Weekly round-up {8/29/11}

Happy Monday! The last week included feeling the house shake from the Virginia earthquake, prepping for the impact from Hurricane Irene (which was minimal for us, as we pray for those who were hit harder), and participating in the Connecting Church and Home conference in Louisville, Kentucky. While God taught me a lot from each of the circumstances from the past week, I'm looking forward to a quieter and calmer week.

The Gospel and the Oncology Waiting Room: This thoughtful article by Mike Pohlman was a good reminder for me that God's glory is evident in oncology waiting rooms and in other places in which we're face to face with the truths that, "He gives us life and breath and all things, and, therefore, we are utterly dependent creatures; that sin is real and has a million tragic consequences; that pride is ridiculously ugly and meekness wonderfully beautiful; that we are called to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep with those who are weeping; that people are either saved or lost; that God’s grace is real, His Son all-sufficient, and through the cross, cancer will one day be no more."

'Deselecting' our children: This article made me want to vomit, beginning with the first paragraph. It describes exulting Danish headlines that declare success in efforts to create "a Down syndrome-free perfect society." This, my friends, is why the church needs to be speaking up in Denmark and here and everywhere else. People with disabilities were created by God and matter to God; the gospel is just as relevant and vital to their lives as ours. Killing babies with disabilities does not make a "perfect society" but rather a warped ones.

From a blog post on Kamping with Autism: "On the other end, where he has a high tolerance for pain, he is VERY sensitive to light and sound. At church there are florecent lights everywhere and Kamp is constantly trying to turn off the lights, which really helps the kids stay reverent. He does this because he can see the constant flicker of the lights. Often, flickers that ”normal” people don’t notice until the bulb is about to go out. We also suspect he can hear the slight hum, again, something most of us don’t hear. He hates when the organ at church is turned on and can’t stand stores that have bright colors. He trys to leave, or just screams until we take him out. When he is bombarded by these things, he goes into sensory overload and – more often than not – it usually ends up in a melt down. He feels REAL physical pain; something I’m just beginning to understand; it must be horrible to have to fight these things every day of his life."

Appropriate Language about People with Disabilities: Best ministry-related post I've seen on this topic!

Sensory What? A post from Jackie Mills-Fernald about how we can support kids in church settings who have sensory dysfunction disorders.

And, to close, news bits about faith groups doing life with people who have special needs:

Practical ideas we'll be using this fall

Have you discovered Pinterest? It's a website that allows you to organize pictures from around the web on your own pinboards, linking back to the original page so you can explore the picture, idea, or concept more fully. I have a variety of boards - related to home decor, crafts, book, quotes, recipes and more - but the one I'm pulling from today is my "To Include" board. I've provided all of the original links, but if you want to see the whole pinboard, go here. (And if you need an invite to join Pinterest, leave your email in a comment below or email me at shannon@theworksofgoddisplayed.com!)

I love this sponge Jenga game. (Go here for the source, which includes instructions and other ideas for these little sponge blocks.) I love it for special needs ministry because it won't make a racket when it falls (which could be unpleasant or even painful for someone with sensory processing difficulties) and because they can't hurt others if thrown (which is a behavior we've seen in some of our kids).

Has anyone used one of these Ikea chairs in a special needs setting? The cover can close to create a personal, private space. And it's only $80.

Here's another sponge activity for you - could play with these dry or wet! I love cheap and easy sensory toys. Here's the original post that explains how to make them.

Yep, that's bubble wrap, spray-painted with stencils and held in place with double-sided tape. Fun sensory play for active friends, found here!

And while the ideas above are fun, my favorite "pins" so far are a variety of sensory box ideas. We're going to make some of these in clear bins with covers and keep them in our supply closet to rotate through as needed. Keep in mind whenever making or using these that supervision is necessary (it doesn't take long for a bean or other small item to go in a mouth, nose, or ear! or for the whole bin to be dumped out, making a mess) and that allergies must be considered (for example, one box I saw used hay pieces; I would find an alternative item to use that isn't allergenic). 
a gardening sensory bin with beans, shovels, pots, and fake flowers; found here

a transportation-themed sensory bin, found here (and, if you're interested in more, this site has a TON of other sensory bin ideas as well; she makes one each month for her son)

an idea (from the same site as above) of making a card of items to find in a sensory bin! keep it with the bin, and you have a sensory bin + I Spy activity

a farm-themed bin, found here, and ...

