Why I don't like the saying, "God never gives you more than you can handle"



Two days ago, I had the privilege of guest posting at supportforspecialneeds.com. I am thankful that Julia gave me the opportunity to do so, but the question she posed was not an easy one: "Do you have a spiritual perspective on why children have disabilities? Does God choose particular children/parents?" Here's the beginning of my response and a link to the full post:



I am bothered by cute little quips like “God never gives you more than you can handle.”

Not only is that sound bite found nowhere in the Bible, but it also portrays a weird image of God. That saying makes it sound like God is a sort of cupid, taking aim with his bow and pausing each time to consider, “Hmm, is she strong enough? No, not at all. I’ll let her continue to live a blissfully easy life… but, ooh, that one. He is strong enough. Let me grab the arrow labeled ‘have a disabled child’ and shoot it straight at him…”


To read the rest, click here

And if any of you want to read my friend Katie's post on the same topic, you can find it here.

Thank you, Julia, for inviting me to share a Christian perspective on disability!

And the winner for Different Dream Parenting is...


Barbara, I'll be in touch to get your address, and your copy will be in the mail THIS WEEK!

If you didn't win, I do recommend that you buy a copy. It's currently $8.72 at Amazon* (though prices change often there, so check for yourself!). Here's the review I wrote if you'd like to learn more about the book.

And here's another picture of my two sweet helpers, Jocelyn and her handsome assistant Robbie. (Yep, that's what happens when you tell a four year old to smile!) She put all the cards with names in her pony bag and then covered it all with her Cinderella blanket "so I can't even peek and cheat when I pick, Mommy!" Nevermind that she can't read and that she doesn't know anyone who entered. :)


Congrats, Barbara! I know it will bless your ministry.


*The Amazon link above is an affiliate page that will allow a portion of the sales for this book (or anything else you buy during that shopping session) to go to my friend Sandra to help offset the cost of her son's therapies and supplements for autism. Amazon does not offer its affiliates program to residents of North Carolina, which means I can't benefit from it, but I *can* use affiliate links from my friends in the special needs community to let you provide for some of their needs while you shop!

a follow-up: a few last thoughts on disability and heaven

Will any aspect of what we know as "disability" exist in heaven? I wrote three posts about that topic last week, but one comment deserved a post and not just a comment in response. Before I blog about that, though, here are the posts from last week:
In response to the last post, I had several comments, one specific that I wanted to respond to here:
I would have to disagree with this author's conclusion. In the Bible we are told in Phil 3:20-21 "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself." This is one of a few passages I believe there are that say we will have a new and glorified body in heaven. To me, this means that we will have bodies unaffected by sin. Bodies on this earth have disabilities BECAUSE of sin (the fall of man with Adam and Eve). Some of the people this blog quoted as saying "God didn't make a mistake with my daughter having [insert disability here]- they are right, God did not make the mistake. It was the genetic code or neural connections when the body was being formed that make the mistake. And why? Again, because of sin entering the world. Are these people telling me that if there had been no original sin, physical and mental disabilities STILL would have eventually existed? I doubt that is so.
I'm thankful for this comment, because it has several points worth discussing. First, it was an oversight not to include those verses in my first three posts on this topic. We do know from those verses that we'll have new, glorified bodies in heaven, and while we don't know exactly what the differences will be between the "lowly body" and our transformed ones, we know God is good and perfect in all he does.

I don't think, though, that the transformation from a lowly body to a glorified one would absolutely require for every aspect of every disability to be scrubbed away. His glorification could be just as much about changing the rest of us and our culture to include people who are not of the same tribe or tongue or label as changing them to fit better with us.

When I picture heaven, for example, we're all speaking English. Why? Because I speak English now as my native and primary language. Does that mean we'll all speak English in heaven? No, it just means that my current context is affecting how I picture heaven. I think it could also be that our current context of people without disabilities can affect how we think about disability.

I do think, though, that we will all be "able" in heaven. Disabled, in the meaning "not able," won't exist because glorified bodies are all able. However, could someone with a social disability that is disabling in our current culture be more able in the society of heaven that isn't looking down on, insulting, or excluding that person? It's worth considering.

As far as using the sin/fallen world argument, I agree that original sin - which has resulted in each one of us continuing that cycle, as all of us have sinned and fallen short of God's glory - is the reason for suffering today. However, I don't think it's right to say that disabilities are the direct result of sin. Suffering, yes. But not all parts of a disability induce suffering. When Christ was asked in John 9 by his disciples, "who sinned that this man is blind, him or his parents?" Christ didn't say, "Well, actually, Adam and Eve did, which set into motion a fallen state in the world and that's why this dude can't see." (Obviously, the "dude" part wouldn't have been in the King James version.) No, he said that it occurred that the works of God might be displayed in the man. Yes, it could be that Christ was pointing toward the eventual healing of the man later in that chapter, but even so, he discounted the sin reason for disability in his response.

