why you might want to have tissue in hand if you ask me where Jocelyn is going to school this year

January of this year just wasn't a good month for blog posts.

I started the month with a post about a shirt's logo that I liked and a conversation that Lee and I had about it, and people were confused by the meaning of the shirt. (In case you're still wondering, the designer of it meant the logo to be a display love for people with special needs.)

I ended the month with a post about our adoption and home-selling plans, which was followed by a post in February with completely different plans. (Way, way, way better plans, because they included our news about expecting Zoe).

And in the middle of the month? A post in which I explained that we would be sending Jocelyn to public school. 

And now?

I honestly don't know.

Here's what I do know:

• None of the current options with our school district would work well for our girl. (We moved after the choice rounds in our district, which means you get offered whatever kindergarten seats are left over. At this point, that's one school that is way far away from our house. Thanks, but no thanks.)
• We're still unwilling to consider private school, not only because we're still uncomfortable with the exclusion of kids with special needs from the private school we would otherwise consider but also because we'd like to adopt again in the future (and if we do have to fundraise again to do so, we want to be able to clearly say that we've made financial choices to support our adoption before asking others to support it as well).
• Any of the charter schools we might have considered are currently full. 
• It looks like homeschooling is the only other option on the table.

We're concurrently making plans for what homeschooling would look like this year, with a planned start date of September 10, and watching the student seat availability reports for our school district in hopes that something will open up or come close enough to opening up for the student assignment folks to offer us a seat. 

I interrupt this post to remind all of you that I LIKE PLANS. God has clearly deemed that 2012 is the year of teaching me to hold plans loosely and be more flexible, but some days I just want to curl up in the fetal position while hugging a planner and pretending that I have some control over my life. I am thankful that God is in control, and I do know that His plans are so much better than mine, but that doesn't mean I'm not struggling with the loss of the plans I expected.

So when you ask where Jocelyn is going to school this year, please forgive me if I force a huge smile, proudly announce that I think we're homeschooling but I'm not really sure because I still kind of hope that Plan A of the public school we really like will work out, and then promptly burst into tears. 

(You think I kid. I assure you that I do not.)