first day of SCHOOL!

Remember when I posted that we would be homeschooling? In that post, I said:

I interrupt this post to remind all of you that I LIKE PLANS. God has clearly deemed that 2012 is the year of teaching me to hold plans loosely and be more flexible, but some days I just want to curl up in the fetal position while hugging a planner and pretending that I have some control over my life. I am thankful that God is in control, and I do know that His plans are so much better than mine, but that doesn't mean I'm not struggling with the loss of the plans I expected.

So when you ask where Jocelyn is going to school this year, please forgive me if I force a huge smile, proudly announce that I think we're homeschooling but I'm not really sure because I still kind of hope that Plan A of the public school we really like will work out, and then promptly burst into tears.

Well, last night just after dinner and after I put Zoe to bed, I checked my email. And found out that Plan A had been approved!

Which meant that I had roughly 12 hours to get school supplies, impart the "you're going to school, so here's what I want you know before you go" wisdom, pick out clothes, pack lunch and snack, and figure out the ins and outs of how this morning would work.

(Praise God that our friend Vallory had joined us for dinner and was willing to bathe the big kids and put them to bed while I ran a couple of errands to get ready!) 

Yesterday at this time, I was deciding what day we'd start homeschooling. Now, I'm hanging out with my handsome little fella while the baby girl sleeps and the big girl schools at the public school we love.

Here are some of the first day of school pictures that I didn't think I'd get to take. (Well, at least, not of her going off to school. I would have taken first day of homeschooling shots, because I'm addicted to pictures of my precious ones.) I couldn't stomach balancing three kids, paperwork, and a late start to school (not to the day - we were on time! just a couple days late to the school year) with a camera too, so the only school-based shots I have are in the woodsy area by the parking lot.

You'll see that Robbie is more interested in his Spider-Man toy than the camera. I picked it up last night, along with the school supplies, because I had no idea how long it would take to straighten out all the logistics this morning. Bribery: A Dinglefest household tradition. (It worked.)

She was thrilled to get started, and she entered the classroom like she owned the place, even though she missed the first day. I had a chance to chat with the principal and a couple of parents, and I absolutely love her main teacher. It's the biggest K class they have, but two teachers co-teach along with a teaching assistant and I think that will be a great environment for our big girl.

So. stinking. excited!

P.S. - I still want to curl up in the fetal position while clutching my planner, if nothing more than to take a long nap in that position, because I. am. spent. But we are overjoyed, with every expectation that Jocelyn will truly thrive at her new school and with the knowledge that the rest of us will adjust to missing her during the day!

links I'm loving in disability ministry {9/4/12}

Growing a Healthy Special Needs Ministry: This is a mini-conference here in Raleigh sponsored by the Family Support Network of Wake County, with keynote Carlton McDaniel. I'll be there! Mark your calendar: 8am-12:30pm on October 27.

How to Reduce the Flow of Transfers Out: "Thirty-three percent of families changed their place of worship because their child with a disability was not included or welcomed into the life of the congregation. Of these families who left, some of them not only left their congregation, but left their faith tradition!" (This article includes links to several free resources from the Christian Reformed Church in North America.)

Counterculture is the cure: "The head of the body himself, Jesus, welcomed all the little children, noticed those in need, and reached out to those in isolation. So many times our churches speak against something, but what if our churches spoke for something; inclusion of all people, no matter their ability or outward appearance. Could we change the culture?"

Starting a Special Needs Ministry at Your Church: Gillian writes about the launch of her church's special needs ministry in the Chicago area.

A Great App for Helping Kids Learn the Bible: We haven't used this yet, but Rob shared it with me and I'll be writing a post on it soon!

Too High a Price: Why I Don't Do Behavior Charts: "Yes, behaviour charts can create a classroom full of raised hands, quiet voices, walking feet, please-and-thank-yous. But a child’s dignity is too high a price to pay for criss-cross-applesauce."