...another farm one, found here

a "butterfly" sensory tub made with pasta! great idea from here

And I'll end with this, found on Pinterest and pinned from the sidebar of this site:
Ain't that true for all of us?

Interview time with Jocelyn

Because I want to be like Jenelle when I grow up (or, um, something like that) and because she posted this and because I loved it the last time I did it, it's interview time again...


What's your name? "Jocelyn, remember?"


How old are you? "Four. [pause] Mom, you know this stuff. What are you doing?"


What are you wearing right now? "A dress that is a nightgown sometimes too." (That's true. Sometimes she wears it as a dress, but sometimes she sleeps in it.)


What is your favorite…
  • Food? "Hot dogs. And ramen with a little water in it and sauce in the ramen."
  • Cereal? "Hmm, let me think ... pink squares! 'Cause that's a kind of cereal. Really, Mommy, it is. We just ate it a long time ago and that's why you don't remember." (I have no idea what she's talking about.)
  • TV Show? "I have a lot of favorites. My favorite is Arthur, Calliou, and Curious George, and the last one ... uh ... CyberChase."
  • Movie? "All my princess movies and The Incredibles."
  • Book? "All of my books in my room." (Yes, she is her mother's daughter. I can never answer that either.)
  • Song? "All the songs I know and can sing. Like Twinkle Twinkle, Rock-A-Bye Baby, and Lord, Compare Me." (Hmm, maybe we need to articulate the words to Sanctuary a little better: "Lord, prepare me/to be a sanctuary...")
  • Thing to do at home? "Have friends over and play in the backyard with them and play with the bubble machine." 
  • Color? "Pink and purple and orange and yellow."
  • Toy? "All of my toys."
  • Disney princess? "I don't know because all of them are my favorites so I don't know."
  • Fast food restaurant? "The one with jelly. 'Cause, remember? Where we go-ed with Aunt Laurie? That's the kind of restaurant I like." (I have no idea what she's talking about! I guess I have to ask Aunt Laurie.)
  • Sit-down restaurant? "That's the one I was talking about, the one we go-ed to with Aunt Laurie and Uncle Jay." (Oh, Sweet Tomatoes is what she's talking about. She doesn't know what "fast food" means, though she has certainly eaten it before!
  • Game? "Dora princess game!" (It's a Wii game. Don't get it. She might like it, but I hate it.)


How much do you think the following costs…
  • New Car? "26" (Nope, no units.)
  • House? "36" (Maybe we should work on units of measurement.)
  • Milk? "Three dollars." (Okay, I feel better about the units thing now.)


Where would you go if you could go anywhere on vacation? "To the beach house or to the big city where we went to with Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Laurie and Uncle Jay."


What do you want to be when you grow up? "Remember, Mommy? Make movies! I want to be an actress."


If you could change your name, what would you change it to? "Lizzie Rose."


If you could have one superpower what would it be? "I don't know. The bubble one or a running fast one or the make storms one. Maybe...the bubble one to make big bubbles that get little when you touch them and it doesn't pop once you touch it."


If you could wish for anything and have it come true, what would your one wish be? "I wish I could get back in your belly and get small and then I fall out and then it will be my five birthday and we'll have a party." (Yes, her wishes are to return to the womb and to turn five. I don't know what to say about that.)


