the first 3 questions for a church-based respite outreach event

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I'll be posting this week and next about our Access Ministry room and this past weekend's respite event. Before we can dive into the details of our respite care event and the tips I have for launching respite at your church, let's address the preliminaries...

What are the first three questions you need to answer for a church-based respite outreach event?

Before I get to those, though, let's define a few terms:
  • church-based: I'm talking about the local church, which might but doesn't necessarily include members who are specially trained to work with people who have disabilities
  • respite: Merriam-Webster's second definition of this word is fitting here: "an interval of rest or relief." In the special needs community, this is a period of time in which care is provided for the person with a disability so that the caregiver can have the gift of time. If we were talking about kids without disabilities, we would call it a parents' night out. Respite can be overnight or longer, but almost all church-based or -supported respite events last no more than a few hours.
  • outreach: In Raleigh, NC, I only know two churches that offer respite care: ours and one other. The other church limits their respite event to regular church attendees. The respite events at our church, though, are for our members as well as other families in our community. Because of an odd combination of illnesses and extended family visiting from out of town, none of our members were able to attend this past weekend, so all of our guests were families who had never come to our church before Saturday afternoon.
Now that we've defined those terms, I bet you'd like to know those three important questions. Here they are, in no particular order:
(1) How will you keep your guests safe?
(2) How will you keep your guests safe?
(3) How will you keep your guests safe?

Yes, you want all of your guests to have fun. I'll be posting about that too. But if your event is fun and not safe, you'll be a one-hit wonder. Or, actually, a one-fail wonder. Parents and caregivers of those with disabilities are more savvy and knowledgeable than most other parents I know. They won't trust us with their children if we can only offer promises of fun. They will (rightfully) want to know first if the event will be safe.

I'll get into the finer details of each of these in future posts, but you need to be prepared with:
  • a policy and plan to prevent a volunteer from ever being alone with a child
  • an intake form to learn the information you need to know to care for each child safely
  • a medical form (if not included in your intake form) that allows your church to have the authority to take medical action on behalf of the family if an accident or other medical emergency arises
  • background check forms to screen your volunteers
  • elopement plans (i.e. how will you keep children from wandering off or running away?)
  • bathroom/toileting/diaper changing policy
  • medical professionals for the event (could be volunteer or paid)
  • at least 1 volunteer per child with a disability and enough volunteers beyond that for their siblings
  • a plan for managing food allergies and other special dietary needs
  • a safe check-in procedure
I don't provide this list to scare you. I will have posts related to each to equip you. I just want to be clear before I offer any of that: if you are not ready to plan for each child's safety, then you're simply not ready to even begin thinking about offering respite. It isn't rocket science. It isn't unduly challenging. It isn't too hard.

But it is work, and it does require planning. I'd love to help you learn more. Come back tomorrow for tips for each of these safety measures.

Special needs ministry weekly round-up! {10-3-11}

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Our respite event went well on Saturday, and I'll be writing more about that this week. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement! 

As another update, I have an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday to figure out what we need to do next for my knee. Pain abounds, but God's grace abounds even more.

And on to the weekly round-up...

Nella Uitvlugt, director of Friendship Ministries, has been instrumental in paving the way for not only the acceptance but also the inclusion of people with disabilities in the church. I've never interacted with her personally, but this profile of her, published by the Grand Rapids Press, makes me want to do so.

On a similar note, I've never met Emily Colson, and while Dancing with Max is on my "to read" list, I haven't gotten around to it yet. This post by Jeneil at Rhema's Hope, though, makes me want to. Plus it shows how God orchestrates connections among us for his glory and our good.

I linked to a previous post in this series last week, and here's another post from Dr. Steve Grcevich with some great tips for dealing with aggressive behaviors in children's ministry.

One of Kevin DeYoung's articles on The Gospel Coalition, Some Thoughts on Ministering to the Sick and Dying, wasn't written specifically for special needs, but some disabilities do include sickness and some parallels can be found between his topic and that of ministering to a family with a new diagnosis because those families may be experiencing the death of some of the dreams they had for their child.

I think you'll find this interesting, from Christianity Today, thoughts on how and if the church should try to minimize distractions.

Wonder where the kids with special needs go at your church in the fall and winter? This post from Parker's momma about what happens when Parker gets sick might help you understand why disability ministry attendance may drop at this time of year.

