remember that time when our house sold in a day? that was cool.

I meant to post this on March 31, but spring break. So let's just pretend I did...

On January 21, 2012, I posted a blog about our home-selling and adoption-ing plans. In it, I wrote:

So next step, get this house on the market next month. Then, sell it and find another house and buy that one and move. And then get underway with adoption plans.

Please pray for us. In my ideal world, we'll get an acceptable offer the first week our house is on the market and have time before closing to find the perfect-for-us home to buy so that the whole process will be as brief and painless as possible and we can move full speed ahead with the adoption plans. I know that's not the most likely scenario in the current housing market, so you can either pray that everything will go according to my ideal scenario or that God will sustain us through the different scenario He has in store.

But then on January 28, 2012, we found out about Zoe. We agreed to pray. We expected to say no. Nothing about it made sense in our plans: the timing, the uncertainty of her health, anything else. One day after we were contacted about Zoe, I told my friend Heather, "We know this just wouldn't be the right move for us."

But God took our plans of saying no and gave us our yes instead.

the first picture we have of her

Adding another child to the mix, especially one whose health and future had a lot of unknowns, made us even more hopeful about getting our house on the market and moving in a short window of time. All the unplanned adoption stuff - like fast-tracking a home study and all that jazz - meant we didn't get the house on the market in February like we had hoped.

I went on the market on the night of March 30th. And then...

And that post back on January 21, 2012? My dear friend left this comment on it.

Goosebumps, y'all.

i just have to take a moment to brag on my mama

She was born on the day WWII ended (V-J day, to be precise).

I hope she doesn't kill me for sharing that.

I think it's worth noting, though, because she was once a little girl who moved all over as a military brat but who considers her roots to be in New Orleans and Mississippi, a little girl who never imagined back then that her grandchildren would come in as many hues as they do.

We chose to say yes to adoption, which in our case meant saying yes to a multi-cultural family. 

My mom didn't really have a say in the matter, but you'd never know it. 

Considering I'm her baby, it's been a while since she's been in the mode of so many little ones. And she was quick to point out that she had three, not six, and none of us three were as close in age as my little ones are.

Nevermind that, though.

She embraced the crazy.

We love you, Mom. Thanks for filling spring break with wonderful memories for all of us.

for when you yell at your new child for the first time

As we all walked together through the church lobby, one pastor complimented my crew on how well they were all holding hands and listening. Another quipped that we ought to have our own reality show.

Then, as one of our deacons held the door for us and whispered another compliment as we entered the service, my daughter said something. I don't remember what it was, but I know it was in the only volume she ever speaks in, which is more than "loud" but not quite "obnoxious." 

And then I did what any mother would do just after being commended by three different church leaders.

I snapped, "Shut. up."

Mother of the year? Not me.

But it was better for all of us than my reaction several months ago, which was to live in constant fear that my already traumatized kids would never, ever, ever, ever heal if I screwed up. Too many people have failed them, I told myself, and I can't be another person in that line of failures. Their ability to move forward in life or to stay stuck in past hurts is up to me and my handling of their broken places, I whispered to my already perfectionist self.

What should I have said to those self-spoken mantras? 

Shut. up.

You will fail.

You will yell.

You will do your best and screw up anyway.

You will do your worst because, well, you're not Jesus.

You were never meant to save your children.

That's His job.

So go ahead: Fail. Yell. Screw up. 

And in doing so, 

teach them about humility when you apologize. 

teach them about forgiveness when you ask for it.

teach them about God when you turn to Him for perfection instead of expecting it 

from yourself.

or your children.

or your spouse.

Stop holding yourself to a standard that you were never, ever, ever, ever meant to meet.

Let us then with confidence draw near 

to the throne of grace, 

that we may receive mercy 

and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

media

reviews

I'm an active review blogger, a top Amazon reviewer, and a member of the selective Amazon Vine reviewing community. My readers are invested in feel-good stories and quality products, and that combination has led to drive interest and sales for items with higher end items (retailing from $500-$2000) like the the BOB Revolution stroller and Rifton Mini Pacer gait trainer to smaller items like books and bags and dolls.

I am most interested in reviewing toys, educational items for children, special needs equipment, and home decor, but even if your product isn't on the list, feel free to send a description to reviews@dinglefest.com and I'll consider it.

sponsored marketing campaigns

I'm very picky about who and how I partner with organizations. First, I publish my own content only, so it's an automatic no for campaigns asking me to cut and paste their pre-written posts. Second, I have to be able to see a benefit to my readers before I'll share anything with them. Third, I have to feel personally invested in the campaign. 

So far, only two campaigns have met those criteria: one on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorders (post one, two, three, and four) and one featuring Compassion International (here). Contact me at campaigns@dinglefest.com if you're interested in a marketing partnership.

advertising 

I am selective about what advertising I allow in this space, not including any in the seven years I've been blogging. That said, I'm open to partnerships with like-minded organizations and individuals, so please contact me at ads@dinglefest.com with your proposal and, if it's acceptable, we can discuss rates.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorders: facts, not fears

When we first considered adoption, one acronym sparked fear in us: FASD. Little did we know that we would begin an adoption and fall in love with a child, only to learn the fact partway through the process that significant amounts of alcohol exposure had occurred in the womb.

We were already all in, and we learned a valuable lesson:

Fears paralyze us, but facts equip us. 

Here are some posts full of facts about FASD:

another diagnosis: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Disorder

five things we should all know about FASD

an accurate FASD diagnosis matters

four reasons to fight stigma & support families