a rant on injustice

This is a different sort of blog post. It's not refined. It's not planned or calculated or all that intentional.

And it's not exactly the kind of post I usually write, so feel free to ignore this and come back tomorrow.

I started this as a link included in yesterday's round-up. But when the explanation became multiple paragraphs, I knew I couldn't just leave it there.

Here's an article about the Las Lomas colonia just outside of Rio Grande City in Texas. It has nothing and everything to do with this blog. Nothing, because it's about the realities of (usually illegal) immigrant families from Mexico. Everything, because I taught students from this colonia for two years.

A binder from one student still sits on my shelf, his name on the spine so I can see it every day. No one in his life cared about him, and I couldn't care enough to make up for all the neglect and pain in his life. I know he dropped out; I've heard he's serving time. I pray for him daily, and I couldn't make it through this paragraph without tears.

I do what I do - in writing this blog and in serving in special needs ministry at my church - in part because of the memory of the boy whose name is on that binder I see every day and because of the other boys and girls who captured my heart in South Texas. I write because so many other teachers didn't care enough about them to teach them before they showed up in my middle school class, woefully unprepared because previous special education classes were more focused on babysitting than actually teaching and because teachers like me were asked to switch to general education "because you're wasted on these kids and we want you to be teaching kids who deserve you." (Yes, those words were said to me by an administrator. No, I did not switch, and I even managed to hold my tongue to avoid telling that administrator exactly what I thought he deserved.)

I care enough to spend hours and energy and tears and sweat over special needs ministry because I don't want to see people with disabilities cast aside like so many of my students were, and I especially don't want to see that in the church. The colonias you can read about in this article changed me. It changed me to visit kids in homes with dirt floors and a hole in the corner for a toilet. It changed me to be given homework pages that had been soaked during rains because Las Lomas flooded badly. It changed me to have to fight so hard for each of my kids, against so much apathy and so many other obstacles.

And now that I have kids? To consider all of that from the perspective of a mother? I am undone by that.

I didn't mean to make this into its own post, but I'm beyond frustrated that so many people can become indignant over the injustice of one court case while remaining apathetic about the many injustices we encounter - and ignore - every day. (Nevermind that it seemed like more people were outraged by the outcome of said trial than by the death that preceded it.)

It hurts to feel. It can be exhausting to face injustice. It is painful to let our hearts be broken by the things that break God's heart.

But what about the alternatives? Not caring. Ignoring injustice. Living a self-absorbed life. Saying "well, my kid doesn't have special needs..." or "I was born in a country with opportunities..." as an excuse to throw away knowledge of those whose lives are different from our own.

Care. And not just about some kids on the Mexican border or the little girl whose mother was found not guilty. Care about the people in your neighborhood and in your city and at your church.

Don't just talk about injustice; care about it.

Don't turn away. Spend yourself for the Repairer of Broken Walls.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
   and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
   and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
   and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
   and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? 

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
   and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
   and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. 

Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
   you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. 

   “If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
   with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
   and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
   Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. 

{Isaiah 58:6-12}

Weekly round-up! {7/11/11}

Happy Monday! Today we are exactly two months away from the new Sunday school year (and in need of at least seven more volunteers each Sunday morning) and about three months away from our first respite care event. I would appreciate it if you could take a moment to pray for our plans for each, that God may be glorified and his love made known.

(And, while you're at it, a stomach bug is running through my house right now, so prayers for health would be appreciated - particularly for mine, because I'm due for an IV treatment for rheumatoid arthritis on Thursday, and I'll have to postpone it if I'm sick. I'm already struggling with daily activities because my last IV is wearing off, so a delay would not be ideal.)

And now to the links...

Welcoming Special Needs Families: Both Jason and I commented on a blog post a few weeks ago at Ministry Matters, and he was asked to follow up with an article. I am so glad they asked him to do that, because this article is worth reading (and thanks, Jason, for emailing me to let me know about the article)!

