“But what if they can’t understand the teaching?”: How can they be saved? (Fridays from the Families)

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Yesterday I broke this question into two separate ones: (1) But what am I supposed to do on Sunday morning if they can’t understand the teaching? (which I posted about yesterday) and (2) But how can I think and preach soteriologically if they can’t understand the teaching. In other words, can they be saved in the typical sense of how we consider salvation through faith?

This is the harder question. And, while I will post in more length at some point about this when I am able to take time to gather the words to do so, for now I’m going to pass the ball to Greg Lucas. He’s the guy who wrote the book I highly recommended a couple weeks ago, Wrestling with An Angel. As the dad of a child who has disabilities, he has wrestled with this question. And, finally, he answers it better than I can.

The reason I recommend his response is two-fold:
  1. It’s scriptural. Most of the answers I’ve found in my searches on this topic are based on feelings rather than the Bible. When we make theological judgments from the gut instead of from the Word, we’re standing on the wrong foundation even if we deliver the right answer.
  2. It acknowledges that God is God and we are not. I sometimes forget that when I’m searching for an answer to any question. I like answers. I like facts. I’m not comfortable, most of the time, with questions and mystery and empty blanks. But, as a believer, there are times when I have to rest in God’s sovereignty as I say, “I don’t know, but he does, and that’s good enough for me.” As we teach and preach, we need to be mindful that we are not the source of all answers. It is not our job to provide answers but to point to Christ. He is our answer. As Spurgeon preached in 1865, “If I might only have it to utter one sentence, it would be this one, ‘Your help is found in Christ.’” (Charles H. Spurgeon, Memory: The Handmaid of Hope)
 So check out Greg’s answer below (reprinted with permission, originally posted here). And rest in God’s sovereignty.

“For by grace you are saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

The more I try to comprehend the sovereignty of God in salvation, the more I am astounded by His grace. That even the faith to believe is a gift given to those who deserve only His just wrath.

So the sovereign Lord gives us faith in His Son and we believe that Jesus came, lived a perfect life and died a sacrificial death for the payment of our sins. All the wrath of the Father justly reserved for us was cast upon His Son. All the righteousness of Jesus is transferred to us by grace through the work of the cross.

As one preacher so simply stated, “On the cross, God treated Jesus as if He had lived your life, so He could treat you as if you had lived His.” A profound paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 5:21

All of this is obtained by grace through faith. I understand that.

What I don’t understand is how this is applied, or better yet, how this works itself out in the life of an individual who cannot respond in faith, who cannot even speak, or who does not have the ability to comprehend the truth of the gospel.

I’m not thinking of the native in a far unreached part of the world that at least has a general revelation to point him towards more specific revelation.

I am thinking about my 17 year old son who has the mental capacity of a 2 year old.

I know Jake is a sinner—boy do I know. And I know that he is in desperate need of a Savior. I also know that salvation comes through repentance and faith, neither of which have I ever seen or could imagine seeing in my son’s life.

He does not understand the cross, or the sacrifice that was made. He knows nothing of his Adamic nature or fallen state. I’m not even sure that he treasures Christ above Jelly Belly’s or Santa Clause. So how can he be saved? How is the gift of faith applied to his lack of comprehension of the gospel?

I believe it all comes back to the main application of salvation for each of us—God’s undeserving grace. Yes, Jake is sinful. And yes, he is in desperate need of a savior. If he is saved from the just wrath of God, he will be saved by faith, but how that faith is gifted to him and in what capacity it is made manifest is still only through the mystery of God’s amazing grace.

I rest in that grace, not only for my own salvation, but for the salvation of my son.

I’m sure there is a lot of systematic theology that could be applied at this point, but I am not a theologian, I am a father. However, I do hope that no one mistakes my emotional parental response for a lack of searching the scriptures diligently for a solid answer to this important question.

I have poured over God’s promises like a doctor searching for a cure of the deadly disease in his own child, looking for hope and confidence in this grey area of my son’s life. There are many passages that give hints to the question I pose, but in the end I believe the passage in Ephesians 2 brings the most peace to my own soul—that Jake’s state is really no different from my own.

We are both separated from God by sin, in desperate need of a savior, and even if it is faith that appropriates our salvation, this faith is not our own doing—it is the gift of God. So that in the end our boast and our only hope is in the mysterious, amazing grace of God.

How will my son be saved?

“For by grace you are saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

I rest hopeful in God’s promises.

“But what if they can’t understand the teaching?”: Teaching how-to

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A few months ago, I was speaking with a woman I admire and respect, the wife of a seminary professor. She is a teaching assistant in a special education class, and as she and I talked about her students, she shared, “I agree that special needs ministry matters. But as I, for example, work with one of my girls who I love and who has autism and who can’t communicate in any way right now, I don’t know what it would look like to teach her about Jesus.”

