Let us not grow weary of doing good {Galatians 6:9-10}

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

Galatians 6:9-10

Fridays from the Families: Contributing with a disability

While I have written some personal posts here about minor degree of physical impairment I experience due to rheumatoid arthritis, this is the first guest post I've had that is written by an individual with a disability. (I'm sticking with "Fridays from the Families," though, because I like alliteration!) If you asked me to describe Lucy - even though I've only met her online - I would probably mention her writing ability and authenticity and love for Jesus and sense of humor...and then maybe add, as an afterthought, "oh, and she has a hearing impairment too." 

On her blogger profile, she describes herself with these words: "I am hard of hearing and loud of mouth. I'm thankful God's grace is sufficient for both." (As for me? I'm just loud of mouth, but I am thankful for grace from God and others about that!) Lucy - who blogs at To Live Quietly - will be joining us here again later this summer to talk about specific things the church can do to welcome people with hearing loss or deafness, but today's is a repost from her old blog. She wrote a five-part series about disability, and today's post was the final one in that series. I've included links to the other ones - and a couple other posts of hers that I love - at the end of this post. 

And, now, enjoy this post from Lucy...

All week long I've been talking about what the church can and needs to do for those with disabilities. But as with most things in life, it's a two-way street, you know. Those of us who do live with disabilities cannot just stand around, waiting to be served. My friend Carin commented on one of my earlier posts and I thought she made a great point:

"Disabled" people also need to get involved and do things they are gifted and able to do. ... [W]e who are viewed as "disabled" have a responsibility to become involved and serve as well. And it need not be only in the area of our "disability" as you said. For example, as a deaf person, I am still able to serve my church family in many ways - not only the deaf - but my CHURCH FAMILY (all of them!). There are some things that I am not able to do well because of my hearing loss, but there are many other things I CAN do to serve. I need to do some of them and not just sit back with the attitude that "oh I am deaf..."

People with disabilities are often just as guilty of perpetuating division within the church by demanding this service or that accommodation, or by sequestering themselves with people who are like them. I know that sometimes I am tempted to think that because I have a disability that my suffering is more unbearable than someone else's, or that I am worthy of more attention because of it. But that is not true at all. Disabled or not, we are all sinners in need of a Savior and ought to serve one another in light of that truth. When I look at a brother or sister, I shouldn't see their able bodies and be jealous or angry; instead, I should see someone who needs Christ just as much as I do. The cross is an equalizer in that there is no room for superiority or inferiority in the Body - we are all disabled in soul before the Lord.

Something else that I'm tempted to do is to claim that I have nothing to contribute to the Body or that I'm worthless to serve because I can't hear everything. But when I do that, I buy into the lie that hearing loss defines me instead of embracing the truth that the gospel does. It's true that I can't hear everything and that there will just be some areas where I cannot serve. For example, you'll never see me help lead worship and I'd be reluctant to work at the information desk. I see so many people with disabilities just not contribute because they focus so much on what they can't do, or maybe they're missing all the things they used to be able to do and now suddenly can't. And at the heart of it is a pride issue; we want to do what we want to do and are angry that our efforts are hampered. Isn't God faithful, though? He doesn't let us slip through the cracks and He certainly doesn't put us out of commission just because our ears or legs or eyes stop working. To say that we have nothing to offer because of our disability is like saying that disability has more power than God, that the Almighty could somehow be crippled by our weakness. Puh-leez.

Having a disability does not excuse us from coming alongside of our brothers and sisters, to weep when they weep, to rejoice when they rejoice. My hearing loss does not let me off the hook to make meals when a family welcomes a new baby, help coordinate childcare, hand out worship guides, pitch in with cleanup, be kind to people, love them as Jesus does and offer a listening heart. It's true that I can't do everything, but I can trust that the Lord will equip me to do the things that He has called me to do - for my good and His glory. And so often, we expect that God has a special job just for us and that disability has somehow thwarted that plan, but that's presumptuous. God is, I think, less concerned with exactly what it is we are doing and far more concerned with how we are doing it. There are no loopholes in Micah 6:8 - abled or disabled, the decree is the same:

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

Finally, those of us with disability need to remember that these are just temporary bodies. C.S. Lewis said, "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." Bodies with crooked spines and lifeless legs and silent eyes and damaged ears - they're just for now. Disability advocacy and raising awareness is a good thing, but it's not the most important thing. When we make disability the standard by which we live, we've missed the point. When we judge other people or churches based on whether or not they meet our needs, we're sinning. At the end of the day, the question is not, "Did the church serve my disability?" but, "Is Jesus my only hope?" Am I finding joy and fulfillment and completeness in the finished work of Christ and embracing the truth that His blood has already spoken for me, or am I basing who I am and what I think and how I act on how my body functions or doesn't function?

God is enough. And that's all I really wanted to say.


Amen to that! I think Lucy is great, in large part because she is constantly pointing to God's greatness rather than trying to exalt herself. I've tried to figure out a less cheesy way to say this, but I love Lucy. I really do. 

You can find the four posts that preceded this one on her old blog at the links below, and you can find Lucy at To Live Quietly. Thanks for letting me share this, Lucy!
Defining disability - Part 1
The kinship of disability - Part 2
A proper response to disability - Part 3
Learning from disability - Part 4
And while they aren't part of the series, these posts are also worth reading: Why I'm Not Deaf and Train's Gone, Juan (both of which provide great explanations of Deaf/deaf culture).

Studying Sardis: Waking up and taking the next step

Yesterday I wrote about Laodicea; today I’d like to back up a few verses to check out the way the church in Sardis is described.

