please, be nice

Special ed has many forms. While most of us in the public school system start with our kiddos in kindergarten, Zoe is already receiving services under education law.


That’s because special ed law guarantees services from birth to age 21 for children who qualify.


North Carolina’s early intervention program – CDSA – is administered by Department of Health and Human Services, not the school system. Once a child hits age 3, services transition from early intervention to the local school system’s preschool program for children with disabilities.


Zoe’s services aren’t covered 100% by CDSA, though.


First, our insurance plan covers the first 30 therapy visits a year, which is the typical cap. Since Zoe has physical therapy and occupational therapy each week, that means we hit that cap at the end of March. After that, a percentage of her therapy costs are paid by early intervention, and a percentage is paid by us. Honestly, I don’t quite remember what portion is ours and what portion is theirs. It’s a sliding scale based on our income, determining how much of Zoe’s therapy costs are subsidized. I think we’ll pay about $150-200 a month, but I’m not sure about that.

(Can you tell that Lee is the bill-paying member of our marriage? Yep. Not me.) 


Why share this? First, I think it’s an important piece of knowledge to have for folks considering special needs adoption.

Second, though, I’m sharing this because we’ve had friends – even close friends – lambast anyone who receives income-based government services in Facebook posts, blogs, tweets, and so on.

Technically, early intervention is one of those programs.

Please, hold your tongue or think before you post your rant (or re-post someone else’s).

 When you state unequivocally that anyone receiving government services is not pulling their weight, it hurts.

When you think you’re talking about some nameless, faceless stranger, you’re not.


When you complain about having to pay for someone else’s services, it feels like you’re complaining about my daughter. It’s hard for me to be your friend when I feel like you’re saying that it would have been better for Zoe to remain in her country, where she - as an orphan - would have been transferred to an institution for her care. I know that sounds harsh, but we wouldn’t be able to be her parents and afford for her therapy needs without the portion subsidized by the government. Our budget is stretched enough with the additional $150-200 we’re now paying each month.


It’s popular in some of my circles of friends to judge the woman with food stamps who has her nails done and her iPhone out… without knowing if her iPhone was a gift, if her nails were done for free by a friend, or if she’s spent hours that day searching for a job and is beaten down by all the rejections, much less the condescending stares from the person behind her in line who will post about her on Facebook like he knows her full story. I’ve known pastors who were given a fancy car as a present and then embarrassed to drive it, lest people think the church is paying him way too much if he can afford that. And blogs and opinion pieces occasionally tackle the topic of how much of a financial drain people with disabilities are on the rest of us.

Enough already.

Please. 

Let’s go ahead and debate policies and discuss budget proposals and consider cost-cutting measures. Seriously. I don’t mind one bit if you disagree with me about education funding or any other topic, as long as we can talk without insulting anyone in the process.

Let’s stop pretending we know someone else’s story. Let’s stop attacking people. Let’s stop applying broad labels to diverse groups. Let’s stop shouting at each other online, as if it’s okay to forget manners when we’re communicating through the computer.

Please. Use your brain and your mouth to discuss issues… but use your heart too, so that you can express your views without being a jerk about it. 


P.S. – All the pictures in this post are of today’s therapy session with Zoe, in which she did some pretty spectacular commando crawling with only a little bit of help. Thanks for the tiny fraction of a penny from your taxes that helped make that happen. (Truly, I’m not being sarcastic; we are grateful. We love living in a country that offers services so that people with disabilities, people like Zoe, aren’t just hidden away in an institution like she might have been in her birth country.)

that chevron rug in my last post

Who knew other folks would love our chevron rug as much as I do? After a few comments about it, I figured it deserved its own post.


I bought it for another room (the family room shown in the picture of our kids and our missionary friends in this post), but the print was too much for that space and the walls were a little too blue and not aqua enough to coordinate well.

So the living room it is!


I haven't vacuumed in a nearly a week, so I'll admit that the yellow fleck and dog hairs in the picture above aren't part of the rug but just part of our filth. That said, a major selling point of this rug is that it hides dirt well. I didn't even remember that I needed to vacuum in there until I got on the floor to take pictures.


It's not deep or super plush, but it does feel nice underfoot. Zoe can rock tummy time on it, which is a necessity since this is the room where the magic physical and occupational therapy happen.


A lot of chevron rugs have a tight pattern, with uniformly skinny zigs and zags. Our front room - which includes the living room and dining area - already has a lot of pattern and color and detail, so I think any pattern smaller than this would make the room too busy.

(And, yes, as a matter of fact, that is a US Customs and Border Patrol ruler. Try not to be too jealous. Just part of the swag from my B.C. - before children - days teaching middle school on the Mexican border.)


Our kids love the pattern too. Cars have been lined up the "dirt" and driven so they don't fall in the "rivers."


Barbie has sunned herself on the "sand" while dipping her toes in the "ocean."


Dances have been choreographed to carefully keep feet on the "ground" without stepping in the "blue flames."


It's soft enough to be the perfect playing or walking surface (especially in a high traffic area), but it's flat enough that the surface is perfect for puzzles and board games.


Added bonus? It not only matches the front door, but also these fancy pillows I bought last year.


The rug was the last touch in our front room that brought everything together. It's so refreshing to feel like this is our home, instead of just the house we moved into ten months ago.


---{Details}---
I purchased the rug from Zulily for $169.99, not including shipping or tax. I have the 8x10 version, but it's also available in 5x8. Zulily is one of those daily deal sites, and the rug isn't currently available there... but fear not! I had been eyeing it on Overstock long before it hit Zulily: here's the link for the 8x10, and here it is in 5x8. This is the "medium blue," but it's also available in light blue, rust, and two black options (one with cream stripes and the other with the natural color). The price fluctuates on Overstock, so I would wait until it's at least 10% off and then use one of the 10% or 15% off coupons in my email (which you can get too, if you sign up for emails on their site).

Hope that helps!

a pop of beauty

Color makes me happy.

While burgundy is a fine color for some folks, it's just not for me. Especially the drab shade that used to be on our front door.

Excuse the exhaustion... our dear friend Heather took this picture the moment we returned home from Taiwan. It's the only picture of the front door I could find!

And the khaki that graced all the siding and exterior trim and side and back doors?

Y'all. 

To me, that's as bad as having it all the color of Pepto.


Yep, I'd take bright pink - and I'm not  a girly girl - over neutral, institutional shades of bland.

But now?


Much better.



We ditched the storm door, because we never use it and because the wood frame was literally falling apart.

Now?



Please ignore the evidence that I kill plants and keep weeds alive and well. Moving on...

This was the front of our house.






This is now the front.


Granted, the trim and shutters are a'changing too in due time, but I'm amazed at how much difference the door makes!


And my view as I sit and read or write in our front room?


Love.

just sitting around

Hi.


Whatcha up to?

 
Oh, me? I'm just sitting here watching my big brother race cars. (Did you know that Robbie is fascinating? Really, he is.)


Mom pushed me a bit far when she tried to get me to work on strength activities on my belly.


Rolling and crawling? Mom, those really weren't on my schedule for today.

Isn't sitting enough for you people? I mean, really.

Readers, next time Mom posts a picture of me crying, can you leave a comment asking her to hold me instead of letting me cry?

Yep, I'm her third kid, and she's still working on Parenting 101.

Me? I'm working on sitting for longer stretches of time. Maybe I'll try again when that captivating blond girl comes home.