Nothing like the Church: This article on Ligonier Ministries website reminds us why the church matters and why it's just not okay to exclude people with special needs in hopes that they will find their own connection with Christ away from church.
Why, Yes! Families of Kids with Special Needs Can Be Happy: Great post by one of my favorite special needs momma bloggers, Ellen.

The Average Christian's Letter to the Hurting: People with disabilities aren't the only ones who are often overlooked at church. People in all demographics are hurting; do we respond with the love Christ first showed us, or do we respond with the letter in this post?

Churches doing special needs ministry in the news this week include...
Keep praying for more churches to demonstrate that the gospel is great enough to surpass our boundaries of ability or disability. In a story about sports for youth with disabilities, I found these paragraphs (emphasis mine):
It was especially meaningful for Margaret since her son, Hunter Heath, was born with Fragile X syndrome, a genetic condition that is the most common form of inherited intellectual disability in boys and a leading cause of autism.
Hunter, who is now 16, has the cognitive ability of a 3-year-old. He is unable to effectively communicate or participate in extracurricular activities outside his special education classes at school.
“Buddy Ball was exciting because it brought a sense of normalcy to our family,’’ Margaret said. “We are pretty much confined, like prisoners in our own home. We’ve even been asked to leave some churches because we were told there was nothing they could offer Hunter. This was a chance for him to get out and participate in something with other children.’’
Pray that Hunter and others would have a place in your church.

Has the church disabled itself?

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Yesterday I had the privilege of guest posting on Diving for Pearls, the blog-child of Katie Wetherbee. Katie is my online ministry BFF, and she's my sounding board for all things Access Ministry. You'll find the beginning of that post below.

~+~

Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.”

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped; then shall the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy. For waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. (Isaiah 35:3-6)

This post isn’t going to be about what you think it will be. It’s not about people with disabilities.

It’s about a church that has disabled itself.

Please don’t get me wrong. I love the church...

(Please keep reading the rest of the post over on Katie's blog. And come back and leave a comment!)

Four reasons I am thankful for our special needs ministry team

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In disability ministry, we are regularly faced with the reality that God is sovereign in ways that we can't always see, understand, or explain. As such, it is foolhardy to create a ministry that requires your presence.

This is more acutely on my mind right now as I rest my knee and await my appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. My MRI showed an uncommon friction syndrome in my right knee that is difficult to treat and heal, complicated by bone erosions and cartilage damage due to rheumatoid arthritis. I'm not sure what the next steps will be but the current treatment involves rest, ice, and pain meds. And we have our first respite care event this Saturday afternoon. 

If I didn't have an amazing team and a trustworthy God, I might be freaking out right now. But I know God is in control, and I know that I can trust any member of our leadership team to run the event if I couldn't be there. Why?
  1. Because they are each passionate that this matters. I don't think I can claim responsibility for that passion, but I do begin most planning meetings with a verse and a story or statistic to stress the importance of what we're doing. It helps us all remember that we're not just putting on an event; we're loving these families because Christ first loved us.
  2. Because they know what's going on. We've made decisions together. I've filled them in on ones I've had to make without them. The youngest member of our team - who is still in high school - has been valued as much as those of us with more qualifications on paper. Each of us has a slightly different job this Saturday, but we each know the roles of the other team members. With the exception of our medical team leader, we could rotate jobs without much difficulty.
  3. Because I trust them and they know that I trust them. We're not an incredibly experienced team when it comes to church event planning. The average age of the six of us is 25. We're all young enough that we're not the typical go-to folks for steering committees. But each of our team members lives up to these words from 1 Timothy 4:12: "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."
  4. Because nothing we do is designed around any person other than Jesus Christ. I have seen many ministries flourish under their founders' leadership and then disintegrate when he or she steps away because no plans were made for anyone else to lead. Disability ministry is too important for me to let that happen. Additionally, the limitations of two chronic illnesses keep me mindful that I need to plan for days when I can't be 100%. If I need to direct our respite event on Saturday from a chair, it will go just fine because it doesn't depend on me. It's not about me. "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)
None of the families in our ministry expected to have a family member with a disability, but God ordained disability to be part of their lives anyway. Likewise, you have expectations for your ministry and your life...and God might, in His wisdom, change those without your permission. 

Access Ministry at Providence Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC, does not depend on me. I'm not in charge; God is. I just get the privilege of having a front-row seat to watch what God is doing to impact families in this ministry, and I'm humbled by the opportunities He provides that allow me to be involved in His work.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you 
not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, 
but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function,  
so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:3-5