honest and ugly, but grateful

Yesterday was a rough day. Basically, we were given hope last week that a large donation toward our adoption expenses would be coming in this week, and the actual amount turned out to be a fraction of what we had been expecting and felt that we had been promised. I went from thinking that most of our expenses were covered to realizing that we still have a long way to go. The "how to donate" post I had taken down last week in anticipation of the donation went back up.

It was hard. Tears were plentiful. 

The hardest part, though, was dealing with the ugliness of my emotions. When I read the Bible and see examples of God doing something huge for His people and then those same people doubting Him the next day or next month... well, it frustrates me. I think in disgust, "Seriously?!? Look at what God did for you, and your hearts shift from grateful to whiny in such a short time anyway? How fickle."

Well, my friends, that was me yesterday. God has been moving in huge ways in our lives in the past few weeks, and I was mad that He didn't move in the one way I wanted and expected. And instead of being thankful for the gift that was given, I was angry it wasn't more.

Yep, an attitude of entitlement is an ugly thing.

I share this because I want to be real and transparent. And because I want you to know that we are not perfect. Yes, we're being faithful in following God's will for our family all the way to Taiwan, but we are unfaithful daily in so many other ways. 

Today, I'm choosing gratitude. I'm choosing trust. I'm choosing faith.

Specifically, I'm thankful that in the last 24 hours:

• we did have the commitment of that donation
• we had a friend share with us that they're selling their third vehicle (valued about $7,000), hoping to get $5,000 for it, and planning to donate the entire sale amount to our adoption expenses (I'll be posting the details and pictures of the vehicle later this week!)
• a popular blogger in the disability community contacted me about donating a $50 Amazon gift card to our silent auction
• I confirmed March 22 as the night for our adoption fundraiser at Chick-fil-a at Falls Village (mark it on your calendars, Raleigh folks! more details coming soon!)
• I woke up to two new pictures of Zoe Amanda in my email inbox!

I'll have two posts later this week with info about donations and with practical needs we have, and - to be honest with you - I'm not looking forward to those posts. (I didn't even like asking my parents for money when I was in high school, and I find it even less fun to post about the financial aspect of adoption on this blog.) But I'm grateful that we have the opportunity to be blessed by the addition of Zoe Amanda to our family, so I'll do it. And I'll balance those out with a couple posts full of pictures and stories from our lives (like yesterday's post about Robbie's antics), as a way of making myself feel less guilty about asking for money.

And you know what? I'm looking forward to the day when the pages of this blog can be less about the nitty gritty adoption details and more about random thoughts from yours truly and reviews of books and pictures of our three children.

5 upcoming conferences with solid disability ministry content

rEcess training from 99balloons.org
Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas
Dates: March 2-3
Personal note: A couple resources I designed will be provided to attendees, and I can tell you that no disability ministry non-profit has impressed me more with their heart, passion, and gospel-centeredness than 99 Balloons. I also love that one part of the event is actually participating in a respite night!
Link for more info

Disability Ministry Expo 2012 (free!)
Location: College Heights Christian Church in Joplin, MO
Date: March 31
Link for more info, including recording from last year's conference

Accessibility Summit 
Location: McLean Bible Church in the D.C. area
Dates: April 20-21
Personal note: I attended last year, and this year I'll be presenting a session on Recruiting, Training, and Supporting Volunteers in Disability Ministry
Link for more info

Joni & Friends Through the Roof West Coast Disability Ministry Summit
Location: First Church of the Nazarene in Pasadena, California
Dates: May 18-19
Link for more info

D6 conference 2012: [Abide]
Location: Dallas-Frisco Embassy Suites Hotel, Convention Center & Spa
Dates: September 26-28
Personal note: I'll be presenting two pre-conference labs about disability ministry on September 26. The rest of the offerings aren't specific to special needs ministry but the entire conference is about family ministry and generational discipleship, which is at the heart of disability ministry in many ways.
Link for more info
Link for D6 days, which give you a glimpse of the conference online (TODAY, April 17, and July 24)


If you have any others you would recommend, leave a comment with the details!

little boys love mud

even the drywall compound variety. You see the white on the bed?

Well, we were repairing a hole behind little man's bed.

When he came downstairs saying, "Mommy, the goo. Oh, no. The goo," I knew the outcome probably wasn't going to be good!

Thankfully, he only managed to get it on his hands - not even his beloved dinosaur clothing, thank goodness! - and the plastic parts of his bed. It all cleaned up just fine!

Silly little boy.

disability ministry weekly round-up {2-20-12}

Amazing Gifts: Stories of Faith, Disability, and Inclusion This article begins, "Churches, synagogues, mosques and temples are places where people with disabilities might not expect to feel excluded, isolated or patronized, but that has often been the norm," but the rest of it tells the stories of faith communities that are outside of that norm - most notably First Reformed Church of New Brunswick, New Jersey.

A Life Worth Living or a Choice? Should the lives of people with disabilities be considered sacred or optional?

Book Report: Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart I haven't read this book yet, but I trust my friend Katie's opinion. (Katie, does he ever address the flaw I see in the title, though? Because sometimes when my heart is heavy, singing songs is exactly what it needs. And I could point to several verses that explain why that works too.)

7 Lessons from the Community of Disability So thankful for Greg Lucas, his faithfulness in pointing to an ever-faithful God, and his words and God's wisdom in this post.

Divorce & Special Needs and Divorce and The Child with Special Needs: Both of these articles caught my eye. When our disability ministry started, 25% of the parents were divorced; now that percentage is smaller, but it has been helpful for me and my husband - as we co-led Access - to understand the complexities of families affected by both disability and divorce.

Best Special Needs Vacation Spots Read this list, and consider how you can borrow practices of these vacation spots to be a more welcoming church for these families.

Same Lake, Different Boat In this post on Church4EveryChild, Steph Hubach answers questions about the book and teaching DVD with the same title. I haven't watched the DVD yet (though I have it and am looking forward to viewing it once adoption paperwork dies down!), but her book is the best disability ministry resource in print.

Just the Way I Am - still $5 but not for long John Knight highlights an amazing book that is clearanced at Desiring God right now as they clear out their warehouse of print resources. We bought enough copies to give one to each of our parents as an encouraging resource.

Helping Asperger's Kids to Sit Through Service The practical tips in this post go beyond the title (thankfully!), because the aim - for any child - is more than just being present at church.

Any other links you think our community should see from the past week? Please leave a comment with the link and how it is helpful (even if it's a post of your own!).

would you pray for another baby girl with special needs who needs family?

Our adoption coordinator just asked if I could get the word out about another baby girl in Taiwan who needs a family. She's in the same home as Zoe Amanda. She is seven months old. Her mother is 16 and gave birth alone in a hotel room; she was later found wandering the streets. This baby girl also has special needs; the primary diagnosis appears to be schizencephaly, which is a rare developmental disorder of the brain. She is able to track items with her eyes and enjoys being held and loved by the caregivers in the children's home where she and Zoe Amanda are living now. Some short videos and medical records are available for families who are seriously interested.

image source via pinterest

Please pray that God would provide a family for this little girl and, in the words of Psalm 68:6, "set the lonely into families."

If you're interested in adopting her or know someone who might be, please contact me at shannon@theworksofgoddisplayed.com. Because of changes to Taiwanese adoption law, the process of getting everything together and submitted to the courts in Taiwan would need to be accelerated. A home study should already be done, or a family must be willing to have that process expedited. (Ours was done in less than a week, so it's possible to rush it.) The total adoption cost will be $20,000-25,000.

Thanks.