things that have been said to us that make my heart ache a little...
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Please don't read this and then fear that you have to be careful about what you say to me, lest I mock it in a future post. First, I'm not mocking any of these statements. And second, I am thankful for comments that surprise me - even the ones that bother me - because they make me think.
Let's talk. I won't turn your words into a post. I promise.
"Well, of course she's stubborn. All Chinese kids are."
Wow, where do I start? She isn't Chinese. She's actually about 50% Puyama (a tribe indigenous to Taiwan), about 25% Dawu (another tribe indigenous to Taiwan), and about 25% Han Chinese.
Okay, so she is Chinese. A quarter Chinese.
But, even if she were 100% Chinese, here's a quick lesson. Any statement beginning "All _________ kids are" is always wrong.
Well, almost always. The statement, "All Dingle kids are cute," is absolutely true.
"I bet you're glad you got her so young so you don't have to deal with all the problems with orphans who are older."
Um, yes, we're glad we got her young. There are definite benefits to that.
But we planned to adopt an older child. And we still hope to do so someday.
Because I know people know this already, but it's worth saying: those older children who (might, but might not) have problems? They're orphans.
As in, they don't have a mom or dad or other family member caring for them.
That's a problem.
And, quite frankly, that's a problem that many of us could solve. Not for every child, but for one, either through adoption or through supporting someone else's adoption.
"It's so cool that the ministry where Zoe lived works with many mothers to help them parent their children so that they can have an option other than adoption."
Yes. That is very, very cool.
The reason this one makes my heart ache is that not enough ministries like Morning Light exist. At Morning Light, their focus isn't adoptions. Sure, they facilitate them, and they do it well.
However, their purpose is to function as a crisis pregnancy center. That involves not just counseling mothers to choose other options than abortion, but it also means they support moms after they choose life. If that means providing housing, they do that; the mothers' home is a three story building with dorm rooms. If that means they need something to eat, they have a food bank that includes, yes, food but also diapers and formula and other necessities. If that means they choose adoption but need counseling and support as they move forward, they have it. And if it means that they don't want to meet their child's adoptive parents or see their child again after she is born, well, they honor that too.
Oh, how I wish we could have met Zoe's first mother for so many reasons.
As I started to write this, I didn't mean to end it in this way, but I really, truly, wholeheartedly love the missionaries who served Zoe and her friends so well... so if you are willing to sacrifice something to benefit this precious couple who is sacrificing themselves daily to serve the people of Taitung (and I forgot to add above, sharing Christ with those they serve, in addition to meeting their earthly needs), here's where you can make a tax-deductible donation to the crucial work they do:
Let's talk. I won't turn your words into a post. I promise.
"Well, of course she's stubborn. All Chinese kids are."
Wow, where do I start? She isn't Chinese. She's actually about 50% Puyama (a tribe indigenous to Taiwan), about 25% Dawu (another tribe indigenous to Taiwan), and about 25% Han Chinese.
Okay, so she is Chinese. A quarter Chinese.
But, even if she were 100% Chinese, here's a quick lesson. Any statement beginning "All _________ kids are" is always wrong.
Well, almost always. The statement, "All Dingle kids are cute," is absolutely true.
"I bet you're glad you got her so young so you don't have to deal with all the problems with orphans who are older."
Um, yes, we're glad we got her young. There are definite benefits to that.
But we planned to adopt an older child. And we still hope to do so someday.
Because I know people know this already, but it's worth saying: those older children who (might, but might not) have problems? They're orphans.
As in, they don't have a mom or dad or other family member caring for them.
That's a problem.
And, quite frankly, that's a problem that many of us could solve. Not for every child, but for one, either through adoption or through supporting someone else's adoption.
"It's so cool that the ministry where Zoe lived works with many mothers to help them parent their children so that they can have an option other than adoption."
Yes. That is very, very cool.
The reason this one makes my heart ache is that not enough ministries like Morning Light exist. At Morning Light, their focus isn't adoptions. Sure, they facilitate them, and they do it well.
However, their purpose is to function as a crisis pregnancy center. That involves not just counseling mothers to choose other options than abortion, but it also means they support moms after they choose life. If that means providing housing, they do that; the mothers' home is a three story building with dorm rooms. If that means they need something to eat, they have a food bank that includes, yes, food but also diapers and formula and other necessities. If that means they choose adoption but need counseling and support as they move forward, they have it. And if it means that they don't want to meet their child's adoptive parents or see their child again after she is born, well, they honor that too.
Oh, how I wish we could have met Zoe's first mother for so many reasons.
As I started to write this, I didn't mean to end it in this way, but I really, truly, wholeheartedly love the missionaries who served Zoe and her friends so well... so if you are willing to sacrifice something to benefit this precious couple who is sacrificing themselves daily to serve the people of Taitung (and I forgot to add above, sharing Christ with those they serve, in addition to meeting their earthly needs), here's where you can make a tax-deductible donation to the crucial work they do:
CENTRAL MISSIONARY CLEARINGHOUSE
P.O. Box 219228
Houston, Texas 77218-9228
Include a note that the donation is for: Luke & Deana Pan/Morning Light
In addition to one-time donations, they are in need of donors to sponsor mothers in the mother's home with monthly donations. We'll be doing that starting next month.
Let me end this post by saying, once again, please don't be afraid to say something to us, lest we be bothered by it. We want to be an open book about what God has done in our lives through adoption, so feel free to ask away!
And here's another post for you adoption-loving folk. Shaun Groves will be mc'ing for the Together for Adoption conference in Atlanta in September, and I've heard great things about it!
Let me end this post by saying, once again, please don't be afraid to say something to us, lest we be bothered by it. We want to be an open book about what God has done in our lives through adoption, so feel free to ask away!
And here's another post for you adoption-loving folk. Shaun Groves will be mc'ing for the Together for Adoption conference in Atlanta in September, and I've heard great things about it!