I don't want to go to Uganda!

Jocelyn has talked about traveling around the world, helping people and telling them about Jesus, since she was 2. International adoption has sharpened that desire, so as we prayed about the trip to Uganda, we felt certain now was the right time to take the kids out of the country.

Jocelyn was ecstatic. Every person we've met since then has heard about her upcoming Africa trip and the siblings she'll meet there. Her love for adoption and missions and the world is constantly on display.

Except for at the travel clinic.

We went to get our vaccinations. Yellow fever for all of us, typhoid for all but Zoe who is too young for that one, and boosters for a few things for Lee and me. Zoe was angry about it, but got over it quickly... because chocolate was available. Robbie made some impressive faces and shouts with each shot, but he bounced back too.

Jocelyn? She sat on my lap at first and then both fight and flight kicked in. She fought me, tried to bolt from the office, and yelled, "I don't want to go to Uganda!" As we brought her back to the chair, she whimpered about staying with friends of ours like she did when we went to Taiwan.

The picture above shows a precious hug, but the hold I used at the clinic was less tender. Lee and I both restrained her, the nurse moved quickly, and she cried for 20 minutes after the shots.

Even though she tried to convince us otherwise, we knew she didn't want to stay in Raleigh while the rest of us went to Africa. We knew she wanted to see the world and meet her siblings on their home soil and understand the world from which they are coming.

As she hollered, "I don't want to go to Uganda!" we knew she really did. And so, we held her down and made her endure temporary pain for the trip of her lifetime.

It made me think of this:

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. {2 Corinthians 4:17}

How many hard moments in my life have been like her hard moment in the travel clinic? How often has my loving Father held me down for pain, knowing the future glory I couldn't see or imagine at the time? How much might I have missed without those light and momentary afflictions He not only allows but also inflicts, that I might be prepared for the eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison?

Someday, Jocelyn will feel a different kind of pain and ask me why. I'll be able to remind her of the pain in the travel clinic that prepared her for the trip to her siblings. I'll tell her that I don't know how her present hurt will benefit her but that I trust God when He says it will.

And, just as I did after the shots, I'll hold her for as long as it takes to cry it out.

on grants, doll giveaway winners, fundraising tees, and one more auction

In other words, I post full of randomness.

For those of you who are only stopping by to find out if you won the dolls, check the image below! I listed Shola from Afghanistan first, so Teresa will receive that doll, and Brooke, Mosi is all yours. Congrats to both of you, and be on the lookout for an email from me to get your mailing address!

For the rest of you who care about the other stuff, GRANTS! So far, we have received three: two outright grants in which a check is written right away (from Sea of Faces Foundation and The LYDIA Fund), and one matching grant in which $2500 will be granted to us as soon as we raise $2500 in donations to match that (from Lifesong for Orphans).

Side note: Some friends have asked why Lifesong wouldn't just give the grant outright. The short answer is that they are a Christian organization, wanting the church to be the church. They provide the matching grant as a tool for families to use to engage their fellow church members and other friends in supporting the adoption and caring for the adoptive family.

We're waiting to hear from a few more grants, and meanwhile, we're proceeding with fundraising plans. Two of those are (1) another auction and (2) t-shirt sales. The shirt pre-orders will begin later this week. The auction will begin Monday, including 20 necklaces from The Adopt Shoppe, a couple sets of personalized burp cloths, more gift cards, a gift certificate to a beginning motorcycling class, a dress from Shabby Apple, and more!

In other adoption plans, we're getting travel vaccines tomorrow. This marks two weeks off meds for rheumatoid arthritis and another three weeks left before I can restart them. My trusty self-injectables suppress my immune system, and the yellow fever shot is a live vaccine. In other words, basic medical math:

yellow fever vac + immunosuppressing drugs = yellow fever

And I'm thinking we want to avoid that.

For now, I'm feeling the effects of being off meds. My throat is badly swollen (RA fact o' the day: the cricoarytenoid joint, near the windpipe, can get swollen and damaged by rheumatoid arthritis), and I'm a little achy in other joints, and I've been running some low-grade fevers. I knew we'd be facing this, though, so I planned with a month's free trial to Netflix DVDs. 

Parenting by screens: ain't no shame in it from time to time. 

Okay, that's it. I'd love to come up with a witty or clever end to the post... but I have nothing. So I'll borrow from a friend...

Have a nice day!

wrestling with God about the hard blessings

The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob's hip on the sinew of the thigh. (Genesis 32:22-32, ESV)

I love this passage. I love the re-christening that's given in the struggle. And I love the reality of the hard blessing, that Jacob leaves with a new name and legacy but also with a limp.

As I've reflected on them in recent weeks, I've both loved and hated passages like the one above and the one at the end of Genesis including Genesis 50:20 ("As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.") and the ones we know well because they're quoted often: Romans 8:28 ("And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.") and 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ("But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.")

I love them because of the precious promises held for us.

I hate them because of wrestle required to reach the promise.

I want to get on a plane to Uganda so badly it hurts. I want to know that the child who will be mine won't have to wait much longer for the HIV meds needed. I want to gather the three who have suffered such loss in my arms and assure them that Mommy is here.

I want the promise. Now. 

