cherishing every detail we get about Zoe Amanda {and we received many new details last night!}

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When you give birth to a child, you document every moment. The first breaths. The first outfit. The first bath. The first yawns. The first coos. The first smiles. And even some of the first cries.

We've planned to adopt since before we got married, but I didn't realize until the past month how odd it would feel to miss those firsts. What we will celebrate as her first Halloween, Christmas, New Year (ours and the Chinese one), Valentine's Day, and St. Patrick's Day will actually be her second. I'm not saddened by this, and given that we had planned to adopt an older child, we expected to miss more than just the firsts of some things. But still... it just feels, well, weird.

So when we get new morsels of information about her life, I gobble them up. I savor them. I usually hold on to the pictures and videos of her for a day or two before I share them outside of our family. I want time to cherish them before I pass them along.

Last night I hit the jackpot. Our adoption facilitator sent me answers to many questions about Zoe Amanda that we've had since we accepted her referral. I already shared with you that Zoe Amanda has some areas of brain damage called PVL and will likely be diagnosed with cerebral palsy once she arrives home. Before we accepted her referral, we knew that and had copies of her MRIs, and we also knew she was a preemie.

And here's what we know now...

She was 2 pounds and 15 ounces when she was born on October 24, and she was 14.5 inches long. The doctor estimated that her mother was 30 or 31 weeks along in the pregnancy, but he didn't know for sure because she received no prenatal care, having hidden the pregnancy from everyone. Zoe was breathing on her own, though she was given oxygen as a precautionary measure until they determined that her lungs were working fine without help. She stayed in the hospital for three weeks to gain weight before she was discharged, but she was doing so well that she wasn't in the NICU. She maintained body temperature well on her own and never needed to be in an incubator.

In less than three months - 12.5 weeks later, to be precise - her weight had increased to 9 pounds and 15 ounces and her height to 20 inches. Amazing growth in such a short time! She will begin therapy this week, but she is cooing and smiling and doing all the typical baby things you would expect for a baby with her adjusted age.

We also hear that she can have a bit of an attitude when she doesn't get her way. For example, yesterday the director of the ministry over there took some video of Zoe "talking" and then played it back for her on the phone; our baby girl got excited and cooed back at herself, but when the phone was taken away, she let out a screech and stuck her bottom lip out. (Genetics might not link her to her big sister, but it looks like the temperament might!)

In addition to cerebral palsy, she could also end up with a diagnosis of fetal alcohol syndrome, based on the history shared with us. However, her face doesn't show any of the three craniofacial indicators for that, so we'll wait and see. The exposure was definitely there in high enough quantities for her to be affected.

We learned other details about her background that I can't share due to confidentiality for her birth parents - both teenagers - but I can tell you this: I love that I'll be able to tell her stories about her birth, even though we weren't there. And we're also thankful that we chose to keep her Chinese name as a second middle name, because her maternal grandfather chose that name for her.

Oh, and one of the most encouraging tidbits?

"Sleeps well."

 Praying that's true! :)

merry blogiversary! top posts from the past year {the works of God displayed turns ONE today!}

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1 year
248 posts (249 if you count this one!)
1692 tweets
Visits from 84 countries

I love the community and connections I've made through this blog, and I can promise you that I have been the one blessed the most by it. Thank you for your comments, your questions, and your encouragement.

I have three posts waiting to go live, including a follow-up to Wednesday's post about children with disabilities in church, a post about international considerations for disability ministry (because we need a global perspective and because 10% of my readers are outside of the US), and a post answering a question I received via Twitter about starting a disability ministry. But those will wait until next week.

Today I'd like to take a look back at the ten most popular posts in the past year:

1. Michael W. Smith and a star-struck teenage girl 

2. "After-birth abortion" should be allowed because some disabilities aren't diagnosed prior to birth?

3. No partiality {James 2:1-13}

4. The biblical basis for special needs ministry

5. Wonderfully, fearfully knit together {Psalm 139:13-16}

6. Kudos to Target. Now, church, it's your turn.

7. every story has two sides but.

8. Fridays from the Families: Ministering to people with autism

9. In a church setting, how can you support a parent who might be in denial about their child's special needs?

10. Only sharing the gospel with 5/6 of our children? Not an option

Can I just say that I love that two of the top ten posts are Bible verses with no commentary from me? If my blog is bringing people to read from God's Word, then that will change lives and churches far more than anything I write.

Here are a few more posts - honorable mentions, if yo will - that are on my list of favorites, even though they don't make the top 10 as defined by visits:
As I move into the second year of this blog, what topics would you like to know more about so that you and others may be equipped to include people with disabilities in your churches and your lives?

four pieces of mail that have encouraged me this week

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a letter from one sister to another
Jocelyn asked to make a card for Zoe Amanda. Here's the cover and the back, with labels she dictated to me.



(In case you're wondering, the pictures are modeled after this baby toy.)


Then the letter. Oh, what a letter! Jocelyn also dictated this to me, and I got all teary-eyed as I wrote her words.



Dear Zoe Amanda,
I love you. I'm Jocelyn, and I'm your big sister. And I have a little brother Robbie who is going to be your big brother. Our mommy and daddy are very nice. We have a dog named Napoleon, and he is a very nice dog. The whole family loves you, and we can't wait to meet you.
And then you can see her signature below.


a letter from the feds
This letter included the instructions and appointment details for us to get fingerprinted for the US Citizenship & Immigration Services office of the Department of National Security to make sure we're good folk. That's the next step in the federal approval process. This also means our prints will be in the system, you know, if Abby ever needs to run a check on us. (What? You say NCIS isn't real? Blasphemer.)


a letter from a friend who has been in our shoes
Such encouragement and wisdom! This friend has a newborn baby boy and an adolescent boy, both who joined their family in the past year or so. She and I haven't seen each other since my freshman year of college. And yet she was willing to encourage me with this note, from one adoptive mama to another.