Some of the Most Unreached People in the United States: "What if you found out that a specific group of families in your community were unreached with the gospel? What if I told you that families from this group regularly share stories with me about rejection from churches?"

Following Tragedy, Special Needs Hotline in the Works: "After hearing about an overwhelmed mother who killed her son and herself, concerned parents are creating a hotline for families of those with disabilities to turn to in times of need."

Seven Easy Ways to Help a Family Diagnosed with Autism: Or, really, with any other special need.

"Can't take much more of my child with special needs"... The person who prompted this post could be a member of your church who is too afraid to take off her mask of the supposedly perfect parent. Is your church a safe place for people to come for help if they're struggling with these sorts of emotions?

RESOURCE: Our church's Special Needs Ministry Quick Reference Guide

Yesterday I provided an introduction and a teaser for this, but here it is: Special Needs Ministry Quick Reference Guide

On one side, you'll find tips for including children of all abilities in the Sunday school classroom, including those with

• hyperactivity
• impulsiveness
• physical impairments
• sensory avoiding/seeking behaviors
• assistive devices
• reading difficulties
• allergies

The other side offers a basic theological reasoning for including children with disabilities in the church, an exhortation to partner with parents, and basic information about several categories of special needs, such as:

• autism spectrum disorders
• developmental and cognitive disabilities
• learning disabilities
• AD/HD
• physical impairments
• allergies
• Down syndrome
• intellectual disabilities
• mental illness

While the version you'll find at that link is multi-colored, I designed it to print well in gray-scale as well. (I know ink isn't cheap, and ministry budgets are rarely flush!) 

As with anything I share on the blog, my policy for your use is simple: 

1. Since I share it freely, I expect the same from you. In other words, don't make a buck off of my work!
2. Please give me credit and, if possible, direct folks to this blog. This isn't about an ego trip; honestly, I don't care if no one knows my name as long as all people with disabilities are welcome in the church. Until that happens, I'll be writing here to equip folks, and the more people who visit the blog, the more people who are being equipped to open their church doors wide.

Finally, I caught a typo in the resource as I was writing this post, so I'll be revisiting it sometime soon-ish to fix it. If you notice anything else you think should be re-worded, changed, or corrected, please let me know. 

Hope this resource can help! 

P.S. - I'm thinking of creating a few more resources like this to offer freely here. Any suggestions for my next one?

Special needs ministry resource in The Journal of Discipleship & Family Ministry

In the midst of the spring's move and summer's adoption, I forgot to share this over here. After I created a special needs ministry resource to equip volunteers, I was asked to write a corresponding article for The Journal of Discipleship & Family Ministry. Here's the article, and here's the PDF of the entire journal text, minus the resource I mention in it. 

(Come back tomorrow for the PDF of our Special Needs Ministry Quick Reference sheet. Yep, I'm leaving you hanging until then.)

Equipping the Generations: 

Maintaining the Message, Modifying the Method with Special Needs Families

When my husband and I teach our two small children, we adjust our approach as necessary based on their different ages, genders, temperaments, and personalities. The message of Christ remains the same, but the strategies we employ are occasionally different as we consider God’s unique design in each of them. As we seek to train Jocelyn and Robbie in the way each should go (Prov 22:6), we acknowledge that God’s perfect design as he knit each of them together in my womb (Ps 139:13-14) resulted in two precious but different children.

This approach of maintaining one message through different methods isn’t new. Christ taught in the temple, on the countryside, by the well, on the road, and from a boat. He taught individuals, small groups, and crowds. In the early church, the apostles considered the context of those to whom they preached; for example, when Paul preached in the synagogue, he expected listeners to have more familiarity with the law and the prophets than he did when preaching to the Gentiles. If you asked five people in your own church how each came to know Christ, each testimony will be unique but Christ will be the same in each.