And to continue my trend of highlighting new pieces about churches who are engaging in special needs ministry, here's one about a church's VBS program including individuals with special needs and another about a church's plans to go to a summer camp for kids with disabilities in Georgia. And here's one about a woman in London who is passionate about including people with autism in churches.

In less positive news, though, here's a piece from England in which the title shares the tragedy: Thousands of being are being aborted over 'disability' My nephew - the handsome fellow on the right - was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate; while the surgeries he needed in the first year of life were not easy, it blows my mind to know that abortions are being performed just to avoid that. Here's an encouraging blog post on a related topic by John Knight: Let us tell our stories and ask God to change things

Which leads me to my next set of links, which are all posts from John's blog this week:
-Sometimes Jesus healed by touching people
-Sometimes Jesus healed them all. Sometimes he didn't.
-And two posts about the sadness and joy of his son's 16th birthday: I am sad. But only for a vapors breath. and She opens her mouth with wisdom...

I'm not sure if they re-did it recently, but Lifeway's Special Needs page seems more user-friendly and helpful than it used to be. Even if I'm just imagining things, you should still visit it if you haven't stopped by before! They have great resources.

Family Relationships with a Complicated Diagnosis: Pamela Wilson does a great job once again.

I regularly enjoy 22 words, but I don't usually link over to it. I'm making an exception for 5 pieces of art by children with autism.

I've been a fan of Missy's blog for a long time now, and I love this post about designer babies and a Designer God.

Finally, here's my friend Katie's recent post about different models of special needs ministry. Please read it, and then heed her request at the end: "What approach has worked for you and your church? Leave a comment here, so that others can learn from your experiences!"

And come on back tomorrow for an atypical rant from me that began with a link I was going to include in today's post ... that is, until my commentary on it turned into something long enough to warrant a whole post of its own.

Living sacrifices {Romans 12:1-2}

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, 

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, 

holy and acceptable to God, 

which is your spiritual worship.  

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, 

that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2 {ESV}

Fridays from the Families: Trying church again

I came across this post on the blog autism (and other stuff), and Laurie agreed to let me repost it here. She and her husband have two sons, one with autism and one without, and I love what she writes in her about me section: "Autism does not define me as a person or parent, but has sent me on some unexpected road trips." She has shared a couple encouraging updates with me about how her family is doing at church since she posted this, so this has a happy ending! Read on...

There are many reasons that attending church with our children has not been the best fit for us in the past. The bright lights of the sanctuary, the booming voice of the pastor, even the choir and the number of people walking in the hallways were more than our oldest son could bear (Not to mention the unkind sneers and whispers that we tried to ignore, but sometimes couldn't).

We have tried mellow services, alternative day services, contemporary services and bible schools. Most attempts have lead to serious meltdowns either before, during, or after the service...OR all of the above! (More than once I have had to explain why their is a child, running down the aisle, covering his ears and yelling, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Some people were kind and others were, well, not-so-kind. Sad.)

Some families with children who have autism already feel isolated from society for various reasons. For us, we were a young military family when our son was diagnosed and had just transitioned to a new city; needless to say it was tough and we NEEDED the support that a great church could have offered us. Unfortunately, our experiences were such that, whether out of exhaustion, self-protection or ignorance, we had decided for many years that going to church would not be an option for us...until last night!

I saw the invitation sign in front of the church that welcomed families to their Vacation Bible School program. Fleetingly, my mind went to a place that this could be a fun experience that might help the boys to meet new friends. I decided, for the hey of it, to complete an on-line registration and began to talk about "trying it" to test my son's reaction.

Amazingly, both boys sounded excited! Crazy! Although our oldest appeared super anxious in the hours before we left, we worked through our day and he ACTUALLY WENT WILLINGLY! (Our last Bible School episode consisted of crying and clinging and needless to say, I was a permanent fixture on the pew for the entire week.)

We stayed in the lobby for while last night and chit-chatted with some of the staff, all the while listening for signs of distress. It never happened. When we picked our oldest up, we noticed he was anxiously scanning the the sanctuary to find us. When I approached him, his body was tightly wound and he yelled "What the freak!!!" three times, but no one skipped a beat to look in our direction. Thank God!

The woman who was leading our oldest son's group smiled and said he did fine. SCORE! She went on to say, " He was answering questions very honestly!" Hmmm...He is very honest; sometimes TOO honest. (I'm probably better off to not know what he said and take the fact that he enjoyed most of his experience as a gift!! Almost certainly there was talk of zombies and possibly demons; he likes to get a rise out of his audience.)

The take away for us is that we CAN attend church again! Our oldest may have his moments, but, at this point, the good definitely outweighs the bad. Attending a regular church that is supportive of our families' needs is so important for many reasons. As I said above, families with children who have autism can often feel isolated. How many friends have you lost since finding out your child has autism? A few for me, sadly. So this, this, is HUGE for us!!

What are your thoughts and experiences with attending religious services in regards to your child who is on the autism spectrum? What challenges or supports have you encountered?

What's your policy for identifying people with special needs who may need support at your church?

I spent most of Sunday afternoon hanging out with my laptop, a chai latte, and a cinnamon crunch bagel at Panera, pounding out some written policies for Access Ministry at our church. One policy, which you can read in its preliminary form below, is about identifying individuals who have disabilities or special needs that could make it difficult for them to be involved at our church. You see, while some people have visibly obvious disabilities - like the facial features of most individuals with Down syndrome or like a wheelchair or walker used by someone with a physical impairment - other disabilities aren't as obvious.

In two separate instances at our church, a few years apart, two children with autism spectrum disorders were involved in our church each week. While their behavior was not typical, volunteers in one class thought that the child was naughty (because he often flapped his hands, refusing to sit still, and because he yelled and threw things when he became overwhelmed with sensory input, like hearing too much noise or having too many people close to him) and volunteers in another class just thought the other child was withdrawn (because he never talked or made eye contact). We found out about the first child's diagnosis when the teachers spoke to the parents about his behavior after class, and we found out about the other when we converted to a computerized child check-in system (called KidCheck) and the parent typed "autism" in the section labelled "allergies and medical information." (And we're looking into adding a yes/no option with the question "does your child have any special needs?" but we don't understand all the ins and outs of KidCheck yet, so I'm not sure when and if that will happen!)

While some actions can make parents feel more comfortable about disclosing a disability - for example, a confidentiality policy to prevent the information from being shared publicly - there isn't a perfect solution to this. Even adding a question like the one we're trying to add to KidCheck isn't foolproof; some parents may ignore it if they're in a hurry, and others might not want to tell us about the special needs until they're sure they can trust us. I'm not implying that we should give up, just acknowledging that no solution will completely remedy the issue.

Here's our policy so far.

We do our best to identify individuals with special needs who may need additional support to function well in our church body. Some disabilities, though, are not immediately obvious in appearance. Additionally, others are manifested by behaviors that seem disobedient or intentional. And some individuals, especially some of our youngest participants, may have special needs that haven’t been diagnosed yet. Because of this and because you have been shown extravagant grace by God, show grace to each person you encounter.

If we find out that an individual in your class has a disability or other special needs, we will let you know. If a parent or individual shares with you that he/she or his/her child has a disability or other diagnosed special need or that the child is going through the process of diagnosis, please let the Access Ministry coordinators or a Family Discipleship staff member know and do not assume that we already know, even if the disability is printed on the KidCheck nametag*.

*As a note of explanation, allergy information is printed on nametags to advise the teachers, so if a parent lists something like autism in the field for allergies, it does print out in that space. We make sure parents understand that and advise that they remove any information that isn't crucial, particularly for children whose classmates can read. If we add a field in KidCheck for special needs, that will not be printed on the nametags for obvious confidentiality reasons.

What do you think? How does your church handle this? How do you actively identify kids or adults who might benefit from the special needs ministry program at your church?