our matching grant from Lifesong {or, how you can double donations toward bringing our precious ones home!}

One big difference between this adoption and our last one is summed up in one word: GRANTS!

Zoe's adoption was completed without an agency, which required more legwork on our end and more research to make sure everything was ethical. Not having an agency reduced some of our costs, but it also made us ineligible for grants. (Adoption grant organizations uniformly require that adoptive families use accredited agencies.)

This time, we applied for several, and we're waiting to hear back on most. One, from the Sea of Faces Foundation, was awarded to us last week (woohoo!), and we just got a call today about a $2,500 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. In other words, if we raise $2,500, then Lifesong will grant another $2500, for a grand total of $5000.

Would you consider making a donation to help us get all of the matching funds?

Before I explain how to give, let me explain - especially for those of you who are new to the blog - why you might consider giving.

1. It's not about us or our family. This is about a family in Africa, three siblings to be exact, who live in an orphanage in the fallout from the AIDS epidemic in their country. They were going to be separated in hopes of finding families sooner when a friend alerted us to their need. Your donation will help those three out of their orphanage and into a family... our family!


2. We adopted Zoe and are adopting again because children matter. I wrote about our reasoning and meaningful verses here. If anything ever happened to me and Lee, we would want our children to grow up in a family instead of a facility.


3. We're not rich. Well, we are rich in Christ, whose sacrifice on the cross allowed us to be adopted into the family of God. But we don't have the kind of money needed to fund the adoption of four children in less than two years. Zoe's adoption cost $25,000 in total, and this one will cost $40,000 in all. 


4. HIV shouldn't be a death sentence, but it often is for orphans. One of the siblings we're adopting is HIV+. We have written here, here, here, and here about what that means for us and why we said yes, but in short: HIV can be treated, and children with HIV can live normal lives. That is, if they have access to medical care and a stable environment in which their medications are given twice a day as needed.

Here's how you can do so. Via mail, send your donation to Lifesong directly (a check written to "Lifesong for Orphans" with "3782 Dingle" in the memo line) to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744. Or use the Paypal button below.

THE GRANT IS MATCHED! If you'd like to give to our adoption, you can still do so, but use the Paypal link in the top left side of the blog or email me at shannon {at} dinglefest {dot} com for information on how to mail in a donation. 

Finally a few words from Lifesong:

Lifesong for Orphans is a non-profit Christian ministry dedicated to help meet the needs of orphan children around the world, and to obey God’s call to “visit the fatherless…in their affliction” (James 1:27). With over 147 million orphans worldwide, Lifesong seeks to mobilize the Body of Christ to love and care for orphans. Lifesong serves families, churches and orphans through adoption funding. Additionally, Lifesong brings joy and purpose to orphans globally in seven countries and domestically through foster care initiatives. Please visit our website (www.lifesongfororphans.org) for more information.

Lee and Shannon have sensed God’s call to care for the fatherless and have joyfully stepped out in faith and obedience to adopt 3 siblings from Uganda. As you may already know, adoption can cost $25,000-$35,000, and this financial burden prevents many godly families from adopting. Lifesong believes God has called this family to adoption and has committed an Adoption Matching Grant of $2500.00 to help bring these children home.

Funds donated to Lifesong for Orphans will be given to help cover adoption expenses. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization and your gift is tax deductible. 100% of all funds raised will go directly to cover adoption costs--nothing will be taken out for Lifesong for Orphans administrative costs.

In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use. Individual donations $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250, will gladly be sent upon request.

Thanks for considering joining with us to provide a family for the three darling ones in Uganda who we love already, even though we haven't met them yet.

oh, the cuteness {trying on potential court outfits for Uganda}

I couldn't resist at post-Easter sales when I found majorly clearanced outfits in each of our kiddos' (present and future ones!) sizes. I'm considering using these, plus leggings for the girls, as court outfits in Uganda, but I might not given the red clay's potential of making them one-time wears.

Either way, uh.door.uh.bull. Seriously.

Uganda-loving friends, would I be terribly insane to bring this much white and pastel, knowing the persistence of Ugandan clay? 

(Also, any tried and true tips for getting the dirt out once we're home?)

on white privilege and black dolls

The phrase "white privilege" has been thrown around a lot in the wake of recent events. While I'm abstaining from commenting on the whole Zimmerman and Martin tragedy, since our sound-byte culture is more concerned with loud opinions than genuine dialogue, I want to weigh in on my recent confrontations with those two loaded words.

What is white privilege?

I don't intend to fully define the term here, but the response to yesterday's doll post highlights its relevance. Commenter after commenter expressed excitement about dolls that literally and figuratively broke the mold of the typical white-skinned playthings of my childhood.

When it comes to dolls, white privilege means I have a plenitude of options for products that look like me and Jocelyn and others in our ancestry.