Shannon,I just want you to know that I well remember the feeling of not having your child with you. It seems unnatural for him/her to be somewhere else, being taken care of by someone else. It is tempting (and futile) to try to control the situation. Know that you (and Zoe, and Lee, and Jocelyn, and Robbie!) are being bathed in prayer. The day will come when you get to hold your baby girl. 
our first purchase for Zoe Amanda
Well, if you don't count the checks for paperwork stuff to bring her home!

I'm a sucker for baby shoes. More often than not, baby shoes are the gift I get for friends who are expecting. They're just so cute, and when an online store had my favorite brand - smaller by See Kai Run - clearanced last week, I jumped at the opportunity to get a pair for our little girl, given that these are usually out of our price range.



And I think that last picture sums up our current circumstances well -
precious but with a long to-do list written on my hand. 

Children {with disabilities} being welcome in worship

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Yesterday one of my favorite blogs featured a guest post titled Children In Worship - Let's Bring It Back The author writes, "As the church, let’s be open to the idea of inviting our children into worship again. Let’s be patient, deliberate, and wise, but let’s encourage families to have their children in worship as soon as they are able."

As he acknowledges that each family will approach this with different timetables, he provides clear reasons for why it is beneficial to include children in worship. I've pasted that section below.

But first, consider this as you read them: you can replace "children" with "people with disabilities," and it still remains true. As you read the rationale below and make the mental replacement, I think it will become clear why the inclusion of individuals with special needs matters.
Why should children attend the worship service?
  1. Our children are members of the covenant community (the church):Corporate Worship on Sunday morning is the primary activity the covenant community engages in together (Acts 2:42; Hebrews 10:24-25). Therefore, our children as members of this community should be included in this crucial aspect of covenantal life.
  2. Our children will be present in the midst of the means of grace: Our children benefit by being where the Word is preached (Romans 10:14), the sacraments are administered (Matthew 28:19-20), and corporate prayer is practiced (Acts 2:42-47). These are the chief means by which God pours out grace upon His people. Why knowingly rob our children of this blessing?!
  3. Our children will be present in the midst of the entire congregation:Our children benefit greatly by being in the presence of Christians of various ages. They are able to see that the faith of their parents is not a faith that they own alone, but is a faith that is important to all of these people who are gathered around them on Sunday morning. This only reinforces what Mom and Dad are modeling and teaching when they see this incredible gathering of people reading the Word together, praying together, confessing together, and singing together (Deuteronomy 31:9-13). They need to see the body in action.
  4. Our children will be present with their parents: Worshipping together as a family helps to counter the current trend in our society  of fragmenting our families. If our children join us in worship from four years of age until they are eighteen they will worship with their parents in 780 Sunday morning worship services! Think about the cumulative effect of a family worshipping together, in the midst of the means of grace, meeting with God for 780 Sundays in a row.
  5. Our children will witness their parents worshipping: It is the Biblical role of parents to disciple their children in the faith (Deut. 6; Psalm 78; Eph. 6). What a benefit there is when children witnesses their mother or father singing with conviction, praying in reverence, listening intently to the sermon, or receiving the Lord’s Supper in joy. In these moments a child witnesses the importance of faith and worship. There are few greater encouragements to a child’s faith then seeing their parents worship God with reverence and joy. (Exodus 12:1-28; Deut. 4:9-11; Deut. 6; Psalm 78; Ezra 10:1; Nehemiah 12:43; Joel 2:12-17; Acts 16:33).
  6. Our children will learn the rhythms of church life: Teenagers in our culture often balk at attending corporate worship. But how many of our teenagers have we setup for this reaction, because we did not consistently include them in worship until they were a teenager? If attending church for years has always meant coloring Bible pictures, singing songs to a cd, playing games, and doing crafts—then we should not be surprised that our young people find worship to be odd, uncomfortable, and even boring. I love good children’s songs—they ring through my house. I love good children’s Christian crafts—they decorate my study. But if this alone is the rhythm of church life we have set up for our children week in and week out, we have done them a great disservice. They must see, know, and learn that the singing of the great hymns of the faith, the preaching of the Word, reading of confessions, corporate prayers, etc. is anything but boring. It is the gathered life of the community of faith. It is our weekly rhythm—appointed by God, designed by Him, established for the ages—this is what we want them to know, because we want them to know and worship Him.
In today's post at the same blog, the author will be offering tips for including children in the worship service, and some of those will work for individuals with disabilities too. I'll be writing a follow-up post once his goes live.

As we ponder this, I want to suggest that becoming a church that welcomes kids in worship is taking a vital first step to welcoming people with disabilities. How? Consider a church that accepts children in worship, knowing that they might make noises at odd times or demonstrate other "atypical" church behaviors. As this becomes part of their church's culture, those behaviors will become "typical" as the congregation becomes patient and understand toward those who are learning to worship and who may express their praise in different ways. As that happens, these churches often become places that are more likely to welcome people with disabilities and any "atypical" church behaviors they might bring.

And then the definition of "typical" changes once again, as the church's culture will change to consider those individuals with special needs to be vital members of their body, embracing the words below:

For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body — Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 
For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 

If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
{1 Corinthians 12:12-26}

Let those words be true of our churches.

 Amen.