In the same way, when we teach children and youth and adults with disabilities in our homes and in the church, what we proclaim (the gospel) doesn’t change but how we do so (our strategy) differs in response to God’s good and different design in each person. When I taught writing to middle school students with disabilities in Rio Grande City, Texas, I sought the same outcomes through different means, depending on the individual strengths and needs of each student. In the same way, as I coordinate Access—the special needs ministry of Providence Baptist Church—I modify my approach as I teach each individual and equip their parents and caregivers.

With my experience and graduate training in special education, I am not intimidated by the idea of modifying my methods while teaching the same message of Christ. Most of our teachers don’t share my background, though, so we created the Special Needs Ministry Quick Reference guide to equip our volunteers. We hadn’t planned to use it as a family-equipping tool, but it became one when parents began asking for their own copies and using the tips while discipling their own children and leading their families in worship.

At Providence, we have chosen to invest in welcoming people with disabilities and their families in the church because we believe, in the words of 1 Corinthians 12:22, that the parts that the world calls weak are actually indispensable to the body of Christ. As we consider the Great Commission, we recognize that one people group is absent from many churches—the group of people with disabilities and their families. We follow the Lord who taught the parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:3-7, Matt 18:12-14) in which the shepherd leaves ninety-nine others to pursue one lost sheep. If we modeled our ministry after that parable, one family would be enough to make special needs ministry worthwhile.
However, the prevalence is much greater than that: a study published in the journal Pediatrics in May 2011 indicates that one in six children in the United States has a developmental disability.

If it is worthwhile to pursue the one missing sheep out of a flock of a hundred, how about the one family in every six who is affected by disability?

and the early intervention ball is rolling...

This morning, our Early Intervention Service Coordinator came for a visit. Zoe will be evaluated this coming Tuesday to determine what her present level of functioning is and what services (like physical therapy) she could use. We'll end up having an IFSP - an Individualized Family Service Plan - which, for those of you in the world o' education, is similar to an IEP, just for the younger (birth to age three) crowd.

Anyway, back to the visit...

I don't have the mental or physical energy to get into all the details (not just because I cleaned furiously this morning, stayed up late two nights ago redesigning my other blog, or parented three little ones all day... but also because I've succumbed to the 30 Day Shred workout. And developed a love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels), so here are the highs and lows:

• I am now certain that the influx of service providers in our home (since most early intervention services are done in the child's natural setting) will improve my housecleaning skills.
• I am also certain that I'll be reserving special movies or borrowing ones from friends to distract the big kids during those services.
• I kept my composure as I calmly told Robbie, "We have company, so please put your underwear and pants back on."
• I realized too late that my words implied that nakedness is a-okay in the absence of company. (Okay, maybe that's true sometimes.)
• I wish I had taken a picture when Jocelyn climbed up on a barstool next to the coordinator with a pink legal pad and began copying the notes from A's page onto her own.
• I loved getting to chat adoption with A, as they are partway through their homestudy to adopt a baby domestically.
• I am pretty sure that A didn't catch much of what Jocelyn or Robbie told her, because they are so thrilled to interact with humans outside of our family that they spoke in their high-pitched, fast-speed, excited voices, which require me as a translator.
• (We need to get out more. Friends, consider this your official notice that we ARE now up for playdates and whatnot again, but I don't have the mental energy to set them up, so please reach out to me!)
• I opted not to translate for him when Robbie started talking to her about guns.
• Robbie climbed in her lap twice. And walked over and squeezed her thigh once. I need to watch that boy, especially as he gets older. Sheesh!
• I love that we've had Zoe with us long enough that I was able to answer some questions from our shared experiences and not just based on what I read from her experiences before us.

On that note, here's one of the sweetest pictures from our beach trip last weekend. I love: that Zoe is eating from a bottle easily now, after the labor of feedings through a syringe in our first days with her. that Jocelyn is smiling in classic perky fashion. that Robbie is distracted, in classic three-year-old boy fashion. and that my four favorite people are just hanging out in an ordinary moment outside of a gas station.

Life is good. 

Even when I have to remind Robbie to put his clothes back on.