I don't know what it will look like, but after this adoption Lee and I have resolved to join efforts with those who are working to provide testing and treatment for HIV in Africa. Why? Because the hard reality is that our Ugandan three didn't have to be orphans.

That is not okay with me.

As much as I love adoption, I love it more when first families can stay together and when mothers don't have to die before their child with HIV is tested.

This bruised blessing is now leading to life for the child with HIV. Given the present realities (that I hope will change in my lifetime), that child wouldn't have been tested otherwise. The HIV infection likely would have progressed, undetected, and the precious child we love probably wouldn't have lived to be an adult. The three blessings we're adopting were only tested for HIV because the orphanage tests each child during the entry physical.

That's the reality motivating us to become involved in some way - at least financially - in HIV detection and treatment on the other side of the world. The verses that call us to do justice for orphans mean, for me at least, joining arms with those who are fighting public health epidemics that needlessly create orphans.

because we're not that different on this side of the world as they are on their side

As I work through how I feel about these passages, I'm wrestling with God myself. And I know I can trust Him, because I became His through the hardest blessing ever.

And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. {Hebrews 10:10}

our matching grant from Lifesong {or, how you can double donations toward bringing our precious ones home!}

One big difference between this adoption and our last one is summed up in one word: GRANTS!

Zoe's adoption was completed without an agency, which required more legwork on our end and more research to make sure everything was ethical. Not having an agency reduced some of our costs, but it also made us ineligible for grants. (Adoption grant organizations uniformly require that adoptive families use accredited agencies.)

This time, we applied for several, and we're waiting to hear back on most. One, from the Sea of Faces Foundation, was awarded to us last week (woohoo!), and we just got a call today about a $2,500 matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans. In other words, if we raise $2,500, then Lifesong will grant another $2500, for a grand total of $5000.

Would you consider making a donation to help us get all of the matching funds?

Before I explain how to give, let me explain - especially for those of you who are new to the blog - why you might consider giving.

1. It's not about us or our family. This is about a family in Africa, three siblings to be exact, who live in an orphanage in the fallout from the AIDS epidemic in their country. They were going to be separated in hopes of finding families sooner when a friend alerted us to their need. Your donation will help those three out of their orphanage and into a family... our family!


2. We adopted Zoe and are adopting again because children matter. I wrote about our reasoning and meaningful verses here. If anything ever happened to me and Lee, we would want our children to grow up in a family instead of a facility.


3. We're not rich. Well, we are rich in Christ, whose sacrifice on the cross allowed us to be adopted into the family of God. But we don't have the kind of money needed to fund the adoption of four children in less than two years. Zoe's adoption cost $25,000 in total, and this one will cost $40,000 in all. 


4. HIV shouldn't be a death sentence, but it often is for orphans. One of the siblings we're adopting is HIV+. We have written here, here, here, and here about what that means for us and why we said yes, but in short: HIV can be treated, and children with HIV can live normal lives. That is, if they have access to medical care and a stable environment in which their medications are given twice a day as needed.

Here's how you can do so. Via mail, send your donation to Lifesong directly (a check written to "Lifesong for Orphans" with "3782 Dingle" in the memo line) to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744. Or use the Paypal button below.

THE GRANT IS MATCHED! If you'd like to give to our adoption, you can still do so, but use the Paypal link in the top left side of the blog or email me at shannon {at} dinglefest {dot} com for information on how to mail in a donation. 

Finally a few words from Lifesong:

Lifesong for Orphans is a non-profit Christian ministry dedicated to help meet the needs of orphan children around the world, and to obey God’s call to “visit the fatherless…in their affliction” (James 1:27). With over 147 million orphans worldwide, Lifesong seeks to mobilize the Body of Christ to love and care for orphans. Lifesong serves families, churches and orphans through adoption funding. Additionally, Lifesong brings joy and purpose to orphans globally in seven countries and domestically through foster care initiatives. Please visit our website (www.lifesongfororphans.org) for more information.

Lee and Shannon have sensed God’s call to care for the fatherless and have joyfully stepped out in faith and obedience to adopt 3 siblings from Uganda. As you may already know, adoption can cost $25,000-$35,000, and this financial burden prevents many godly families from adopting. Lifesong believes God has called this family to adoption and has committed an Adoption Matching Grant of $2500.00 to help bring these children home.

Funds donated to Lifesong for Orphans will be given to help cover adoption expenses. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization and your gift is tax deductible. 100% of all funds raised will go directly to cover adoption costs--nothing will be taken out for Lifesong for Orphans administrative costs.

In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use. Individual donations $250 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250, will gladly be sent upon request.

Thanks for considering joining with us to provide a family for the three darling ones in Uganda who we love already, even though we haven't met them yet.

oh, the cuteness {trying on potential court outfits for Uganda}

I couldn't resist at post-Easter sales when I found majorly clearanced outfits in each of our kiddos' (present and future ones!) sizes. I'm considering using these, plus leggings for the girls, as court outfits in Uganda, but I might not given the red clay's potential of making them one-time wears.

Either way, uh.door.uh.bull. Seriously.

Uganda-loving friends, would I be terribly insane to bring this much white and pastel, knowing the persistence of Ugandan clay? 

(Also, any tried and true tips for getting the dirt out once we're home?)