At that point, our conversation was interrupted, and I wasn’t sure at the time how to answer her heartfelt comment. I’ve heard the question posed before, though, and it’s one that begs to be answered.

It’s actually two questions in one: (1) But what am I supposed to do on Sunday morning if they can’t understand the teaching? and (2) But how can I think and preach soteriologically if they can’t understand the teaching? In other words, can they be saved?

Today I’ll take the easier of the two, the first one. Tomorrow, though, I’ll wade into the deeper waters of question two. (Well, to be honest, I'll let a dad I highly respect wade into those waters for me.)

If you’ve read my blog much, you know that I like answering questions with other questions. So, here goes: Do you ask, “how do I show Jesus to the babies in our nursery?” I’m guessing not. I guessing you love them and rock them and push them in strollers and change their diapers and give bottles and all those other practical actions that are necessary for welcoming them into your congregation.

Why do those working in the nursery change diapers? Because the child needs that. Why are they held instead of just left in cribs to cry? Because that’s how you show love to a little one. How do you tell them about Jesus? By singing simple truths like “Jesus loves me.” By serving them. By reading Bible storybooks written at their levels. By reflecting Christ in your actions. By doing every developmentally appropriate thing you can to point them to Christ.

And so it is with those with significant special needs. You share truth at their level. You serve. You read Bible stories. You reflect Christ in word and deed. You do every developmentally appropriate thing you can to point them to Christ.

That’s what you do if you’re not sure they can understand. Because some day they might understand, just as the infants in the nursery grow up to be children who grasp the basic truths shared with them when they were still in the crib. And because 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us that what we see is limited, but God's view of the heart is complete, so only he knows the extent to which his truth is penetrating there.

But the Lord said to Samuel, 
“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, 
because I have rejected him. 
For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, 
but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

What if the healing comes? And what if it doesn’t?

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We love good news. It’s wired into us. Gospel literally means good news. We’re wired to respond to the that ultimate good news, so it’s only natural that stories like these can be heart-warming:
We celebrate over good news. It makes headlines.

Meanwhile, you don’t see headlines for “middle school boy with autism who didn’t speak until age three still only says a dozen words.” Or “Selah seniors are discouraged.” Or “paralyzed bride aims to walk down the aisle but isn’t able to do it.” Those don’t make great lead stories. They are, however, real life for many families. And the other type of headline-making stories, the tragedies, are also real life, even though I wish they weren't: stories like this one in which a seven-year-old boy with autism was found dead in a creek after wandering away the day before.

When we read or tweet or talk about stories with good news, we exult. We shout, “Praise God!” We celebrate Christ. We say, “God is good.” We rejoice.

But is God no longer good in the other instances, the situations that don’t make headlines? Can we still rejoice, even when the outcome isn’t as exciting or when it's devastating?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Philippians 4:4

Even if your child never speaks, God is still faithful. Even if God doesn’t heal your cerebral palsy, He is still faithful. Even if God doesn’t fulfill the dream you have for your child, He is still faithful.

How do I know that? Because God is clear in his word about who He is and what He does. He makes promises, and then he keeps them. I have heard it said that the entire Bible could be summarized as promises made (in the Old Testament) and promises kept (in the New Testament).

I don't worship desirable outcomes; I worship a God who is far more than anything I could ever desire.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

He has a purpose and plan, even when I don't understand it and can't see it. And his plans are good, resulting in his glory and our good.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, 
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 
plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 
who have been called according to his purpose.  
Romans 8:28

A sweet friend of mine experienced the sudden death of her father this week. In a message to me, she wrote, "God IS faithful, but as you can imagine, this is a very sad time for us." In Ecclesiastes 3:4, we read that there is a time to mourn. It is okay to grieve when our lives here on earth are filled with the heartache and tears and trials that will all pass away in heaven but that are all acutely felt here and now. I've heard that described as heavenly homesickness. It's the tension of knowing that God will provide healing in his time - if not on earth, then in heaven - but not yet experiencing the promised healing that will come. 

God can heal, and sometimes he does that healing on earth. If he heals, he is faithful. If he does not heal until heaven, he is faithful. When life goes as we’d like, he is faithful.

And when it doesn’t? He is still faithful.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.
He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, 
 and God himself will be with them as their God.  
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, 
neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, 
for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:3-4
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John Knight's post on the Desiring God site yesterday also touches on some of these points. It is well worth the read (as is anything else John writes).

Also, please check out this post, in which Family Ministry Today interviews me about special needs ministry and our church's Treasuring Christ curriculum. And here are the interviews of two other members of our team (about the curriculum, not special needs ministry): Kim Davidson and Pastor Steve Wright, as well as an overview post here.