And, as a reprise of last year's questions (see her previous answers here!)...
My dad is 30 years old. (Yep! It's his birthday today.) 
He weighs 260 pounds.  (She ran to the scale to consult it. And he's put on a bit of weight if she's right!)
His hair is black like Mommy's, and his eyes are maybe the same as mine
He likes to relax by laying down and stopping doing stuff and maybe falling to sleep.
When my dad shops, he loves to buy all the things we don't have. 
His favorite TV show is Mommy and Daddy ones. (In other words, not cartoons.)
I make him happy when I love him. 
I really love it when he makes me happy. 


My mom is past Daddy years old. (Nope, still rocking my 20s for ten more months!)
She weighs 500 pounds. (Wow, I've put on some weight!)
Her hair is the same as Daddy's but not curly, and her eyes are the same as mine.
She likes to relax by falling asleep.
When my mom shops, she loves to buy peanut butter and jelly.
Her favorite TV show is Mommy and Daddy ones. (In other words, not cartoons.)
I make her happy by loving you. And I make you sad by being angry.
I really love it when she makes me happy.

I love her. :)


Welcoming parents



Whenever I know we'll have a new family visiting, I line up others to cover the tasks I usually do on Sunday morning so that I can be fully available. Sometimes I only have to greet the family, help mom and/or dad find the right classroom, introduce the volunteers - both the teachers and, if needed, the one-on-one buddy - and walk them to the worship center (we have a large building, so it's not always intuitive to find the service). Other times - like this past Sunday - I spend the entire Sunday school hour with one of the parents, usually the mom, who isn't ready to go to service and would prefer to hang around in case her child(ren) are having a tough time.

Either way, I'm happy to move at their pace.

Here is my list of tips for welcoming parents of individuals with special needs (usually children, sometimes adults who need the support of living at home with their parents; we also talk with caregivers from group homes and other facilities when they are the ones bringing an adult with disabilities to the church, and some - though not all - of these tips apply to those interactions as well). Because this list focuses on the parents, I'll use "child" to refer to adults and children; I might be grown up, but I'm still my momma and daddy's child and will always be.

  • Learn from them. While I do impart information about what we offer during our first conversation, my first priority is to learn from them. They know far more about their children than I ever will. Steve Wright, our pastor of family discipleship with who I am privileged to serve, keeps a container of 112 ping pong balls in his office. Two are black, and the rest are white. Those balls represent the waking hours in a week (assuming eight hours of sleep, so I joked with him the other day that he needs to add more white balls for most of our middle and high school students!). The black balls are the hours spent in our various ministries, and the white ones are the ones spent outside of church. The lesson? We're missing out if we only focus on the black balls. To truly impact our communities, we need to plug into those white ball hours - equipping families to worship God with their lives outside of church and to share the hope they have in Christ with others. And while we learn a lot about our friends with special needs at church, we can learn more if we find out what their lives are like during the white ball hours.
  • Respect where they're at right now. I love the quote in the image (source: here) at the beginning of this post. We don't know the battle being fought by anyone who enters our church buildings or any other area of our lives. We don't need to know it. All we need to know is the grace we've received from God in Christ as the sacrifice we needed but could never deserve. Once we know that grace, we can impart it to others.
  • Encourage parents to trust you and your team. It is huge for them to trust you with their child. Huge. At this time of year, my Facebook feed is full of teary posts about friends who are sending children off to college or school. Take that emotion and concern, and dial it up by a factor of about 10, and then you'll begin to understand how parents of individuals with special needs might feel about leaving their children in Sunday school. 
  • Don't be put off by hesitance or hostility. I'll be posting more about this in the future, but please understand that most of these parents have been burned before. As such, they might not being willing to share much with you or they may be pushy because they expect a fight. Don't let either attitude surprise you or make you defensive.
  • Have a plan for what you'll do if a parent asks to stay in class with their child. In addition to hostility and hesitance, the final "h" we see from parents is "helicoptering." It's hard to just drop a child off, regardless of the abilities, but - unlike with some other parents - it's not overprotectiveness for parents of kids with special needs; it's just protectiveness. We discourage parents from staying in class, though, for two reasons: (1) we want to give parents a chance to engage in our church community outside of their child's class and (2) we require background checks for all volunteers in our children's, student, and Access Ministry classes as a safety measure. Last Sunday the mom we had visiting our church asked if she could stay, and my response was, "Certainly! However, because we require all volunteers in the classroom to have background checks, let's step into the hall instead of staying here in the room." This enabled our Access buddy to take some ownership in the classroom, mom to stay nearby, and me to usher her into the hall, and it did so in a way that helped her feel more comfortable, as she commented, "wow, background checks. That's such a good idea for churches." 
  • Allow parents to serve if they want to, but don't require it. We try to protect our parents by not requiring them to serve, but we have one who prefers it and who has served as her son's one-on-one buddy for most of the past fifteen years and we have another who has asked if we would be okay with her serving as the buddy for her preschool son this coming year. If parents serve, though, they require background checks before they can volunteer in the classroom.
  • Show joy in serving. I had one mom tell me that she liked our church because unlike others, we included her son ... and unlike other churches who were willing to include her son, we didn't make it seem like they were a burden for us. I can get into a task-oriented mindset that gets the job done but that doesn't show that I love people, and that's not okay. The tasks only matter because the people matter. You serve well if you serve with joy, and parents will be more comfortable if they see that.
What else would you - as a parent or as a ministry worker - add to this?


Weekly round-up {8/22/11}

Hi, friends! Sorry this didn't get out as early as usual, but it's been for good reasons: I've been hard at work on some plans for Access Ministry in our church, as well as meeting with parents and redesigning some of what we do in response to what I'm hearing from them. Good stuff, very good stuff.

Tim Challies posted today with ten tips for teaching young children about God. Many of these tips also apply to people of varying abilities at older ages as well.

This article about being courteous and helpful to people with disabilities in retail settings could also apply to us in the church: Pay attention. Offer help if it might be needed. If a reasonable accommodation is requested, honor it, even if it requires a little effort to execute. Show that people matter with your actions, not just your words.

I love this idea for quarterly meet-ups with others engaging in special needs ministry in your city/area. I don't have the time right now to get that going in Raleigh, but I've added it to my "in the next year or two" plans.

Key Ministry and the Pajama Conference is hosting the first Special Needs Ministry Web Summit, called the Inclusion Fusion, on November 3rd through 5th this year. I'll be part of it (YAY!), and it will be a free event you can participate in from your office or home. Check out more info here.

When I taught special education in public school in Rio Grande City, Texas, I connected best with students and families by doing home visits. It helped me understand their lives when I interacted with them outside of school, and it helped them see that I cared about them beyond the 50 minutes they spent in my classroom. This column about some of the debate surrounding home visits and the accompanying comments were intriguing to me, and I bring it up because I think home visits can be beneficial to get to know the individuals in your church's special needs ministry as well. (Another consideration: We reciprocate by inviting them into our home too. We're hoping to sell our current home and move to a wheelchair accessible home within the next year so we can do this with all of our Access Ministry families. We don't just aim to do church together; we want to truly do life together.)

This about.com article, Eight Reasons to Be Inclusive, is a great reminder of why we do what we do.

I can't recommend this entire article - in part, because it was hard to follow - but this quote stood out:
“They [the parents] are forced to make choices other families never even consider:  Can we go to church?  Will we be invited to a family Thanksgiving celebration?  Can I stop for a gallon of milk?  And often, the answer leads to another burden:  they can do those things, but separately.  Except for the times when I’ve been in their house, I’ve never once in eight years seen Bob and Jane together in public.”
...food for thought, huh? What can we do so that "can we go to church?" isn't a question that parents of kids with special needs have to consider?

If you're in the Tuscaloosa area, this church-based art program for kids with autism could use supplies. Check out the info here.

I guest blogged this week at Rest Ministries with a post previously published here: Raise Your Hands if You Really Love Jesus

Jackie Mills-Fernald from McLean Bible Church posted about Communicating and Collaborating with Parents in special needs ministry. Well worth the read!

News bits I found this week about faith groups who are including people with special needs...
Hope you've had a great Monday!