"But what if it just seems too hard and requires too much?"

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You may think it's too hard. Special needs ministry will require too much. Maybe it hasn't been done before at your church. You may hear, "Well, we just don't have what it takes to..."

But, on this Resurrection Sunday evening, consider this:

Was the act of salvation too hard?

Did the cross require too much?

Had God sacrificing Himself ever been done before?

Did even the disciples trust that Christ had what it took to defeat death and the grave, as they mourned in hiding the day before He rose again?

It's Easter, y'all. It's a great day to remember - in light of special needs ministry and every other aspect of life - that God deals in the impossible. If you could do it on your own, you wouldn't need Him anyway.

Don't camp out on the Saturday before the resurrection, limited by your understanding of the present reality. Live and serve and rejoice in Sunday, in the complete lack of limitations on our God.

He is not here; he has risen, just as he said...
Matthew 28:6

Fridays from the Families: A new series launching next week (and guest posters wanted!)

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As I began this blog, I knew one crucial aspect could be missing: the personal, real-life experiences of individuals with special needs and their families. I am a momma, but neither of my children has special needs. I do have a couple of health issues, but none that require anything different for me on Sunday morning than anyone else would need. That's why I link to other blogs with that perspective whenever I can!

Enter Fridays from the Families. This series will run on Fridays (obviously!) and feature guest bloggers, some who I know in real life and some who I met online. I have a few lined up, and I have a few more in mind who I'll be emailing in the near future. And I'm thrilled to kick it off next week with Becky, who writes about life with Mozart, Picasso, and a Princess at http://paintingwithpicasso.blogspot.com! (I already have the post saved, and it is absolutely wonderful!)

Here's what I shared with each of the guest posters when I asked them to join us for this series:
The series will be one in which people with special needs and/or their family members share their successes and struggles with church and faith in light of their special needs. One trend I see is that churches who don't do special needs ministry have two reasons: (1) they don't know the realities and needs and/or (2) they are aware of the need but they don't know what to do or where to start. Letting those with special needs and their families offer their perspectives could help change that, I hope. And it can encourage those who are already working in special needs ministry.

With that in mind, the options for topics are pretty wide open. Here are some possibilities, but it's certainly not an exhaustive list:
how your faith has changed or matured since your child with special needs was born/diagnosed,  what church leaders should know about families and/or individuals with special needs and/or about your child's specific special needs, what has been more difficult at church for your family since you had a child with special needs, why it's important for you to be able to go to church and know that your child with special needs is being loved and cared for in children's ministry, what your spiritual goals are for your child (and how those do/don't differ from the goals you have for your children), what has/hasn't worked for your family at church, what advice you would offer to other parents who want to be involved with church but aren't sure how to do that with a child with special needs, or what ways you could see (or have seen) churches minister to families with special needs beyond Sunday morning
I know that's a long list, and I certainly wouldn't expect any single guest blogger to take on the full list! Basically, ANY topic related to special needs ministry and/or parenting a child with special needs would be fantastic. If there's something entirely different that you think would make a great post instead of any of the ideas listed above, feel free to run with that instead.
That description above gives you the gist of what I'm aiming for. It was, however, written to a parent of a young child, so I would adjust the suggestions for an adult with special needs who is posting or for another different family situation (such as siblings, parents with adult children, or spouses).

If you would be interested in guest posting for this ongoing series or if you know someone who would, please email me at shannon@theworksofgoddisplayed.com.

What's your ministry's elopement plan?

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No, no, I'm not talking about people running off to get married. I'm talking about one expression of several disabilities: elopement. It would be described in lay terms as wandering, running away, escaping, or darting off. We have a couple of repeat offenders on Sunday mornings in our ministry.

The two eloping fellows at our church happen to have Down syndrome, but preliminary reports from new research indicate that about half of kids with autism wander.