I'm not saying that I think disability will exist in heaven. And I'm not saying it won't either. I'm just saying that this is a conversation worth having, and I'm thankful that anonymous commenter joined in the conversation.

Welcome to Holland movie clip

If you're not familiar with Emily Perl Kingsley's piece about disability, Welcome to Holland, then you've been missing out. It's an analogy comparing having a child with a disability with ending up in Holland on a trip planned for Italy. And, even if you have read Welcome to Holland before, you'll want to watch Tyne Daly in this clip from Kids Like Us - a CBS made-for-TV movie from 1987, also written by Kingsley - as she delivers it in a powerful way.

disability ministry weekly round-up {12-12-11}

Because of a two-week round trip over Thanksgiving and then our Christmas respite outreach event just a week after we returned, we didn't deck the hall with Christmas decor until yesterday. My momma's Episcopalian family never took their decorations down until Epiphany (January 6), a tradition we've adopted as well, so we'll still have a while to enjoy them! (Plus trees are cheap when you wait!) I am loving the holiday feel around our house now.

And on to this week's posts...

The Obsessive Joy of Autism: This post is fitting, given my series last week. It is helpful for us to realize that not all people with disabilities consider themselves to be suffering. This woman with autism loves the obsessive joy it brings. (Keep in mind that many families and individuals with disabilities are suffering and grieving too, so don't overgeneralize this to everyone. Just don't be surprised if what you think is suffering is perceived by another in a more positive light.)

Adopting a New Purpose: After the Clarks' daughter was born with Down syndrome, they felt called to parent more special-needs children I think the title says it all.

Sam Luce blogged last week about special needs ministry. He is a respected children's ministry leader who has many more readers than this blog, so I am thankful he has cast light on a ministry area I love. Here are his posts:
Six helps for suffering: I love me some Elisabeth Elliot. Short, sweet, and powerful.

Help Me Give An iPad to an Autistic Boy Karl Bastain, a children's pastor known online as the Kidologist, is raising money to give a boy from his church an iPad and apps, and he's asking his kidmin friends online to help.

Letting Ruth Go Get the Kleenex for this story about the death of one child with special needs, adopted from Uganda, and the Joni & Friends mission trip that allowed the parents to outfit another little girl from Uganda with their daughter's wheelchair.

Christmas form letters that should have been: 2005 I'll admit that last year, I fought to make our Christmas letter cheery. I was struggling with my health - literally struggling to even breathe with a nasty bout of pneumonia - but I wanted that annual update on our family to express a joy that I just wasn't feeling as I wrote it. This author of this post felt the same in 2005, as her daughter was in the process of being diagnosed with autism.

Those Closest to Us Hurt Us the Most | Raising a Child with Special Needs This article ties in with the previous one.

Giving a break to those who need it most I witnessed some of the richness of McLean Bible Church's Access Ministry at the Accessibility Summit conference last spring, but I didn't get to visit their respite care facility, Jill's House. This article profiles what they're doing, and I look forward to checking it out myself when I'm back at McLean to speak at this year's Accessibility Summit.

Pastor John ruined my morning A post from John Knight last week with a great video. Check it out!

Loving the 1% This isn't directly related to special needs ministry, but I think it is indirectly. Among those of us who are engaging in disability ministry, I sometimes witness an attitude that what we're doing is somehow more important than those serving in ministry to kids, teens, and adults who don't have disabilities. This post challenges
Are we ready to show grace to the greedy, corrupt business owner in the same way we show it to the drug-addicted prostitute? Are we ready to view the crooked politicians in the same way we view the inner-city gang members: as depraved sinners in need of a Savior? In our current cultural climate, it is very popular to hate the 1%. Are we ready to love them? Are we ready to serve them? Are we ready to give our lives to reach them? Jesus is.
And I'd like to add, "Are we ready to show love to all people, disabled or not?"

Special Families...A Casserole's Not Enough This booklet, by Jackie Mills-Fernald and Jim Pierson, can help churches love and support families affected by disability. Excellent.

Anxiety and the Child of Divorce: Kids whose parents are divorcing might not meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder, but they are experiencing anxiety nonetheless. This post is helpful.

Churches engaging in disability ministry: