Weekly round-up {7/4/11}

First, happy Independence Day (for my readers in the USA, that is)! I hope you enjoy your celebrations.

This sermon from John Piper, one of my favorite preachers and writers, isn't about disabilities. It's about interracial marriage. But think these words of his in light of either, and you'll understand why I'm including it in this week's round-up:

Christians are people who move toward need and truth and justice, not toward comfort and security. Life is hard. But God is good. And Christ is strong to help.

In a church or in a neighborhood, it hurts to be faced with harsh words (or even just thoughtless ones) and lack of understanding about what life with special needs is like.

At churches around the country, I've seen new pieces this week about churches hosting or serving at a basketball league for kids with autism and a biking camp for kids with Down syndrome or autism. Doesn't it warm your heart to see options for such a typical summer activity - camp! - made available through churches to kids with special needs?!? And, on those lines, here's an article about a new special needs playground in Huntsville, Alabama, which is the hometown of one of my best friends; I'll be checking it out the next time I'm there!

And this piece by my friend Jared at Sojourn Kids highlights my church's curriculum, Treasuring Christ, and how it can be used for kids with special needs: Advantages of a unified curriculum for children with special needs

I liked seeing that this special needs resource company understands that churches might need resources too. I have no doubts that they could be using this as a way to sell more products, but it's a promising sign of church engagement with the special needs community if companies are viewing us as a potential market.

I generally find good stuff at The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism. This article is no exception to that: Unfriendly Consequences: What Competition for Limited Resources Does to the Autism Community and Autism Families

And grab your tissues before you mosey over to this post by Jessica at four plus an angel. It's called No Words, and it's about the child with autism who was ministered to finding ways to minister to another. And it's precious.

And, finally, if you haven't seen this featured issue of the Today webzine, with a focus on special needs ministry, by the Evangelical Free Church in America, check it out. It's so good, and it includes pieces from Connie Hutchinson, who is the Director of Disabilities Ministry at First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, California and who I heard speak at the Accessibility Summit this past spring, and her daughter, who eloquently expresses her desire - as a woman with Down syndrome - to be included in ministry.

Is it not I, the Lord? {Exodus 4:11}

Then the Lord said to him, 

“Who has made man's mouth? 

Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? 

Is it not I, the Lord?"

Exodus 4:11

{see the whole passage here}

Fridays from the Families: A couple more interviews between John Piper and John Knight

A month ago, I posted about John Knight and included a couple videos of his family. Since that post, two more interviews have been made available between John Knight and his pastor, John Piper.

Two thoughts before I put them up:

1. I don't typically like videos. For years before I started this blog, I had (and still have) a family blog, and many of my other mommy blogger friends like to post videos of their kids. Confession: I almost never watch them. And when friends post youTube videos on Facebook or other places, I skip over those posts. I might watch music-related ones, but otherwise it's usually a no. So, as someone who doesn't care for online videos, it's a big deal for me to recommend three (the one earlier and now two more) that are each about 20 minutes long.
2. If you've read this blog for a while now, you know that I admire John Piper and John Knight. I'd like to clarify, though, that while these men are heroes of mine, they are not the Hero. The respect I have for them comes from their willingness to point to God in all circumstances, not to themselves or their experiences. God is faithful, and I am thankful for men (and women and children) who regularly point me to Him.

And, now, here are videos two and three of the interviews:





And, if you'd like to read more from John Knight, please head to his blog. It is always helpful and encouraging to me.

the post that my son might not appreciate someday

When you have a son and a daughter, particularly when the daughter is older than the son, it's a good idea to let her know proactively what the rules are for playing dress-up with her brother.

Yes, he's crying. One day he'll tell people that he was crying because his sister had the gall to put him in a dress.

On that day, you can decide for yourself whether to let him run with that story or to share the truth.

You see, the sobbing began when I started to take the dress off.

And he cried, "Nooooooooooooo, Mommy, I playing dress up with Jocy. Jocy say I priiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitty!"

Yes, this is a typical day in our house. And I love it.

Endless supply of laughter!

Behavior is communication {5 tips for responding}

An individual's behavior is part of his communication system, especially if a disability limits traditional forms of communication. Consider this excerpt from a children's chapter book I read aloud this week to my young daughter:

"I don't want to go back to school," she told Cory. "Miss Hall is mean and scary. I don't want to stand in the corner.

Cory shook his head.

"You got it all wrong, Andi," he said. "Miss Hall is nice...Sending you to the corner is the worst thing she'll ever do."

Cory's voice changed to a whisper. "Don't tell Miss Hall, but I like the corner. It's right next to the window. I can see a lot out there."

Andi's eyes opened wide at this news. "You like standing in the corner?

Cory nodded. "Sometimes I get tired of doing lessons. Then I act up, so I can go look out the window."

The teacher thought she was disciplining Cory by sending him to the corner; instead, she was giving him exactly what he wanted. By his misbehavior, he was saying, Please let me go stand in the corner and look out the window! Because the teacher didn't understand his behavioral communication, she didn't change the consequence to a less desirable one that may have actually deterred him. Meanwhile, for a different child - Andi - the idea of standing in a corner was enough to steer her clear of breaking the rules, which is a good reminder that we should consider each person as an individual not as a label or category.

But the teacher could have done even better than just making the consequence less desirable. She could have made the desired behavior easier for Cory as well. If he needed frequent breaks to refocus his attention, for example, she could have proactively prevented the misbehavior by targeting the behaviors/circumstances (also called antecedents) preceding and leading up to it.

What are the individuals in your ministry communicating by their behavior? These steps might help:

1. Identify the behavior.
2. List everything that happens just before the undesired behavior. After a few incidents, you'll probably find a common antecedent (such as the behavior occurs each time you're doing an activity that the person doesn't like or it happens shortly after you enter a certain room or it doesn't begin until about five minutes into storytime). This could help with the next step.
3. Consider what the individual might be communicating with that behavior (such as I'm bored or The lights are bothering me or I can only pay attention for five minutes and then I get distracted).
4. Figure out one thing you can change to respond to that behavioral communication (respective to the examples above, some might be use more multi-sensory teaching strategies, incorporating visual, auditory, and hands on aspects or use lamps instead of florescent lights/move to a room with different lighting or teach in multiple shorter segments of time rather than one long block).
5. Make the change for at least three weeks and see how if the individual's behavior changes. If so, continue. If not, start back at the beginning, and don't be discouraged. Even experts in behaviorism have to do a little trial and error to figure this stuff out.

Here's an example: One child with multiple disabilities at our church was spitting at his helpers and occasionally at other children and inanimate objects. This is a major behavioral issue because of sanitary concerns, which made it a high priority for us to address. Eventually we realized that he did it on Sundays when his mother passed him off to a helper in the hall instead of bringing him to the room (we suspect that he felt like we were taking him away from mom in the hallway, whereas he felt like she was giving him to us at the classroom) and when he only had male helpers (which made sense because his dad isn't around and he seems to trust women more than men). Now that we've established drop-off procedures and paired him with female volunteers, the problem is mostly resolved.

We could have just written off his behavior as bad or difficult to manage or too unsanitary. Instead, by treating it as communication, we were able to work with his mom to figure out what he was trying to tell us and adapt accordingly. And, as a result, this family is able to be engaged at our church. Praise God!

How about you? Do you have any examples like that one? Could you share them below to benefit all of us?

Or do you have any tough behavioral situations you're working through in your ministry? If so, share those too, and we can support one another in troubleshooting. Please - out of respect and love - remember to maintain confidentiality by not using names or using fake names and by not disclosing other information that could identify the individuals in question.