This past Christmas, I prepared to order the darling Pottery Barn stockings I had loved for years, as I thought our family was complete. Having long loved the princess and dancer ones, I assumed I would get those for the girls... until I realized none of them resembled Zoe. From my vantage point prior to adoption as a white mother to a white children, I had never noticed the limited options outside of my reflection.

(Side note: I order my PB stocking from Ugly Sofa, which limits the selection but offers them for a fraction of the price because they are castoffs from PB when mistakes are made, like sewing "Robbie" onto the wrong stocking when completing an order. Granted, we probably won't be able to get a Patience stocking there, given the uncommon name, but I found our current five names last year with no problem. Right now, their stock doesn't include personalized stocking, but I expect them to come back closer to the holidays.)

And then we have dolls. I began my love affair with dolls from other cultures concurrently with my dreams of becoming a ventriloquist. The latter never panned out (quite possibly because I was terrible), but I only recently got rid of poor Lester, who was falling apart at the seams.

This was Lester, may he rest in peace. (Yes, I will admit he was creepy, but I loved him.)

My next encounter with doll ethnicity came in college when I took American Women Authors at UNC. In addition to processing 9/11 with my classmates, as the twin towers fell shortly before class began that Tuesday and many of us - myself included - heard the news from Dr. Wagner-Martin, another firm memory from ENGL 446 was The Bluest Eye, as the young black narrator describes:

It had begun with Christmas and the gift of dolls. The big, the special, the loving gift was always a big, blue-eyed Baby Doll. From the clucking sounds of adults, I knew that the doll represented what they thought was my fondest wish. I was bemused with the thing myself, and the way it looked. What was I supposed to do with it?....

I had only one desire: to dismember it. To see what it was made, to discover the dearness, to find the beauty, the desirability that had escaped me, but apparently only me. Adults, older girls, shops, magazines, newspapers, window signs - all the world had agreed that a blue-eyed, yellow-haired, pink-skinned doll was what every girl child treasured. "Here," they said, "this is beautiful, and if you are on this day 'worthy' you may have it"...

I destroyed white baby dolls.

But the dismembering of dolls was not the true horror. The truly horrifying thing was the transference of the same impulses to little white girls. The indifference with which I could have axed them was shaken only by my desire to do so. To discover what eluded me: the secret of the magic they weaved on others. What made people look at them and say, "Awwwww," but not for me?

No, the book doesn't go on to detail a macabre attack on little white girls. But Claudia's perspective as a black child in 1941 is colored by the reality that dolls with her skin tone were conspicuously absent from store shelves. The first anatomically accurate doll like her, the Sara Lee doll, wasn't sold until 1951; even then, Macy's and Saks refused to carry it for fear of attracting too many black customers.

The first "black" Barbie was Francie in 1967, though she was simply a black version of the white Francie; they slapped on brown paint on the same doll made from the white mold. As such,  history usually records Christie from 1968 as the first black Barbie, even though she was still made with a white doll's mold, probably Midge's. 1980 was the year when black Barbies were finally made with brown plastic (albeit in white molds and with the same hair in a darker shade). The most notable black Barbies, in my opinion, are the line of So In Style (S.I.S.) dolls launched in 2009; see some below and others here, and you'll probably notice wider noses, fuller lips, and more diverse hair types and skin shades.

Why does any of this matter?

Because dolls have always been a representation of beauty. When dolls look like us, they affirm our own beauty, and when no dolls can be found in our likeness, that beauty is called into question. After all, it is no small thing that the Bible records us as having been made in God's image. It matters.

(Another notable doll movement is underfoot for ones accurately representing kids with Down syndrome. The design takes into account not just the facial features that accompany that extra 21st chromosome but also the slightly shorter arms and the space between the toes and a few other anatomical features common among children with Trisomy 21. Read more on their website or Facebook page.)

In our household, it matters more in some ways. I don't want Zoe and Patricia and Patience to think they have to have smooth, straight hair because their mother and big sister do. I can't keep them from feeling a conspicuous other-ness at times, looking different from their extended family here.

To a degree, the entire family gets in on that, as we certainly won't fit any norm in family appearances!

I can't make us more typical or match my skin to that of four of my children.

I can, however, make sure that their playthings reflect our family's diversity rather than my own white privilege.

~+~

To learn about my favorite multicultural line of dolls and enter for a chance to win one, go here! The giveaway is live, but it ends Sunday at midnight Eastern time. (Remember: You can get more entries daily by sharing the post on Facebook and Twitter.)

Changing the world, one doll at a time {a Hearts For Hearts Girls giveaway!}

My girls love dolls.

I love different cultures.

So when a line of multicultural dolls teaches about empathy and service toward those in need, I take note.

My mom bought Jocelyn's first one, Consuelo from Mexico (third from the left above). Then Lee's mom bought the next one, Lilian from Belarus (second from the left).

We've had this doll for 18 months. Jocelyn is rough on her toys,  but Consuelo's hair is tangle-free and clothes (the original outfit,  plus one additional one I found on clearance at Target) are like new. Full disclosure: We have lost one earring.