Ministering with an attitude of superiority?

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Do you think you’re better than the people with special needs at your church and in your community?

No, seriously. Before you give a knee jerk “no, course not!” think about it first.

I don’t think it’s uncommon to minister – in any ministry, not just this one – with an attitude of superiority. Pride is sneaky and pervasive. Humility can be fleeting and faked.

Here are some questions to ask yourself. They're ones I ask myself regularly.
  • Do I talk about “ministering to” others more than I talk about “ministering with” them?
  • Am I more concerned about developing my own talents or helping others grow in their God-given giftedness?
  • Am I concerned about my name being known by others or God’s name being esteemed as great?
  • Am I easily offended?
  • How do I feel if I work really hard on something but someone else gets the credit?
  • Do I find myself talking about people with special needs as a homogenous group who needs me (helping them, serving them, and so on) or as individuals who, like me, are created by God and in need of a Savior?
  • When parents react negatively to something I do, am I quick to get angry or do I examine myself and my actions first?
  • Am I willing to admit when I don’t know the answer to something?
  • Am I eager to learn from and listen to someone else?
All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be,
declares the Lord.
But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at my word.
{Isaiah 66:2}

The night before Christ’s death, what did he do? Washed the grime and filth from the feet of his disciples, including Judas. He did not consider himself too good or too great or, simply put, too God to kneel at their feet and do the work of a servant. If he did not act as if he was impressed with himself, what right do I have to act that way?

I don’t deserve the glory. He does.

May I never forget that.

How do you guard against pride in ministry?

Monday round-up!

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I regularly have a ridiculous number of browser windows open, because I don't want to forget about various articles from around the web. Several other bloggers I admire do weekly round-up posts, each with a list of links of interest from the previous week. I'm not sure yet if this will be a regular thing, but I do know it's today's post!

Great post about the grace shown to one momma and her daughter during VBS at a church that's doing a lot of right things in welcoming families with special needs!

So thankful that Pamela Wilson, the voice behind Bella Online's Special Needs Children's Site, was able to encourage this woman when she found out her child had Down syndrome. Verklepmt indeed, Pamela!

I think it would be great to create a series of panels like these to post around our church with statements about each child's worth in God and to the church. While this campaign's focus was kids with Down syndrome, I would include kids with other special needs as well.

Not sure that there's anything to be said about this, but I was struck by the juxtaposition of a story about a girl with Down syndrome who wasn't allowed to fly as an unassisted minor on a British Airways flight despite being fairly independent and another story about Quatari airports' taking extra measures to be welcoming to people with special needs. (And, FYI for those in the US, here's the TSA's site about traveling with disabilities or other special needs.)

Next up: I'll be writing more about this in the future, but I've found much food for thought in Dr. Steve Grcevich's post on Special Needs Ministry about the rate of depression among dads of children with autism and this post about reaching out to moms and dads in different ways. As we're seeking to welcome families who have children with special needs, how can we make sure it's not just mom + kids who we're welcoming while dad is ignored and disengaged?

Barb's post about using teen volunteers in disability ministry resonated with me, because I am blessed to have a summer intern who is a rising senior in high school. (And she rocks. We love you, Kelsey!) And then I came across this blurb about the winners of a property owner's association's scholarships, noting that one winner had opportunities to serve in her church's special needs ministry and is now preparing for a degree in occupational therapy to work professionally with the same population. We miss out in encouraging the passions of the next generation if we don't include them in meaningful service in the body of Christ! (And have I mention that we love Kelsey and our other student volunteers?)

Wayne Stock's post about recruiting volunteers was timely for me, as I look at the needs in our ministry. When I was involved in recruitment for Teach For America, we were trained to be starkly honest about the difficulties but just as transparent about the rewards. We didn't want to scare folks off, but we also didn't want to be peddling lies either, especially because we found that corps members recruited that way might join but would then quit quickly or stay unhappily. The same is true in ministry. (And you might also want to check out another post by Wayne on the same blog: Nine Special Needs Blogs for Kidmin, in which I'm humbled to be included.)

Two posts by Cassi LeTourneau, who blogs at Treasure the Rain, were featured on The Inclusive Church (Amy Fenton Lee's blog) last week, and they are possibly the two best special needs ministry blog posts I've ever read: Ministering to Parents of Children with Special Needs and 5 Things I Learned After Becoming Involved in Disabilities Ministry

And, finally, I enjoy Ron Edmondson's take on how you can guarantee that no one disagrees with your leadership.

(And, if you're still reading after this random collage of thoughts and links, would you mind leaving a comment to let me know if you'd like to see a weekly post like this or if I should just stick with writing a typical post on Mondays? Thanks!)