lutheran, and Episcopalian churches, I never called out, but I was not uncomfortable with those who did!) Therefore, the first few affirming comments from the woman didn't bother me, but as the session progressed, I found myself getting more and more annoyed.

It wasn't until the presenter glanced my way as I was fully rolling my eyes that I realized the absurdity of it: here I was, as a special needs ministry coordinator, at a special needs ministry conference, with my panties in a bunch because someone else dared to act in a different way from me.

Could the woman have had a disability, something like ADHD or Asperger's? Possibly. Or maybe not. Maybe she was just tired and found it easier to stay engaged if she did so verbally. Maybe she thought she was encouraging the speaker. (And she might have been, because the presenter never seemed annoyed like I was.) Or maybe she was just incredibly friendly.

And me? I was a jerk.

Sure, I was tired. But I was also selfish and hypocritical and arrogant and condescending.

Instead of treating her behavior with grace and appreciating her input, I became irritated. And I wasn't even concerned about my rotten attitude until I thought that the presenter caught me rolling my eyes.

Thankfully, the woman in front of me didn't realize I was ever annoyed. But I'm glad God showed me how ugly my attitude was, because it did two things for me:

First, it helped me understand why some folks in the church can be resistant to special needs ministry. Worship (or simply learning) alongside someone who is different from us forces us to adapt. And sometimes it's easier to be selfish and hypocritical than compassionate and grace-filled

And, second, it allowed me the opportunity to show grace to myself. I can humbly acknowledge sinful attitudes in my life, confess them to God in repentance, and move on to the next thing He has in store without camping out in the land of shame.

And I can learn from it (and hopefully you can too!) so that next time I can be the one who is thankful for those who aren't like me, instead of irritated by them and their rightful inclusion in the body of Christ.

Five ways to make your church more inclusive

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I have found Amy Fenton Lee's blog to be incredibly helpful for special needs ministry know-how, and obviously the folks at specialchildren.about.com agreed, because they interviewed her. Several of you have shared with me that you want to start a special needs ministry or get more buy-in for an existing one, and this article that includes that interview - titled Five Ways to Make Your Church More Inclusive - is a fantastic resource for doing just that.

You'll need to follow the link to get the full content, but - in brief - Amy recommends:
  1. Sharing statistics. I did this to invest our leaders, and I'll be posting later this week about some useful statistics as well as some flawed one that are used, abused, and oft repeated even though they aren't accurate.
  2. Providing role models. It definitely helps to be able to share what other churches are doing.
  3. Help church leaders network. The concept of segregated church buildings and denominations that exist in isolation from one another isn't found anywhere in the Bible. Our church hosted Joy Prom, a massive event for adults with special needs, for several years before we began sharing the event with other churches. Now we hold it one year, and then a different church hosts it the next year. I love being involved with it, so a part of me is sad that Joy Prom isn't at our church this year. But I'm so excited for our friends down the road, that their church gets to experience it too and that we can sharpen, refine, and support one another in our efforts!
  4. Narrow your focus. This one is the hardest for me, but it is so very true. I want to do everything at once. But I can't. Feel free to keep a parking lot of ideas where you park those longer-term vision and action steps, but decide what one or two things you're doing now. 
  5. Suggest helpful resources. This is a big step too, because I've found that some folks are scared to do special needs ministry because they simply don't know what to do or how to do it and they don't want to fail. (And this ties back to number three, because other church leaders are key resources for you!)
For those of you who are just starting out, which step is the hardest for you?

And, whether you're new to special needs ministry or not, what's your narrowed focus right now? In other words, what's - to use Amy's words - the "one change that would make the biggest impact on families with special needs" at your church? (I'll be sharing the answer to that for our church later this week!)