Big L, little l, what begins with L?
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Love.
Laughter.
Life.
Loud!
Lips.
Leftover food on a lovely face.
Likelihood of injury?
"But what if we don't have someone with your background at our church?" (part 2 of 2)
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Yesterday, I posted part 1 of this post. (If you missed it, click here to read that first!) It focused on the qualities necessary for a special needs ministry coordinator. This is the promised second half, explaining why my certifications and degrees don't always amount to much on Sunday mornings, because...
(2) My prior experience isn't always helpful.
Let me qualify that statement with two stories:
While my background helps and while I know other special needs ministry coordinators with similar backgrounds, it's not necessary. Because, experienced or not, it's God who is ultimately in control. If we truly believe that there is a biblical basis for special needs ministry, then we also can believe that God is able to provide and equip the right person to lead it at your church.
That may be someone on your staff (like Eden, who I mentioned yesterday), that may be a volunteer (like me), that may be someone who is already involved in your children's ministry (like I was), or that may be someone you don't know (like most of our one-on-one volunteers were until they responded to a blurb in the bulletin).
Pray for that person. And pray expecting God to provide the volunteers needed in His perfect timing.
(2) My prior experience isn't always helpful.
Let me qualify that statement with two stories:
- One Sunday, we had a child - who I'll call Brandon - join us. His family attends our church regularly, but they often have a neighbor watch Brandon instead of bringing him with them, so we had only seen him a handful of times before this particular Sunday. He has both Down syndrome and autism, a combination often abbreviated as DS+ASD. And that Sunday, whenever he was unhappy and couldn't communicate why, he spat. His one-on-one buddy brought him to me, unsure of what to do, after he had spat on blocks, at the guitar, at other children, and in the volunteer's face. I crouched down next to Brandon, and before I could begin talking to him, he spat in my face too.
Did I know what to do? No. Was my training particular useful in that moment? Not a whole lot.
So, as I talked to him, I prayed. A lot. I asked God to help me communicate in a way that made sense to Brandon, because I knew that this unsanitary behavior needed to change. I wasn't sure if he understood as we reentered the class, but I stayed with him and his buddy for the rest of the class, which was less than ten minutes. And he didn't spit again. (Thanks be to God!)
- The other great example is when I introduced myself to a mom. As I shared a little about my background with her, I unintentionally made myself seem like the great expert instead of a servant humbly seeking information from her about her child. I always intend to be a student of our families, and I wasn't in this instance. She saw that, and she made it pretty clear that she didn't appreciate it. It wasn't my best moment, and thankfully we've recovered from it...but I point it out to demonstrate that knowledge and experience can be a curse rather than a blessing if it isn't tempered with humility and a James 1:19 attitude (quick to listen, slow to speak).
While my background helps and while I know other special needs ministry coordinators with similar backgrounds, it's not necessary. Because, experienced or not, it's God who is ultimately in control. If we truly believe that there is a biblical basis for special needs ministry, then we also can believe that God is able to provide and equip the right person to lead it at your church.
That may be someone on your staff (like Eden, who I mentioned yesterday), that may be a volunteer (like me), that may be someone who is already involved in your children's ministry (like I was), or that may be someone you don't know (like most of our one-on-one volunteers were until they responded to a blurb in the bulletin).
Pray for that person. And pray expecting God to provide the volunteers needed in His perfect timing.
"But what if we don't have someone with your background at our church?" (part 1 of 2)
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Yes, I have a master's degree in special education. Yes, I taught for about four years. Yes, I used to work for an educational non-profit, creating training materials for special educators.
And, yes, all of that helps me coordinate special needs ministry at my church.
As such, one of the questions that comes up when I talk to folks is, "What if we don't have someone with that background here?" And my answer usually has two parts.
(1) You don't have to have prior experience related to special education to do this.
Sure, it can help. But Amy Fenton Lee at The Inclusive Church and Eden Hutchins at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church's Green Light Ministry are two women who I respect deeply and who excel in doing special needs ministry without the training and experience I have.
Here is my must have list for someone coordinating special needs ministry:
If you're seeking someone to coordinate ministry with adults, then the third item on the list still applies, though it would be better to say "communicate with the adult with special needs with humility and respect. " Also, you could possibly insert "group home staff" or "case manager" or "family members" instead of "parents" when that applies.)
