A surprising difficulty
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When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, the reality set in that certain things might be more difficult for me for the rest of my life, given that this disease is degenerative, there is presently no cure, and my case - according to my doc - is particularly aggressive. However, I've been caught off guard lately by a difficulty that was wholly unexpected:
Answering the question, "How are you?"
You see, I don't know what people are asking. Is it just the courtesy query, in which case the expected response is "fine, and you?" Is the person asking how our growing family is doing, in which case the answer is, "fantastic! We're tired, but everything has been much easier this time around, and Jocelyn is adjusting well! We are blessed beyond anything we could have imagined, and we keep recalling the verses Ephesians 3:20-21 and praising God!" Or is my friend asking about my physical well-being, in which case the honest response is, "painful, at times agonizingly so. In fact, I hurt enough most days to cry at least once. And that's saying a lot, since I have a really high tolerance for pain." Or, on a good day, "better in a relative sense but, as my sweet husband says, still way worse than he could handle."
I typically go with one of the first two responses because I don't want to throw anyone off (by giving the answer to the third question when I was really being asked the first or second) and because I like to keep my conversations positive when possible since that helps me heed Philippians 4:8. Furthermore, since I started having health problems, I've found that it's easy for the conversation to center on that, which means we never get around to other topics, which means a) my disease and my identity start feeling inextricably linked, which doesn't feel so good, and b) I never hear about you since we're busy talking about me. And since most aspects of my life are lovely, neither of the first two answers is dishonest. But I know that friends care about the third one, too, so here's the deal. Sweet friend, if you're asking about my joints, please do what one precious lady in my life does and simply ask, "How are your joints feeling?" from time to time. I don't mind talking about it, but I don't want to go there unless I'm invited to do so.
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Now I'll pretend for a moment that you asked the third question (since it's my blog so I get to choose the question!) and give an update to my last RA post.We're already on Plan B, though I hope to scale back to Plan A in a couple months. (If you missed my update in the midst of the gaggle of picture posts last week and are wondering what on earth I'm talking about, here's a link for you. And be expecting another gaggle starting in the next day or two. And, yes, I realize that the proper term for a group of picture posts probably isn't "gaggle" but I don't care.) The new meds - aka Plan A - aren't doing much yet, but they take a while to act, so the only way to function was to increase my prednisone dose slightly, which was Plan B. We still have a little room to increase the prednisone, so we're in the first part of Plan B and have a bit more room before progressing to Plan C. That said, I don't want to continue down the Plan B path if we can avoid it and I'm hoping to bump the prednisone back down when/if Plan A starts working. For now, I'm feeling a little better. The pain is still there, but it's manageable for me now. And, praise God, all the side effects of the new drugs are within the bounds of what I'm okay with.
I don't think I mentioned this in my last post, but my doctor expects me to get to Plan C (the IV drugs) or D (weaning Robbie so I can start stronger stuff). He doesn't think Plan A or B will work well enough. However, he did backtrack on that a bit and say, "I shouldn't count out plaquenil [one of my Plan A drugs] completely, though, because a few people respond very well to it." He then, since he's a nerdy research type, launched into the ethnic groups who respond best to it, studies that have been done, and anectodal evidence from his own practice (specifically two patients who have seen tremendous results from it). But he also said, "This is the Care Bear of the drugs we have for RA" (meaning that it's the weakest one with the fewest side effects, and it doesn't do much for a lot of people) and "I haven't had any success with it for anyone with a case like yours." So, dear friend, would you join me in praying that I'm one of those who experiences unexpectedly amazing results from this medication? I know the odds are stacked against it, but our God can do more than we expect or imagine. And, if He doesn't, I'll be okay with that because it means He has something else planned, and I'll always prefer His plans over my own since I've learned that His plans are way better than mine. We'll know in a couple months if plaquenil is working or not. I'll keep you updated on the blog and, if you ask specifically about my joints, in our conversations as well!
Answering the question, "How are you?"
You see, I don't know what people are asking. Is it just the courtesy query, in which case the expected response is "fine, and you?" Is the person asking how our growing family is doing, in which case the answer is, "fantastic! We're tired, but everything has been much easier this time around, and Jocelyn is adjusting well! We are blessed beyond anything we could have imagined, and we keep recalling the verses Ephesians 3:20-21 and praising God!" Or is my friend asking about my physical well-being, in which case the honest response is, "painful, at times agonizingly so. In fact, I hurt enough most days to cry at least once. And that's saying a lot, since I have a really high tolerance for pain." Or, on a good day, "better in a relative sense but, as my sweet husband says, still way worse than he could handle."
I typically go with one of the first two responses because I don't want to throw anyone off (by giving the answer to the third question when I was really being asked the first or second) and because I like to keep my conversations positive when possible since that helps me heed Philippians 4:8. Furthermore, since I started having health problems, I've found that it's easy for the conversation to center on that, which means we never get around to other topics, which means a) my disease and my identity start feeling inextricably linked, which doesn't feel so good, and b) I never hear about you since we're busy talking about me. And since most aspects of my life are lovely, neither of the first two answers is dishonest. But I know that friends care about the third one, too, so here's the deal. Sweet friend, if you're asking about my joints, please do what one precious lady in my life does and simply ask, "How are your joints feeling?" from time to time. I don't mind talking about it, but I don't want to go there unless I'm invited to do so.
___________________________________________
Now I'll pretend for a moment that you asked the third question (since it's my blog so I get to choose the question!) and give an update to my last RA post.We're already on Plan B, though I hope to scale back to Plan A in a couple months. (If you missed my update in the midst of the gaggle of picture posts last week and are wondering what on earth I'm talking about, here's a link for you. And be expecting another gaggle starting in the next day or two. And, yes, I realize that the proper term for a group of picture posts probably isn't "gaggle" but I don't care.) The new meds - aka Plan A - aren't doing much yet, but they take a while to act, so the only way to function was to increase my prednisone dose slightly, which was Plan B. We still have a little room to increase the prednisone, so we're in the first part of Plan B and have a bit more room before progressing to Plan C. That said, I don't want to continue down the Plan B path if we can avoid it and I'm hoping to bump the prednisone back down when/if Plan A starts working. For now, I'm feeling a little better. The pain is still there, but it's manageable for me now. And, praise God, all the side effects of the new drugs are within the bounds of what I'm okay with.
I don't think I mentioned this in my last post, but my doctor expects me to get to Plan C (the IV drugs) or D (weaning Robbie so I can start stronger stuff). He doesn't think Plan A or B will work well enough. However, he did backtrack on that a bit and say, "I shouldn't count out plaquenil [one of my Plan A drugs] completely, though, because a few people respond very well to it." He then, since he's a nerdy research type, launched into the ethnic groups who respond best to it, studies that have been done, and anectodal evidence from his own practice (specifically two patients who have seen tremendous results from it). But he also said, "This is the Care Bear of the drugs we have for RA" (meaning that it's the weakest one with the fewest side effects, and it doesn't do much for a lot of people) and "I haven't had any success with it for anyone with a case like yours." So, dear friend, would you join me in praying that I'm one of those who experiences unexpectedly amazing results from this medication? I know the odds are stacked against it, but our God can do more than we expect or imagine. And, if He doesn't, I'll be okay with that because it means He has something else planned, and I'll always prefer His plans over my own since I've learned that His plans are way better than mine. We'll know in a couple months if plaquenil is working or not. I'll keep you updated on the blog and, if you ask specifically about my joints, in our conversations as well!