With one more purchase and a generous sampling of dolls for review purposes, we now also own Rahel from Ethiopia, Mosi from the USA (Native American), Shola from Afghanistan, Lauryce from the USA (New Orleans), Dell from the USA (Appalachian mountains in Kentucky), Nahji from India, and Tipi from Laos.

Hearts For Hearts Girls (HFHG)  are inspired by stories of real girls around the world. Each of them has ideas about how to make life better for herself, her family, and community. Each comes with a story printed on the box, a little booklet sharing more about the girl's humanitarian efforts, and additional story details on the HFHG website.

The company making these has clearly thought them through. In their words,

It’s an undeniable fact that girls in many countries struggle against a lack of education, medical care, decent housing, and clean water and food. But when these basic needs are met, those girls achieve amazing things for themselves and their families. Sometimes, all they need is a little help.

Whenever you buy a doll, Hearts For Hearts Girls donates a dollar to our charitable partner, World Vision, for programs that support girls in that country. Whether it’s malaria nets in Africa, schoolbooks in Asia, or food supplies in the US, these programs help girls to thrive and succeed.

Love. it. 

 

When American Girl dolls came out, I was past the doll stage... but still. I devoured the books and hoped Mom would get me a doll anyway.

(A generation later, she did make good on my doll hopes, as Jocelyn's Kit doll was under the Christmas tree last year and Patience's Addy doll is waiting in the wings for this December.)

These dolls, though? I think they are an even better choice. The construction is excellent, the design is superb, and if one gets left at the park or chewed on by the dog? The replacement cost is much lower. (They retail for $24.99 at Target stores and online, on Amazon online, and at select Barnes & Noble stores. Sometimes they're listed for more than that on Amazon, but if so, just wait it out until another seller - who isn't trying to make more than the usual profit - has the doll in stock for the list price.)

And the stories? They teach our girls invaluable lessons about needs around the world while encouraging them to make a difference right where they are. (Plus you can feel good, knowing that $1 from each doll purchase goes to World Vision to support girls in the doll's home country/community!)

Enough about the dolls.... want one of your own? Playmates Toys is letting me host a giveaway of not one but TWO dolls - one Mosi and one Shola - here on the blog. Enter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Fine print: Some of the dolls in this post were sent to us for review after I contacted the manufacturer about my plans for this post. My opinions are all my own, plus I planned to write about the dolls whether or not they sponsored a giveaway or provided review dolls. Winners will be notified within 48 hours of the end of the giveaway period, and winners will need to provide their mailing address for the doll to be sent directly to them from Playmates Toys. 

why is it so hard to find multicultural toys?

As a teacher in South Texas - where my middle school of 1600 students had 3 white kids and 6 Filipino kids and the rest Hispanic - I saw the results of being isolated in your own culture. I was an outsider. Many of my students had never met a black person and thought it was acceptable to refer to my black program director as "the n***** who came to watch you teach."

They had no clue that they were using a bad word, having only the context of rap music to educate them on black culture.

Now we live in a predominately white area of town and go to a mostly white church. That makes it a bit more difficult to ensure that our children are educated about other cultures through real-life interactions and not just external media. To that end, we made a point to find a school that (a) taught a foreign language daily, (b) had a diverse population in which the achievement gap between white and non-white students and between economically disadvantaged (E.D.) and Not E.D. students was lower than average for our area, and (c) included children with special needs in their population. For us, those were our most important criteria in choosing a school.

Our family's life verse is Micah 6:8:  

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

In fact, here's a sneak peek at two shirts that we'll be selling soon to raise adoption funds...

More details to come soon on pre-ordering yours... plus one more design based on Proverbs 3:27, which will include kid sizes too!

To us, we're not doing justice or loving kindness or walking humbly with God when we support a system that lacks equity in educational opportunities across racial, socioeconomic, and disability categories.

When we first considered educational options for our kids, including the early learning environment in our home, we were white parents (still are!) to two white children (still have them, but have added our little one from Taiwan and are in the process of adding three more from Uganda). So when we were expecting Jocelyn's birth, we tried to find a range of multicultural toys for her at consignment sales and online. We wanted the beautiful hues of skin God has created introduced early and often, normalized in one way by her daily playthings.

And? 

I was disappointed by the few options available at mainstream retailers, who usually carry a wide assortment of dolls and books and toys with my skin color but just a token few with any darker tones.

It's gotten better, but I still have to go out of my way to find products that are multiethnic, especially ones that reflect the varying shades now (and soon to be) represented in our own family. Tomorrow I'll be starting a series of posts on my favorite multicultural toys (including a couple giveaways from my friends at Hearts for Hearts dolls; CLICK HERE to go to their Facebook page, because liking it will be good for one entry in the giveaway!).

Please, please, please leave a comment if you have a multicultural toy or book or resource recommendation for me! I'd love to include more in this blog series (and check them out for my own colorful family).