Below I have a list of tips for working with individuals who elope in ministry settings, but please leave a comment if you have anything else to add!
  • Talk with the parents/caregivers. If someone is eloping at church, it probably isn't the first time. What has worked in the past? What hasn't?
  • Be proactive. It's always best to avoid elopement if you can! This extends to planning space well (such as arranging the room so that no one has any reason to be near the door) and planning class activity well (so that individuals are less likely to wander). Also...
  • Pay attention, and try to figure out the cause(s). Behaviors don't just happen. If someone is eloping, odds are good that something is triggering that. Pay attention to what happens before the person tries to leave, including what other volunteers are doing, what classmates are doing, and how the individual is acting (frustrated? bored? overstimulated?). According to this research, parents reported the following reasons for elopement: the child enjoys exploring (54%), heads for a favorite place (36%), escapes demands/anxieties (33%), pursues special topic (31%), and/or escapes sensory discomfort (27%). In a church setting, that means a child might elope to get to his/her parents, to explore the rest of the church, or to escape from a loud or overstimulating class.
  • Be careful not to reward elopement. I know that sounds a little odd; I mean, why would you want to reward that? But consider this: one of our kids who elopes tends to run away, giggling and looking back with a huge grin. If it weren't so unsafe, it would be cute. (Okay, okay, it's a little cute either way!) It takes a lot of self-control not to giggle with him, but every time he sees a helper laugh at that behavior, it reinforces it. Don't reinforce a behavior that you don't want to continue. Don't act like it's a game; treat it as a serious safety matter, because it is one.
  • Plan transition times well. During our first two services, most kids go to the playground, and in our third service, children age four and up have small group time in their classes and then large group time in a bigger room. During the transitions from one place to another, I aim to position myself so that I can avoid a running situation with either of our kids who elopes. 
  • Make it more difficult to elope. In the past, we've used chimes on doors, baby gates in classes that usually wouldn't have them, and closed doors in classes that would usually have the door open. Also, we have arranged class environments so that no one in the class is by the door at any time other than pick up and drop off. Speaking of that...
  • Have a plan for pick-up and drop-off times. Classes tend to be a little more chaotic at those times, as do church hallways. Exercise extra caution and prevention in those instances, and plan activities that keep the person who elopes away from the door. 
  • Ensure that you have enough volunteers. We know the parable of the 99 sheep that Jesus told, in which the man leaves his 99 sheep in search of the one that is missing. That is a wonderful parable and a good reminder of why we want to welcome these families, because otherwise we're sending that one sheep away from a church. However, it's not good or safe ministry practice to emulate it by leaving the rest of the class unattended while you go in search of the person who wandered off. Make sure the rest of the class will be fine with other volunteers while one pursues the wanderer (two if the individual might be in a more remote area, because it's never wise or safe practice to create a situation in which the volunteer will be alone with the child).
  • Make sure other key staff and volunteers are aware of the best ways to respond when they see someone eloping. This might not be any different from what you would do if any other child ran off. Or it might involve specific tips for the child or adult in question; for example, if a child is fearful of strangers, it might be best for an unknown stranger to follow the child until a known helper arrives.
 And, to highlight why this is important, consider these points copied from the research report I linked to above (which involved surveys of more than 800 parents):
  • More than one third of children who elope are never or rarely able to communicate their name, address, or phone number verbally or by writing/typing
  • Two in three parents report their missing children had a "close call" with a traffic injury
  • Wandering was ranked among the most stressful ASD [autism spectrum disorder] behaviors by 58% of parents of elopers
  • 62% of families with children who elope were prevented from attending/enjoying activities outside the home due to fear of wandering
  • 40% of parents had suffered sleep disruption due to fear of elopement
  • Children with ASD are eight times more likely to elope between the ages of seven and 10 than their typically-developing siblings
Please don't miss in these stats that parents of children who elope are often stressed out - not sleeping, not participating in typical activities. Find ways to show them love and, if possible, give them a break. Sunday morning can be that break, as can respite care (which I'll post more about next week).
    For resources related to elopement, go here. Also, the National Autism Association, in collaboration with the American Legion Child Welfare Foundation, is offering a box of resources and information for parents, including door alarms and shoe ID tags. You can direct caregivers to this link to fill out a form to apply for a free safety box.

    Which of the tips above do you think is most useful? Are there other tips you would add?

    Easter egg hunt!