I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. {Revelation 3:1b-2}

While you ponder that, consider what Dr. Erik W. Carter shares on page 7 of Including People with Disabilities in Faith Communities,

LaRocque and Eigenbrood (2005) surveyed 91 Christian, Jewish, and Muslim congregations about how accessible they were for people with disabilities. Most reported being only in the very early stages of increasing their accessibility. For example, although 71% of congregations said general awareness of barriers to the participation of children and adults existed in their faith community, 69% of congregations reported that they had not yet started or were only getting started at transforming their community “into a place where children and adults with disabilities are welcomed, fully included, and treated with respect” (p. 60). Furthermore, only 53% of congregations said that they were well on their way to increasing the participation of people with disabilities in their congregation and only 28% had explored partnerships with community agencies and organizations serving people with disabilities.

Consider the implications of that. Nearly 30% of religious congregations don’t even have a general awareness of barriers to including people with special needs. More than half were doing nothing about it or just getting started. Less than a third had reached out to those in the community with more expertise.

Granted, that research wasn’t just limited to Christian congregations, but it’s worth considering nonetheless (particularly because so little research is available about religious life and disabilities).
Now look back at Christ’s words to the church in Sardis:

I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. {Revelation 3:1b-2}

What do you think He would have to say about our reputation? Let’s become a church – in the broad sense – that strengthens what remains and is about to die. For some churches, that might mean stepping up our efforts to fully welcome and include people with special needs. For others, it may be starting something new because no efforts have been made yet.

Whatever that next step is, do it. Wake up. Strengthen what remains and is about to die.

Be alive.

Learning from Laodicea: No condescending attitudes

When I consider the church in Laodicea, the first word that comes to mind usually is “lukewarm.” However, the next verse after Christ calls that church out as neither hot than cold is also worth knowing:

For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. {Revelation 3:17}

Special needs ministry isn’t done with condescension. It isn’t meant to exalt the helpers and pity the helped. It’s not even meant to separate folks into those two groups, because it should be ministry with others not ministry to others.

When I see the prideful attitude of “oh, look at what a good thing I’m doing” in someone involved in this ministry or any other ministry – and when I see that pride in myself – I need the reminder that I’m not serving “the least of these;” I am the least of these. I’m not rich, prosperous, and complete; I am wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.

I am thankful for the opportunity to serve alongside some sweet friends with disabilities. And I am thankful that God allows me to do so.

Messy advocacy vs. partnerships

Since I began this blog just over three months ago, I've come across a couple news reports about churches turning away families who have children with special needs. This is a tough topic to address, but it's worth discussing. Before I dive in, though, I want to make a few things clear:

• I have no first-hand knowledge of any of these instances. I don't even know any of the church leaders or families involved in any of these stories. That is why I am choosing not to link to any news articles.
• All news has some bias. No two reporters would write the same article in the same way. Bias isn't always a bad thing, but it's wise to remember that the writer's experiences and opinions and culture influence his or her writing. The concept of bias in media is usually frowned upon; meanwhile, I think it's naive to expect any writer to be bias-free.
• In almost every instance like the ones I'll be discussing, the church usually issues statements while the families sit down for interviews. This set-up lends itself easily to sympathy toward the family, because they are seen as people, and blame toward the church, because it is seen as the big, bad institution. 
• Sometimes the church has failed. Sometimes the families have perceived insults where none exist. Sometimes it's been a mix of each. And sometimes the whole situation is unclear. Unless we have first-hand knowledge, we can't know what exactly occurred.

 If this post seems more raw than many of my others, that's because I'm still working through the best way to respond. I've held my tongue (or, as a blogger, should I say "held my fingers?") until now, but I feel like it would be timid to avoid the subject altogether, given that I blog about the church's responsibility to welcome individuals with special needs.

As I'm wrestling with this, here are a few takeaways. I'd love to know what else you've taken away from news reports of this nature, so please leave a comment!

• Churches need to be mindful that families with special needs have often been judged, hurt, looked down on, ignored, mocked, and pitied. Because of that, consider how much compassion you would show any other family in a similar situation, and then dial it up five notches.
• Good parenting involves advocating for your kids. When a child has special needs, this is even more true. Parents of kids with special needs often have to advocate for health care and social opportunities and education and acceptance and a whole slew of other needs. Advocacy often become a way of life out of necessity. 
• Effective ministry leaders partner with parents so that their children may hear the gospel and treasure Christ. The best outcomes I've seen involve friendly churches partnering with parents who advocate well for their children with special needs.
• Advocacy can backfire if it becomes adversarial. In solid church + home partnerships, it's not advocacy against something. It's mutual advocacy for the child and the family and the church. If either side becomes adversarial, the outcome will be messy.
• God is for the church, and God is for the family. He created both as institutions for his glory and our good. He is an advocate for both. That's why the best scenarios are ones in which the church advocates for the family and the family advocates for the church, with both motivated by the God who created each. That's a true partnership, rather than messy advocacy from either party.

We live in a fallen world. You can find sin in churches and families and media outlets. And thank God that we can find solace from sin in Christ. In Christ, we have hope that we will have a perfect, sinless reality in heaven, one that far exceeds the world in which we live now. But the prayer "thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven" teaches us that we shouldn't just shrug and accept the fallen world as if we can do nothing but hope for the other side of eternity. As we pray "thy kingdom come," what would that look like for the church and the family when a family whose child has special needs arrives at any given church this Sunday?

As I said earlier, I'm still wrestling with what we should learn from all this, and I would love to know your thoughts. Do you agree with what I've put out here? Disagree or think I'm missing something? What have your thoughts been when you've heard news stories about churches turning away people with special needs?