Come back tomorrow for the second part of this, the second reason why my experience isn't vital to (and sometimes doesn't help me a whole lot in) my role as special needs ministry coordinator!
And, yes, all of that helps me coordinate special needs ministry at my church.
As such, one of the questions that comes up when I talk to folks is, "What if we don't have someone with that background here?" And my answer usually has two parts.
(1) You don't have to have prior experience related to special education to do this.
Sure, it can help. But Amy Fenton Lee at The Inclusive Church and Eden Hutchins at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church's Green Light Ministry are two women who I respect deeply and who excel in doing special needs ministry without the training and experience I have.
Here is my must have list for someone coordinating special needs ministry:
- A belief that this matters, that special needs ministry is important
- A willingness to do hard things, because it's not always easy (but it is worth it!)
- A desire to communicate with parents with humility, because while you should partner with parents in children's ministry no matter what, it becomes an absolute must when you're working with kids with special needs
- A resourceful approach to networking with others who know more: at other churches, in social agencies and non-profits, and on the Internet.
If you're seeking someone to coordinate ministry with adults, then the third item on the list still applies, though it would be better to say "communicate with the adult with special needs with humility and respect. " Also, you could possibly insert "group home staff" or "case manager" or "family members" instead of "parents" when that applies.)
Come back tomorrow for the second part of this, the second reason why my experience isn't vital to (and sometimes doesn't help me a whole lot in) my role as special needs ministry coordinator!
When it hits home
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At the end of my last post, I said that I would be posting yesterday about the qualities you want in a special needs ministry coordinator. That post is still coming, just not yesterday and probably not today.
Why?
Because this post is begging to be written first.
This is my upward view every other month. Why? Because I was ushered into the world of special needs in a personal way after the birth of my daughter.
My special needs are called Hashimoto's disease and rheumatoid arthritis, both of which are thankfully under control right now. Part of my RA being under control involves IV drugs every eight weeks. That's nothing compared to the medical baggage carried by many families with special needs, and - as long as my conditions are under control - I don't feel sick most of the time, and I only experience small limitations to mobility.
Even though I knew I would be hanging out with my IV tech yesterday, I didn't know that I would get a follow-up call. If you or anyone in your family has a medically-related special need, you probably know this feeling well: I hate seeing my doctor's office pop up on caller ID shortly after an appointment. In this case, it's that my bloodwork is not looking good for my liver and gallbladder. We've been down this road a bit before, so it wasn't completely unexpected. Except that it kind of was, because I thought we traveled that road for the last time in the fall.
I share this not to request prayer (though I certainly would appreciate that!) but to share a little example of what I hear from families with special needs at our church. Some weeks, months, years are good. Some are more difficult. In some moments, families forget about the special needs in their families, but in other moments they are much more obvious and in your face.
I have great doctors, and I have some appointments, including more tests and an ultrasound, scheduled with them to sort this out. I have great support in my husband and family and friends. I have a wonderful church family that loves us and prays for us and allows us to serve.
Life is good. It's just not always easy.
But God is good. Always. And His yoke is easy, His burden light, His rule sovereign, and His ways perfect.
Why?
Because this post is begging to be written first.
This is my upward view every other month. Why? Because I was ushered into the world of special needs in a personal way after the birth of my daughter.
My special needs are called Hashimoto's disease and rheumatoid arthritis, both of which are thankfully under control right now. Part of my RA being under control involves IV drugs every eight weeks. That's nothing compared to the medical baggage carried by many families with special needs, and - as long as my conditions are under control - I don't feel sick most of the time, and I only experience small limitations to mobility.
Even though I knew I would be hanging out with my IV tech yesterday, I didn't know that I would get a follow-up call. If you or anyone in your family has a medically-related special need, you probably know this feeling well: I hate seeing my doctor's office pop up on caller ID shortly after an appointment. In this case, it's that my bloodwork is not looking good for my liver and gallbladder. We've been down this road a bit before, so it wasn't completely unexpected. Except that it kind of was, because I thought we traveled that road for the last time in the fall.