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    Six days after our wedding, Lee and I were blessed to be able to join a fantastic group of young married couples who meet together to study the Bible every Sunday morning. Two years ago we left that class to teach the 9th grade class and then to coordinate special needs ministry, but we still have wonderful friends in the class. Knowing that we're not in an adult Sunday school class, the leaders in that class are sweet to invite us to be engaged in non-Sunday events ... like the class Easter egg hunt on Sunday afternoon!

    Jocelyn was so proud of her pink glittery egg!


    But Robs didn't care for the wait to dye eggs. He started several, only to walk away when he realized that he didn't get a colorful egg back immediately. (You know that delayed gratification experiment? I think Robs is the kid who would only get one marshmallow.)


    The lineup begins (complete with a streamer starting line!)


    Philip was obviously making a very important point, given the big gestures.


    And I'm not quite sure that Shannon agrees with Kevin about the bucket hat concept for Caleb.

     

    Almost ready!


    I wish this wasn't so blurry. I just love the smiles between Will and Becca!


    Caitlin did a superb job coordinating everything! I think she was explaining where the kiddos could find the eggs. From the looks of the kiddos, I think they were all scoping out eggs rather than paying attention.


    Actually, Camden was attentive! He's such a good kid. (And he was the oldest there, so I suppose it makes sense that he has the best attention span!)


    I was trying to get a good shot of Becca and Anna-Kate or Jenelle and Leiana. I ended up with a good one of Jenelle and Becca. The little girls were too interested in everything else!


    Doesn't it look like Lee and David are laying out a strategy for Robbie and John David?  "Okay, boys, here's how we're gonna run this play..."


    And the line breaks! (And, by the way, I promise I just took a lot of pictures in a short time period - they weren't waiting all that long!)


    And they're off, with the big kids in the lead...


    ...while the little kids still don't quite understand what's happening.


    Yep, I don't think Jocelyn or Camden needed much instruction, huh? (Though it does look like sweet Cam is looking back to see how Anderson is doing. Meanwhile, Jocelyn isn't concerned at all about Robs.)


    The rest slowly get it, with help from moms and dads.


    And because Jocelyn is big enough to do it all on her own (the clever gal ran off to the backyard to hunt from those eggs while everyone else was still out front!) and because my wonderful man was helping Robs, I could just be the momma with a camera. I did get some funny looks from the kids who don't know me as well, but it was fun to document all their fun, like Jenn helping JD here:


    Lee pointed out an egg to Leiana and Robs...


    ...and they both ignored him. Poor Lee!


    And, of course, I wasn't the only one with a camera, as evidenced by all these shots of other cameras in action or in hand!





    Once Robs realized that there were snacks or candy in each egg, he saw no need to continue hunting. He would find an egg and eat the contents before moving on!


    And now since the pictures are more interesting than my words, I'll just let them do the talking...




     























    (And why yes, in case you were wondering, Leiana can stuff an entire Easter cake from Little Debbie in her mouth.)





















     








    what stood out at our last special needs ministry training

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     After a recent leadership training, I got an email from one of our volunteers who serves as a one-on-one buddy with a child with special needs each Sunday. She also works in the field of special education. (And she's wonderful. Just saying.)

    At our training, we focused on confidentiality and a new sub system and strategies for working with individuals with limited verbal communication skills. What part did she thank me specifically for? None of those things.

    Loved the verses you gave us as to why we serve these precious children.  Helps me in my job as well!

    Whenever I talk about special needs ministry, I always begin with prayer and a passage of Scripture. It's not just for the benefit of those I'm speaking to - it's for me. I'm a task-driven person who can easily dive into the doing without grounding myself in the reason. The Reason. God.

    If you're involved with special needs ministry, if you're invested in a different ministry area, if you're a parent to a child with special needs, if you have some sort of disability yourself, if you work in special education...simply if you're a believer, then I urge you to do the same. Start with prayer and the Word of God; anything else is secondary.

    Furthermore, this is a big week of activity for many ministries and churches and families, but all the activity is worthless if we overlook Christ in the busy-ness. Don't just focus on what you need to do each week; focus on why you're doing it.

    The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
    {1 Corinthians 12:21-26}

    ~+~
    Also, here are a couple articles online you might want to check out: