MUST READ: I Will Carry You by Angie Smith
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If I could only tell you one thing about I Will Carry You by Angie Smith, it would be this: You. MUST. Read. This. Book.
Seriously.
If you didn’t catch this from what I wrote above, let me rephrase it: I think every woman should read I Will Carry You, whether or not you’ve experienced the loss of a child. (And, guys, if your wife or another woman close to you has lost a child, you should read it too.) I haven’t lost a child, but I have supported friends who have. And this book spoke to corners of my life where I have experienced loss – loss of health, loss of dreams, loss of friends.
(The one loss neither Angie nor I have experienced was the loss of hope. Praise Jesus that hope rests in Him and not our circumstances!)
Angie Smith, the wife of the lead singer of Selah, wrote this tender book about the loss of her daughter Audrey. She was eighteen weeks pregnant when doctors told her that her baby had conditions that were incompatible with life. They chose for her to carry Audrey throughout the rest of the pregnancy, and this book chronicles their story – from beginning of pregnancy and beyond the end of Audrey’s life on earth.
It’s a tough book. A get-yourself-a-whole-box-of-tissues kind of book. It will break your heart. But, somehow, it will encourage you at the same time. It’s encouraging because of things like her reaction immediately after getting the news about that her baby isn’t expected to survive. When the doctor asks what she’s thinking, she says, “I think my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked through that door.” Amen to that.
She dives into the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead in great detail. I will never look at that passage the same way. Here’s what she wrote about John 11:35 (which, as the shortest verse in the Bible, says “Jesus wept”):
We don’t have a God who is oblivious to our human experience. Instead, Hebrews 4:15-16 tells us this: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” What a blessing it is that we can approach His throne! Christ prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, acknowledging the Father’s ability to do anything and asking for the cup of suffering to be taken from Him … and then (get this!) prays, “Yet not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 14:36 and Matthew 26:39) and “may your will be done” (Matthew 26:42).
In Gethsemane, Christ serves as the perfect example of how we can approach suffering, asking for a change in circumstance but submitting whether God says yes or no to our request. Angie isn’t a perfect example for us like Christ is, but she is a precious example of what it looks like for an imperfect woman to take a similar path. And her writing style is vulnerable and real enough to make me wish she was my best friend.
I wrote this at the beginning, and I’ll say it again: you must read this book. It is both heartbreaking and heartening at the same time. It may empty you of tears, but it will fill you with hope as well.
The FTC requires that I disclose that B&H Publishing Group provided this book for me to review. B&H, however, required nothing from me and didn't ask for a positive review or anything else. Therefore, I like the letters B&H more than F, T, or C, but I include this disclaimer because I also like not being fined by the FTC.
Seriously.
If you didn’t catch this from what I wrote above, let me rephrase it: I think every woman should read I Will Carry You, whether or not you’ve experienced the loss of a child. (And, guys, if your wife or another woman close to you has lost a child, you should read it too.) I haven’t lost a child, but I have supported friends who have. And this book spoke to corners of my life where I have experienced loss – loss of health, loss of dreams, loss of friends.
(The one loss neither Angie nor I have experienced was the loss of hope. Praise Jesus that hope rests in Him and not our circumstances!)
Angie Smith, the wife of the lead singer of Selah, wrote this tender book about the loss of her daughter Audrey. She was eighteen weeks pregnant when doctors told her that her baby had conditions that were incompatible with life. They chose for her to carry Audrey throughout the rest of the pregnancy, and this book chronicles their story – from beginning of pregnancy and beyond the end of Audrey’s life on earth.
It’s a tough book. A get-yourself-a-whole-box-of-tissues kind of book. It will break your heart. But, somehow, it will encourage you at the same time. It’s encouraging because of things like her reaction immediately after getting the news about that her baby isn’t expected to survive. When the doctor asks what she’s thinking, she says, “I think my Jesus is the same as He was before I walked through that door.” Amen to that.
She dives into the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead in great detail. I will never look at that passage the same way. Here’s what she wrote about John 11:35 (which, as the shortest verse in the Bible, says “Jesus wept”):
I want to share a beautiful distinction I came upon months after Audrey's death as I poured over these verses. At first glance it appears that Jesus, May, and Martha were sobbing together, but the original language of the text reveals that while Jesus was weeping (dakryo), the women were wailing (klaio). While Mary and Martha were crying out in agony over the loss of their brother, their tears moved Jesus, and He began to weep. This is the only occurrence of dakryo in the entire New Testament. He isn't crying over the death of Lazarus but rather the hurt He is experiencing with people He loves dearly. He isn't crying because the situation is hopeless, but because He is an empathetic God.
He knows that in a few moments Lazarus will walk out of the tomb.
He also knows they can't see that hope.
And neither can we.
There is a difference in despair and deep sadness over the time that will pass until we can see her again. It is a conscious, daily choice to experience dakryo, the sadness that allows one to grieve with the expectation of redemption.
We don’t have a God who is oblivious to our human experience. Instead, Hebrews 4:15-16 tells us this: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” What a blessing it is that we can approach His throne! Christ prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, acknowledging the Father’s ability to do anything and asking for the cup of suffering to be taken from Him … and then (get this!) prays, “Yet not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 14:36 and Matthew 26:39) and “may your will be done” (Matthew 26:42).
In Gethsemane, Christ serves as the perfect example of how we can approach suffering, asking for a change in circumstance but submitting whether God says yes or no to our request. Angie isn’t a perfect example for us like Christ is, but she is a precious example of what it looks like for an imperfect woman to take a similar path. And her writing style is vulnerable and real enough to make me wish she was my best friend.
I wrote this at the beginning, and I’ll say it again: you must read this book. It is both heartbreaking and heartening at the same time. It may empty you of tears, but it will fill you with hope as well.
The FTC requires that I disclose that B&H Publishing Group provided this book for me to review. B&H, however, required nothing from me and didn't ask for a positive review or anything else. Therefore, I like the letters B&H more than F, T, or C, but I include this disclaimer because I also like not being fined by the FTC.
was provided by Zonderkidz for me to review, and the four books have been requested - particularly by our little man, who loves animals of all kinds - many times this week. In the box, you'll find these books:
and 
. The stories are consistent with the accounts found in the Bible (with the Daniel one focusing on the lions’ den), and I’m happy to add a couple of biblical beginning readers to our library.
by Helen and David Haidle. I’ll use it during devotions, for science education during our preschool homeschool times, and as a welcome addition to our library. 
I definitely recommend. The subtitle of this book, 