I share this not to request prayer (though I certainly would appreciate that!) but to share a little example of what I hear from families with special needs at our church. Some weeks, months, years are good. Some are more difficult. In some moments, families forget about the special needs in their families, but in other moments they are much more obvious and in your face.
I have great doctors, and I have some appointments, including more tests and an ultrasound, scheduled with them to sort this out. I have great support in my husband and family and friends. I have a wonderful church family that loves us and prays for us and allows us to serve.
Life is good. It's just not always easy.
But God is good. Always. And His yoke is easy, His burden light, His rule sovereign, and His ways perfect.
"But what if I don't know where to start?"
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I had a great conversation with a pastor in Kentucky earlier this week. They have one family with special needs in their congregation, they don't think special needs ministry exists at any other local churches, and they feel like God is leading them to do something more than they already are doing.
And after they got to that point, they felt stuck. They know that it would be worthwhile to do something; they just don't know where to start.
This isn't a perfect list (and please chime in with a comment if you would add, reword, or delete anything here!), but here are my recommended step for starting a special needs ministry. They are mostly catered to children's ministry - not because you shouldn't aim for special needs ministry to other age groups but because most churches with special needs ministry started with kids first.
Tomorrow I'll be posting about the qualities you want to have in a person leading special needs ministry {it's now posted and can be found by clicking the linked text!}. Two hints: (1) it doesn't have to be a staff member (I'm not!) and (2) while background in special education is helpful, it isn't necessary.
And after they got to that point, they felt stuck. They know that it would be worthwhile to do something; they just don't know where to start.
This isn't a perfect list (and please chime in with a comment if you would add, reword, or delete anything here!), but here are my recommended step for starting a special needs ministry. They are mostly catered to children's ministry - not because you shouldn't aim for special needs ministry to other age groups but because most churches with special needs ministry started with kids first.
- PRAY!!! This should be a part of every step, but it's also a vital first step. You don't want to be the guiding force in this; that's God's job, and He's better at it than you'll ever be!
- Define what your primary goal(s) is for ministry to/with people without disabilities. If, for example, your goal in children's ministry is to make Christ known so that the next generation treasures Christ, then that would be your same goal for special needs children's ministry. The goal doesn't change, even if the way you get there might.
- Find allies within your church and beyond (potential volunteers, parents, community organizations and non-profits, other churches already doing special needs ministry). Keep your main goal(s) in mind, though, because you might not want to partner with secular groups for certain activities and you might want to exercise caution while working with churches that don't share the same goals or theological perspective with your church. Among these allies, find someone who can spearhead your special needs ministry (and, of course, that person might be you!).
- Aim to meet the needs that are already present in your church before you make plans to reach out to community. (Don't let this be a stopping point, though! I'm just suggesting that you don't neglect the needs already in your body of believers as you're considering outreach beyond the walls of your church.)
- Let parents train you - they are, after all, usually the ones who know their child and his/her special needs better than anyone else! If they agree to it, observe the child in his/her school setting, which will allow you to get a good idea of what the child's needs are and what strategies are already working in an educational setting. (And, if you can't observe the child at school, ask the parents about the school setting and goals.)
- In most cases, start with inclusion. This means including the child with special needs in a typical Sunday school class, ideally with kids who are the same age. If necessary, pair that child with a volunteer who works with him/her one-on-one to support that inclusion.
- Find ways to demonstrate the value of people with disabilities to the rest of your congregation. For example, at our last leadership team meeting for youth ministry, our pastor invited a student with special needs to lead our opening prayer time. This student is non-verbal, so Pastor Steve introduced him, explained that the student would be leading us in a time of silent prayer, and told the student to squeeze him on the shoulder when he was done praying so that Steve could end with "amen." Pastor Steve could have just prayed and then told the leaders that we value people with disabilities in our ministry, but that wouldn't have been as convincing.
- Communicate with the community that your church is one that welcomes people with special needs. This could be scary, because you are opening your doors wide open. However, if you are a welcoming church that is committed to special needs ministry, then why wouldn't you want your community to know that?
Tomorrow I'll be posting about the qualities you want to have in a person leading special needs ministry {it's now posted and can be found by clicking the linked text!}. Two hints: (1) it doesn't have to be a staff member (I'm not!) and (2) while background in special education is helpful, it isn't necessary.